Zenbob/Sam/Dirk's parrot humor/ was No religion higher than Truth, no Power greater than Love

[Guest guest]

Thanks Sam. Here is some

humor from one of the great Sages of the Sangha, Sri Dirk Hauter

Mahatama Swami Prince.

Glad you like the poem Zenbob. We love you!

Harsha

****************************

One day a man went to an

auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He

really wanted this bird, so he

got caught up in the bidding. He kept on

bidding, but kept getting outbid,

so he bid higher and higher and higher.

Finally, after he bid way more

than he intended, he won the bid - the

parrot was his at last!

As he was paying for the

parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope

this parrot can talk. I would

hate to have paid this much for it, only to

find out that he can't talk!"

"Don't worry." said the

Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept

bidding against you?"

***********

There was a man who

traveled all around the world. Every city he

stopped in he would buy something

for his mother and send it to her. On one

such stop he found a parrot that

spoke thirty different languages. He

immediately bought it and sent it

home to his mother.

A few days later he

calls his mother. "Did you like the parrot?" he

asked her. "Oh yes," she

replied. "It was delicious." "WHAT!" the man

cried. "You ate it! That parrot

wasn't for you to eat! It spoke thirty

languages!" The mother paused

for a moment and then said, "So why didn't he

say something?"

*************

So there's this fella with a

parrot. And this parrot swears like a

sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He

can swear for five minutes straight

without repeating himself.

Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet,

conservative type, and this

bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One

day, it gets to be too much, so

the guy grabs the bird by the throat,

shakes him really hard, and

yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the

bird mad and he swears more than

ever. Then the guy gets mad and says,

"OK for you." and locks the bird

in a kitchen cabinet. This really

aggravates the bird and he claws

and scratches, and when the guy finally

lets him out, the bird cuts loose

with a stream of vulgarities that

would make a veteran sailor blush.

At that point, the guy is so

mad that he throws the bird into the

freezer. For the first few

seconds there is a terrible din. The bird

kicks and claws and thrashes.

Then it suddenly gets _very_ quiet. At

first the guy just waits, but

then he starts to think that the bird may

be hurt. After a couple of

minutes of silence, he's so worried that he

opens up the freezer door.

The bird calmly climbs onto

the man's outstretched arm and says,

"Awfully sorry about the trouble

I gave you. I'll do my best to improve

my vocabulary from now on."

The man is astounded. He can't

understand the transformation that has

come over the parrot. Then the

parrot says, "By the way, what did the

chicken do?"

************

A preacher stood up in front of

his congregation on Sunday morning, looking really down in the mouth.

He announced "I have heard

some very disturbing rumors about me this past week and I feel I must

address them this morning. I heard that one of my congregation has

been going around saying that I am a member of the Ku Klux Klan. This

simply is untrue and I would like the member who has been telling this

fabrication to please stand and confess this lie to the congregation!"

After a few minutes, a

shapely blonde in the front pew timidly

stands up and looks around at the

congregation. "I just don't know how my conversation got so

misconstrued!", she stated, "All I said was, the preacher is a wizard

under the sheets."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam wrote:

-----

Original Message -----

 

Harsha

To:

Sent:

Wednesday, October 01, 2003 2:32 PM

Subject:

Re: No religion higher than Truth, no Power greater

than Love

bhuvan eswar chilukuri wrote:

Respected Sir,

Thank you very much for this valuable post which is refreshing the

soul and the ear and the mind!!!

God bless you for sending such posts!!!

Glory be to Sri Harsha and His Satsangh!!!

Thank you Sri Chilukuriji.

Glory be to the Sangha.

On the other hand, I like being a regular guy.

So let's not get too carried away here! :-).

Glory be to friendship and love.

Love to all

Harsha

Thanks for the grin Harsha.. : - ) =

(monkey doing namaste)