Refuge in the Sangha

[Guest guest]

"Taking refuge in the sangha does not mean we're all good friends,

talk about Buddhism together, nod sagely, and criticize the people

who do not believe the way we do. Taking refuge in the sangha means

taking refuge in the brotherhood and sisterhood of people who are

committed to "taking off their armor." If we live in a family where

everyone is committed to taking off their armor, then one of the most

powerful means of learning how to do it is the feedback we give one

another, the kindness we give to one another. Normally when someone

is feeling sorry for herself and beginning to wallow in it, people

pat her on the back and say, 'Oh, you poor thing,' or 'For Pete's

sake, get over it!' But if you yourself are committed to taking off

your armor and you know that the other person is too, there is a way

that you can actually give them the gift of dharma... You encourage

them not to buy into their self-pity but to realize that it's an

opportunity to grow, and that everyone goes through this experience.

In other words the sangha are people committed to helping one another

to take off their armor, by not encouraging their weakness or their

tendency to keep their armor on. When we see each other collapsing,

or stubbornly saying, 'No, I like this armor,' there's an opporunity

to say that underneath all that armor are a lot of festering sores,

and a little bit of sunlight wouldn't hurt a bit. That's the notion

of taking refuge in the sangha."~Pema Chodron, from the book,

"Awakening Loving-Kindness," published by Shambhala.

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