Adventures at Rasa Ranch #144

[Guest guest]

12/01/03

 

Without acting like big bullies, or even acting like big bullies

disguised as caring parents, there was not a thing we could do to get

Ananda to go to sleep last night. As the hours got later, it came to

the point where I said, "Look, if you don't get to sleep now, you are

not going to be able to get up in time for school tomorrow. Don't you

want to go to school?" Her answer surprised me; she honestly didn't

seem to care one way or the other. All I could say was, "Oh."

 

She doesn't want to go to school, I thought. All of the answers she

gave to my probing questions left me with only one impression, and

that was that she had lost interest. Selfishly, I flashed on the

sacrifice of those delicious hours I had to myself, five mornings a

week with the baby. All the hikes... and the writing! But Jim and I

had discussed between us that our children's schooling was not going

to be compulsory. I took a deep breath and there was a surrender to

what was before me. In that, the attachments stopped being attached.

I don't know how else to explain that, but they were gone, and in

their place was joy.

 

Wow, I thought, how would we spend tomorrow? What would *really* turn

her on? It's supposed to pour and Jim would be out working all day...

And then it came to me. In the morning I would drive the children to

the far side of town to Movieland where you could get five movies, for

five days, for five dollars. We'd find everything they had on

dinosaurs, and we'd come home, pop some corn, get cozy and it'd be

great! I was so relaxed after that moment. I didn't care when she

went to bed. And I didn't mind submitting to her requests to playing

cards with her either, even when it was pushing midnight. We just

whispered a lot, that's all.

 

Today went according to plan. Since Ananda had agreed to working

along with me on the days she chose to spend at home rather than in

school, she pitched right in with the chores and we got out of the

house and onto the road without a hitch. When we arrived at

Movieland, we read the backs of the video cases and made decisions

together about which ones were going to feed her soul and which ones

were not. After we made our choices, we created some basic ground

rules about video-watching etiquette, especially regarding being

sensitive to when Zacky was present. The whole thing was a great

success.

 

Now, it's bedtime. While I was writing all this, Jim had gotten last

year's tree down from the attic and assembled it. He left Ananda to

decorate it herself and proudly she pulled my hand as she led me in

to see it. "Oh, sweetheart," I exclaimed, "It looks beautiful! You

did an amazing job. Jim, look at how lovely our little tree looks

now!" It was magical, just magical. At this rate it does not appear

that Ananda will be going to school in the morning.