Theme Parks of Love, Revisited

March 9, 2003

"When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,when

you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on.Don't let

yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.Sometimes

everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along.When your day is

night alone, hold on, hold onif you feel like letting go, hold onwhen

you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on.Everybody

hurts. Take comfort in your friends.Everybody hurts. Don't throw your

hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand.If you feel like you're alone, no,

no, no, you are not aloneIf you're on your own in this life, the days

and nights are long,when you think you've had too much of this life

to hang on.Well, everybody hurts sometimes, everybody cries.

And everybody hurts sometimes.And everybody hurts sometimes.

So, hold on, hold on.Hold on, hold on.

Hold on, hold on.

Everybody hurts.

You are not alone."

~"Everybody Hurts" - REM

Friday was a real wonderfully entertaining day for me. i spent the

morning and afternoon at Disneyland. i just did it all. i trotted

merrily from one amusement spot to another, riding boats down a river

in the jungle, bobbing along in boats through a pirate's cavern,

bumpty-bumping through a haunted house with spirits zooming all

around. i thrilled to "see" spirits, Light-Forms from magical, Disney

light-makers whizzing all around me, and i thought of Linda of course.

i rode the Matterhorn and the gigantic sunwheel (which i very nearly

threw up on!) i got really brave and walted my way with all the

bravado i could muster onto the Screamin' California roller coaster.

It was the first time i'd ever been on one. Whew! i had to shut my

eyes on some of the spearheads downwards at such a rapid rate i

recalled dreams of falling off cliffs. It was a real trip to keep

things in perspective. But man i so loved it! Crazy, wild stuff on

Friday, to be sure.

Later that evening Robert and i went to a dinner at "The White House"

with thirty of his associates, hosted by the "Tofutti" tofu company.

Great food, great conversation and great fun. So, anyway, please

indulge me and let me relate something that happened that night, very

late at the restaurant, about midnight. We were all sitting inside at

a long table, stuffing our chops with lobster, pastas, soups, towers

of carved vegetables atop towers of fresh dips, wine, fruits and

delicate, delicious desserts...which i somehow managed to miss when i

was suddenly compelled to get up and leave the table and go outside.

Outside there was a large garden with tables and chairs and lovely

Southern California plants everywhere. Fragrance was everywhere -

food, flowers, Love, sky, Beloved and the singlular human being

sitting in the farthest part of the garden, alone in a chair in the

dark, cold night.

Ordinarily i probably wouldn't wander up to a strange man in the dark

in LA, but this man was the reason i was called outside. Who can say

how i knew this? i just acted on the motion of the Heart. i sat down

in the chair next to him and started talking, saying hello, how are

you and that kind of simple getting acquainted talk. He told me he

was from somehwere in the middle US, Ohio i think it was. He appeared

to be about 60 or near there in age. There was an incredible weariness

about the man. He began telling me that he had lost his will to face

this life, to keep working, to keep believing in anything. He spoke

about how the world was in a shambles and we were all going to hell

and everyone was evil and heartless. He said he was more lonely than

he had ever been and that he was just TIRED of living. God how i knew

exactly what he was actually saying. He was declaring his intent of

ending his life. i just knew that was why he was out there alone and

so sad it broke my Heart. He was bemoaning and berating the world,

his family, his collegues and then even me, and he started gently

crying and softly he started to sob, holding his head in his hands. i

started talking about Love and i told him that i had committed suicide

when i was very young and that i had died and then returned to this

body and this earth. i told him about what happened to me, about the

Intense, White Light that did not hurt, about the Immense, the

Incomprehensible Love i was embraced in, and i told him that i

understood his dispair and that i would stay here with him and

together we would be able to find Peace and Understanding. He looked

straight into my face and eyes and he stopped weeping and he asked me

again to say what i had just repeated to him and i did. i spoke about

the Love that was everywhere and in everything and that there is no

death as we think there is and that we are all here out of some Grand

Immensity of Love, a Mystery so profound that even now he and i were

simply lifted and sustained in That LoveLight. We talked for quite a

long time and then i knew, i knew that he was not going to kill

himself. i thanked him for sharing with me and i shook his hand and

told him how honored i was to meet him and that i would never forget

him or our talk that night. Then i got up and went across the

darkened garden and back into the restaurant and back to the dinner

table. The conversations around me, the DearHearts talking about food

and business and strategy and life, they never sounded so Delightful

as in that moment. The air was alive with Love and Beauty and

everything was absolutely perfect.

Here is the saying on my calendar for Friday, March 7th -

"Fly beyond your dreams -

knowing anything is possible

when you trust in the voice in your heart."

....Friday was also my Beloved Gurudeva, Paramahansa Yogananda's Mahasamdhi.

And i was near the City of Angels and this area was Master's home until he left in 1952.

Gracious? Sheesh! God IS Grace and we are Immersed in That.

LoveAlways,

Mazie Tired of spam? Get advanced junk mail protection with MSN 8.

March 10, 2003

Dear Mazieji:

Just like you,

this is so beautiful.

Love,

Joyce