A Letter to Myself

[Guest guest]

Hello DearHearts, Kheyala, Vicki, Harsha & John,

The "Doubting Tamas" story brought forth to my mind in a most pleasant

memory, the reading (many times over) of several books by a writer

known as "May Sarton." She was both poet and journalist. Her poetry

never really did much for me, but I really enjoyed her journals, such

as "Journal of a Solitude,The House by the Sea," and "At Seventy."

Also, the book she wrote so beautifully called, "Plant Dreaming

Deep."

In her journals, she speaks of her everday life, her own Layman Pang

version of May Sarton. May wrote of her gardening, her food, her

friends and her inner struggles with her need for companionship (she

was lesbian) and her need to be alone and unhindered, (she was

actually quite selfish and sometimes cruel, but then, who has not

been at times) and she wrote of her associations and friendships with

the Huxleys, with Carolyn Heilbrun, Louise Bogan and her lifelong

companion, friend and one-time Lover, Judith Matlack and a host of

other well-know European writers and bohemians.

 

The reason the story "Doubting Tamas" brought forth memories of

reading May Sarton was that her beloved dog was named "Tamas." He was

a beautiful and bright Sheltie. She loved him and her cats in ways she

could not love humans, or so it appeared. I have many beings like her

with this attitude and ability stringency.

 

Here's a hunk from a googled bit about May Sarton:

 

"With the reissue in 1974 of her novel Mrs. Stevens Hears the Mermaids

Singing in which Carolyn Heilbrun contributed an important

introduction, Sarton's work gained renewed recognition, especially by

feminist critics. Her novel A Reckoning, published the same year,

foreshadowed her own impending battle with cancer.

The decade of the seventies ended with the production of the film

World of Light: A Portrait of May Sarton, produced by Martha Wheelock

and Marita Simpson. Filmed in her house by the sea, described so

eloquently in the 1977 journal by the same name, Sarton talks about

her vision of life, her work and the muses who influenced her.

Familiar themes such as solitude, poetry, the natural world, and love

in its many forms are all here. Unbeknownst to its producers though,

at the time this film was being made, Sarton was facing a mastectomy

which was performed shortly after the film's completion. This surgery

ushered in the beginning of serious physical challenges, which

intensified during the next decade.

Ironically, despite these circumstances, the 1980s were to be years of

great productivity and acclaim. She discovered the thrill of

"standing-room only" crowds at poetry readings and her readership

grew dramatically. Also in 1980, a new book of poems Halfway to

Silence and another journal Recovering appeared. In 1981 she

collected some of her essays on the art and craft of writing,

published by Puckerbrush Press as Writings on Writing. Included are

the important pieces, "The Writing of a Poem" (1957) and "The Design

of a Novel" (1963) previously delivered as addresses at Scripps

College and published in pamphlet form by that university.

1982 brought the death of Judith Matlack. Theirs had been rich years

together and her loss was keenly felt. Years later Sarton expressed

the depth of her feelings for Matlack in a special edition

publication entitled Honey in the Hive, consisting of poems and

writings by Matlack with Sarton's comments interspersed. It was

through Matlack's own writings, which Sarton had not seen before

Matlack's death, that she more fully realized how complex this

wonderful woman had been, and what a rich, secret self she had

possessed."

"As the decade closed, Sarton moved from being "halfway to silence" to

experiencing a greater silence expressed in poems in The Silence Now.

The absence and death of beloved friends and animals would push her

towards the "country of old-age." Nevertheless the decade closed with

the first of a new wave of important critical works which would appear

in the 1990s. Elizabeth Evans' May Sarton Revisited published in 1989

opened the door to further critical studies as well as the

publication, for the first time, of an anthology of collected works,

Sarton Selected (1991) edited by Bradford Dudley Daziel. Excerpts

from the journals, memoirs, novels and selected poems were introduced

to new readers and re-introduced to faithful followers. An expanded

edition of her collected poetry also appeared in 1994, covering the

years 1930 to 1993. Other major critical works followed: That Great

Sanity: Critical Essays on May Sarton, edited by Susan Schwartzlander

and Marilyn R. Mumford and A House of Gathering: Poets on May Sarton's

Poetry, edited by Marilyn Kallet both of which came out in 1993. A

national conference, "May Sarton at Eighty: A Celebration of Her Life

and Work," was held at Westbrook College/University of New England. A

Celebration For May Sarton (1994), a collection of selected essays

presented at the conference, was edited and published by Constance

Hunting.

As a result of the stroke and its consequences, by 1990 Sarton found

herself unable to write or even concentrate, a state which lasted for

months. Gradually she began to experience periods of strength and the

drive to create began to stir in her again. Both writing or typing

were difficult so she turned to a tape recorder and her journal

Endgame: A Journal of the Seventy-Ninth Year (1992) was recorded and

transcribed from a cassette. Although she became increasingly

dependent in certain outward ways, she refused to lose her

independence. Endgame was followed by an even stronger Sarton

dictating her 1993 journal Encore: A Journal of the Eightieth Year.

In this affirmative work she once again celebrates her life, in spite

of the many limitations imposed by what she now refers to as old age.

Poetry had returned, resulting in a last volume of verse Coming Into

Eighty. Many of the poems, in which Sarton radically changed her

form, had earlier appeared in Poetry magazine which awarded her the

Levinson Prize for Poetry in 1993. Sarton's final book, At

Eighty-Two: A Journal, published posthumously in 1995, covers the

year from July, 1993 to August, 1994. Although she admits she is a

"stranger in the land of old age," as she struggles with daily

setbacks, there is still her intense love for life and all its

challenges.

Photograph provided by Susan Sherman; prepared for on-line use by Chris Thompson

 

"Many friends, near and far, communicated with and helped May Sarton

in the final years of her life, but one stands out among these: Susan

Sherman, to whom Sarton's journal Encore is dedicated. Her loving care

included not only preparing meals, bringing flowers, reading, and

sharing movies, but as editor of Sarton's collected letters, she was

involved in working on and planning for the eventual publication of

the vast body of Sarton's letters and unpublished poems. Ms. Sherman

provided a quality to Sarton's life which had, through illness and

pain, been diminished. As a gift for her eightieth birthday, Sherman

produced a remarkable festschrift, Forward Into the Past, which

assembled tributes from sixty-seven professional and intimate

friends, many of whom Sarton knew from the 1930s, like Sir John

Summerson and Irene Sharaff. Sherman published the first of her

Sarton projects in 1993, May Sarton Among the Usual Days and later,

the first volume of a projected multi-volume set of letters entitled

May Sarton: Selected Letters, 1916-1954. In 1999 W. W. Norton will

publish Dear Juliette, Sarton's letters to Juliette Huxley, "the most

enduring muse of her life" according to Sherman. Sarton had first met

the Huxleys in the 1930s while visiting England and from this first

meeting their relationship developed. Although interrupted by years

of silence and misunderstanding, their correspondence resumed in the

1970s and Sarton was finally reconciled with Juliette whom she had

never stopped loving.

Susan Sherman's devotion to May Sarton, the woman and the writer, is

most poignantly depicted in the video Signs of Love: Honoring the

Final Voyage produced by the University of New England. In it Sherman

talks about Sarton's experiences as she moved towards death. In

Sherman's words, "I think in a very important way May was ready to

die. But the truth is, she was not ready to stop living. . ."

During her lifetime Sarton rued the fact that for most of her writing

life, the major critics and the literary establishment had ignored or

dismissed her work. The massive number of letters she received each

week from her "fans" could not assuage the hurt over this neglect and

yet even now after her death, more than forty of Sarton's books are

still in print; Journal of a Solitude has never gone out of print

since it was first published in 1973. Critical recognition, having

come late in her life, has grown and will continue to grow into the

future, positioning May Sarton in her rightful place in literary

history."

Lenora P. BlouinSan Jose, California1999

Okay, end of the Age of Egads! Dronagement! But seriosuly, laughably,

the "Doubting Tamas" tale led to all this Sarton revelry and

merriment for me!

"We are able to laugh when we achieve detachment, if only for a moment."

 

~May Sarton

"The minute one utters a certainty, the opposite comes to mind."

 

~May Sarton, "Mrs. Stevens Hears the Mermaids Singing, " 1965

Kheyala: Mazie and b came over to Rasa Ranch for the weekend in order

to celebrate Ananda's birthday with us. Mazie and I talked about you.

We agreed enthusiastically about what a trailblazer and inspiration

you have been for the both of us, and goodness only knows how many

others.

Yes, and it was marvelous fun! Speaking from our Hearts about Vivki

(again with the Vivki! See, I told you Vicki, I always write Vivki

first!) we were happy-glad and fulfilled, buoyed in Light-Joyousness

with our sense of Kinship with Vicki and with her, (and ours too)

Dear Bob, and it was all we could do not to fall into one another's

arms and sob at the Grace that brought Vicki and Bob into our lives.

I sit at this desk and like Vicki has shared, I have on occasion,

pressed my face or my palm lovingly, weeping-gladly against the

screen and into the pixels of particularity, connected in all ways

that I know and most that I don't, with them, with their Heart and

Mind, and Spirit-Kiss we do, are done in....done as so Sweetly.

Vicki, she's our Touchstone, our Moon-Viewing Room, our Bhavic

BalleyHoo of "Baby, it sure ain't what we thought It would be!"

Kheyala: As always, dear friend, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

There is so much love! So much. Kheyala

M: Yassir, Yessire, Yeppums, YezYezYes...Ummm, Yes, I'm a'

guessin'.Harsha: Yes Vicki. In all our thoughts and prayers.It's

wonderful that Mazie and B came over to your house called Rasa

Ranch!Feels good and warm that friendships can be formed and nurtured

this wayamong the sangha members.Nice to read from you John.Wishing

you all well.Lots of love to allHarsha

Mazie: Meeting our Beautiful friends, these Cyber-blends of OneHeart,

Kheyala, Cee, Christiana, Hilary, and a host of others not recognized

as members of this list, we have been blessed to be able to meet in

person. Wouldn't it be just wonderful if all of us here at Harsha's

could plan another get-together like the one I read about and saw the

pictures from when I first joined this list? Glo, Harsha, Andrew,

Greg, so many, so many flower-faces to explore and Adore....

 

~ Jan

~Bob & Vicki

~Zenbob

~Shawn

~David

~ Glo & Son Joe

~Antoine & Andrew

~Happy-Faced Harshaji

And of course, and not least and not last, not first and not past, Sri

Bhagavan will be among us all -

In the inmost core, the HeartShines as Brahman alone,As 'I - I', the

Self aware.Enter deep into the HeartBy search for Self, or diving

deepOr with breath under check.Thus abide ever in Atman.(Ramana Gita,

ch.ii, v 2)

LoveAlways,

Mazie Groove on the latest from the hot new rock groups! Get downloads, videos, and more here.

[Guest guest]

, "Mazie Lane" <sraddha54@h...> wrote:

> Dear Mazie,

 

I have done nothing to deserve the cascade of compliments (that is your

nature, to be profuse and I, terse. Whaddya gonna do.....

 

I seem to write from the hip and according to Bob (and it appears that he and I

are joined there), sometimes I would do better to think before I speak.

 

I know May Sarton's work. My sister gave me House by the Sea not too long

after our daughter died. I went through an Emily Dickinson sort of time, which

turned out to be permanent--in which I read extensively, especially about

sensitive souls undergoing torment. I kvetch a little more than them. I can't

imagine May or Emily going through a bag of peanut M & M's intended for a

husband....oh, well.

 

Kidding aside, when someone actually likes what I write, I am most grateful.

In person I am just another bump on a pickle and prefer it that way. Being

anxiety-ridden and Spartan, I avoid any real contact with normal human

beings. I often think that if my life had been not so sorrow-filled, I could

have become a female Dave Barry. I could write about nondual boogers up

nondual nostrils. See, I am trying, like any good neurotic, to alienate you by

my kindergarten humor. Has it worked?

 

Love, Vicki