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I cannot breathe deeply

in this dreamland of dual D'Oh-dom.

 

It's not enough to know or understand

what San or Dan are saying.

 

Like Vicki said one day,

something about the relevance of advaita

and the day to day heartbreak of watching

a loved one's bodily deterioration

and death's instruction becomes

more real, nearer and clearly moreso than ever.

 

Man oh man! And we think we cannot possibly

deal with any of this.

Whatever it is that presents

as angst and awe that we claw at

and that makes us feel

like we're inmates,

incarcerated in intractable pain

and all we can do to pass the day,

to get us through the night

is to gnaw

on our spirit chains.

 

It doesn't want to fit.

The situation doesn't seem to hit me hard enough,

and still, I go dumb and numb.

 

I cannot find amelioration in awe, pshaw. . .

 

I can too, I can find You in this.

Even when the Kiss is so cold

I feel like a mummy wrapped blind with time,

I can find that, that THING,

a calmness which comes and yes,

I guess I'm sounding sort of crazy.

 

I somehow forgot and thought

that what Lalla wrote, I knew.

I thought I knew.

I knew a lot. I got a lot.

 

Not!

 

Unsheathed nerves and a "can't breathe"

happenstance-circumstance

can be the knife that slices deep,

deep into the eye

of this enthralled hurricane,

this stormfront of mine

called quaintly, quirkily

by my multi-media taskforce -

 

"I."

 

 

Love,

 

Mazie

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Dear Mazie Lan,

 

One day I fell of my geld Astari

the ribs ached with pain,

i saw the pain,i heard the pain

i touched the pain

Oh , Sri Samkara!!!

I watched the pain,

I watched the pain

 

That is fun

I did not know that

I am different from the pain

but

I watched myself being different from the pain

See who suffers,leave the suffering and and

watch the watcher, the watcher of pain!!!

 

Then one day,i got typhoid

double attack of typhoid

Oh,Sri Samkara!!!

my body became weak!

I could not even talk

I could not even write a leave letter

I saw the body refusing to move

I saw the mouth refusing to talk

I saw the hand refusing to move

I saw I seeing the mouth,the hands and the body

Oh,Sri Samkara!!!

 

I now know I am not the body

but

I do not know who is the I

I do not know who created the I

But

I know when you watch the watcher

There is neither pain nor the feeling of pain

Oh, Sri Samkara!!!Oh, Sri Samkara!!!Oh, Sri Samkara!!!

 

 

 

On Sat, 06 Sep 2003 mazie_l wrote :

>

>I cannot breathe deeply

>in this dreamland of dual D'Oh-dom.

>

>It's not enough to know or understand

>what San or Dan are saying.

>

>Like Vicki said one day,

>something about the relevance of advaita

>and the day to day heartbreak of watching

>a loved one's bodily deterioration

>and death's instruction becomes

>more real, nearer and clearly moreso than ever.

>

>Man oh man! And we think we cannot possibly

>deal with any of this.

>Whatever it is that presents

>as angst and awe that we claw at

>and that makes us feel

>like we're inmates,

>incarcerated in intractable pain

>and all we can do to pass the day,

>to get us through the night

>is to gnaw

>on our spirit chains.

>

>It doesn't want to fit.

>The situation doesn't seem to hit me hard enough,

>and still, I go dumb and numb.

>

>I cannot find amelioration in awe, pshaw. . .

>

>I can too, I can find You in this.

>Even when the Kiss is so cold

>I feel like a mummy wrapped blind with time,

>I can find that, that THING,

>a calmness which comes and yes,

>I guess I'm sounding sort of crazy.

>

>I somehow forgot and thought

>that what Lalla wrote, I knew.

>I thought I knew.

>I knew a lot. I got a lot.

>

>Not!

>

>Unsheathed nerves and a "can't breathe"

>happenstance-circumstance

>can be the knife that slices deep,

>deep into the eye

>of this enthralled hurricane,

>this stormfront of mine

>called quaintly, quirkily

>by my multi-media taskforce -

>

>"I."

>

>

>Love,

>

>Mazie

>

>

>

>

>------------------------ Sponsor

>

>/join

>

>

>

>

>

>"Love itself is the actual form of God."

>

>Sri Ramana

>

>In "Letters from Sri Ramanasramam" by Suri Nagamma

>

>Your use of is subject to

>

>

>

 

_

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