Guest guest Posted December 22, 2003 Report Share Posted December 22, 2003 Stop playing God and be God. Inside out, upside down, behind, between, beneath the seen I have searched for God. On a little grave marker are these words, "Christ in you the hope of glory." When our daughter was dying, those words had come to me unbidden, so on the marker they went. This fall I stood by her grave again. I was much older and yet I have not learned much that is new, for the truth is ancient and lies within. This Christ within is real, however; I have learned that. Unfortunately, it is neither automatic nor provable. I recognize when my life is pliant and light; when it is dappled with grace and healing. The Christ-fish flits in the waters of my soul. I sometimes sit with sorrow and fight it mightily, using thoughts as if they were potent things, but they are not. Then anger arises and I try to stop it from happening. But beneath the anger, the tears are forming and suddenly I find myself weeping at her grave again. She is not dead; she is risen, but so am I, so am I. My mind will never appreciate this fact, for it deals in death and desertion, doesn't it? You know it does. You know your loneliness haunts you. So does mine. Perhaps when we have let go of all that we hold dear, we will come to a place of mysterious clarity, an evanescent acceptance. In the meantime, I like to talk about where I am and how the fish are biting. Small talk.....just small talk. Vicki Woodyard http://www.bobwoodyard.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2003 Report Share Posted December 22, 2003 You are loved Vicki.. - skiplaurel Tuesday, December 23, 2003 12:39 AM Fish Stop playing God and be God.Inside out, upside down, behind, between, beneath the seenI have searched for God.On a little grave marker are these words, "Christ in you the hope of glory." When our daughter was dying, those words had come to me unbidden, so on the marker they went. This fall I stood by her grave again. I was much older and yet I have not learned much that is new, for the truth is ancient and lies within.This Christ within is real, however; I have learned that. Unfortunately, it is neither automatic nor provable. I recognize when my life is pliant and light; when it is dappled with grace and healing. The Christ-fish flits in the waters of my soul.I sometimes sit with sorrow and fight it mightily, using thoughts as if they were potent things, but they are not. Then anger arises and I try to stop it from happening. But beneath the anger, the tears are forming and suddenly I find myself weeping at her grave again.She is not dead; she is risen, but so am I, so am I. My mind will never appreciate this fact, for it deals in death and desertion, doesn't it? You know it does. You know your loneliness haunts you. So does mine.Perhaps when we have let go of all that we hold dear, we will come to a place of mysterious clarity, an evanescent acceptance. In the meantime, I like to talk about where I am and how the fish are biting. Small talk.....just small talk.Vicki Woodyardhttp://www.bobwoodyard.com/join "Love itself is the actual form of God."Sri RamanaIn "Letters from Sri Ramanasramam" by Suri Nagamma To visit your group on the web, go to:/ To from this group, send an email to: Your use of Groups is subject to the Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 , "skiplaurel" <vicki@b...> wrote: Dearest DearHeart, Beautiful, Dear Vicki, You can so finely fillet my Heart, so boldy and succinctly serve up a bloodless coup of my "BooHooHoo," and Vivki, Vicki, Dear and treasured Friend, you MOVE me so... "Weeping may endure for a night, but Joy cometh in the morning." Thank You. Oh so very much, this Thank You, my HeartShine Sutra SweetHeart! Love, LovingYou, LovetoYou, Beloved Vicki, Mazie > Stop playing God and be God. Inside out, upside down, behind, between, beneath the seen I have searched for God. On a little grave marker are these words, "Christ in you the hope of glory." When our daughter was dying, those words had come to me unbidden, so on the marker they went. This fall I stood by her grave again. I was much older and yet I have not learned much that is new, for the truth is ancient and lies within. > > This Christ within is real, however; I have learned that. Unfortunately, it is neither automatic nor provable. I recognize when my life is pliant and light; when it is dappled with grace and healing. The Christ-fish flits in the waters of my soul. > > I sometimes sit with sorrow and fight it mightily, using thoughts as if they were potent things, but they are not. Then anger arises and I try to stop it from happening. But beneath the anger, the tears are forming and suddenly I find myself weeping at her grave again. > > She is not dead; she is risen, but so am I, so am I. My mind will never appreciate this fact, for it deals in death and desertion, doesn't it? You know it does. You know your loneliness haunts you. So does mine. > > Perhaps when we have let go of all that we hold dear, we will come to a place of mysterious clarity, an evanescent acceptance. In the meantime, I like to talk about where I am and how the fish are biting. Small talk.....just small talk. > > Vicki Woodyard > http://www.bobwoodyard.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 , "mazie_l" <sraddha54@h...> wrote: > , "skiplaurel" <vicki@b...> > wrote: > > > Dearest DearHeart, Beautiful, Dear Vicki, > > You can so finely fillet my Heart, so boldy and succinctly serve up a > bloodless coup of my "BooHooHoo," and Vivki, Vicki, Dear and > treasured Friend, you MOVE me so... > > "Weeping may endure for a night, but Joy cometh in the morning." > > Thank You. > Oh so very much, this Thank You, my HeartShine Sutra SweetHeart! > > > Love, LovingYou, LovetoYou, Beloved Vicki, > > Mazie Dear Mazie, I am so tired. Bob is trying to get enrolled in a trial drug study and we had to drive a long way to the doctor's office. Doctor had to collect a lot of history and then had to draw blood and worst of all, do a difficult bone marrow aspiration on Bob. Lunch was late and in a tiny hospital coffee shop, but what energy! Nancy's Place, it was called, and you with your bhakti would love the vibes there. As broken as I am and getting more so, there is nothing as important as good energy. I told her so and she was so pleased and of course, people tell her all the time. We ate chicken salad before getting in the long, trafficky drive home. Once there, we checked messages and collapsed. Christmas Eve is tomorrow and I am just grateful that Bob is alive. Monday we will be back at the office for him to do more labs and Tuesday on to another hospital for bone studies and eeg. In the meantime, I have to make dressing, etc. for Christmas dinner. What is my point? Those of us who suffer...which is most of us, but especially Harsha and his father, you with your r.a......know how difficult each day can be. Who is better qualified than us to speak of nonduality? I feel like I have earned my stripes the hard way, don't you? Spirituality is not some airy fairy speculative thing, but blood, sweat, tears and then more blood, sweat and tears. The way of the cross is here, now and vertical. My deepest good wishes to your loving heart, Miss Mazie. Love, Vicki > > > > > Stop playing God and be God. > > Inside out, upside down, behind, between, beneath the seen > I have searched for God. > > On a little grave marker are these words, "Christ in you the hope of > glory." When our daughter was dying, those words had come to me > unbidden, so on the marker they went. This fall I stood by her grave > again. I was much older and yet I have not learned much that is new, > for the truth is ancient and lies within. > > > > This Christ within is real, however; I have learned that. > Unfortunately, it is neither automatic nor provable. I recognize > when my life is pliant and light; when it is dappled with grace and > healing. The Christ-fish flits in the waters of my soul. > > > > I sometimes sit with sorrow and fight it mightily, using thoughts > as if they were potent things, but they are not. Then anger arises > and I try to stop it from happening. But beneath the anger, the > tears are forming and suddenly I find myself weeping at her grave > again. > > > > She is not dead; she is risen, but so am I, so am I. My mind will > never appreciate this fact, for it deals in death and desertion, > doesn't it? You know it does. You know your loneliness haunts you. > So does mine. > > > > Perhaps when we have let go of all that we hold dear, we will come > to a place of mysterious clarity, an evanescent acceptance. In the > meantime, I like to talk about where I am and how the fish are > biting. Small talk.....just small talk. > > > > Vicki Woodyard > > http://www.bobwoodyard.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 , "skiplaurel" <vicki@b...> wrote: > , "mazie_l" <sraddha54@h...> > wrote: > > , "skiplaurel" <vicki@b...> > > wrote: > > > > > > Dearest DearHeart, Beautiful, Dear Vicki, > > > > You can so finely fillet my Heart, so boldy and succinctly serve up > a > > bloodless coup of my "BooHooHoo," and Vivki, Vicki, Dear and > > treasured Friend, you MOVE me so... > > > > "Weeping may endure for a night, but Joy cometh in the morning." > > > > Thank You. > > Oh so very much, this Thank You, my HeartShine Sutra SweetHeart! > > > > > > Love, LovingYou, LovetoYou, Beloved Vicki, > > > > Mazie > > Dear Mazie, > > I am so tired. Bob is trying to get enrolled in a trial drug study > and we had to drive a long way to the doctor's office. Doctor had to > collect a lot of history and then had to draw blood and worst of all, > do a difficult bone marrow aspiration on Bob. Lunch was late and in > a tiny hospital coffee shop, but what energy! Nancy's Place, it was > called, and you with your bhakti would love the vibes there. As > broken as I am and getting more so, there is nothing as important as > good energy. I told her so and she was so pleased and of course, > people tell her all the time. We ate chicken salad before getting in > the long, trafficky drive home. Once there, we checked messages and > collapsed. Christmas Eve is tomorrow and I am just grateful that Bob > is alive. Monday we will be back at the office for him to do more > labs and Tuesday on to another hospital for bone studies and eeg. In > the meantime, I have to make dressing, etc. for Christmas dinner. > > What is my point? Those of us who suffer...which is most of us, but > especially Harsha and his father, you with your r.a......know how > difficult each day can be. Who is better qualified than us to speak > of nonduality? I feel like I have earned my stripes the hard way, > don't you? Spirituality is not some airy fairy speculative thing, > but blood, sweat, tears and then more blood, sweat and tears. > > The way of the cross is here, now and vertical. > > My deepest good wishes to your loving heart, Miss Mazie. > > Love, Vicki Dear Vicki, Is nonduality something that can be earned by suffering? Sincerely asking, Kheyala Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 , "kheyalove" <kheyala@n...> wrote: > , "skiplaurel" <vicki@b...> > wrote: > > , "mazie_l" <sraddha54@h...> > > wrote: > > > , "skiplaurel" <vicki@b...> > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > Dearest DearHeart, Beautiful, Dear Vicki, > > > > > > You can so finely fillet my Heart, so boldy and succinctly serve > up > > a > > > bloodless coup of my "BooHooHoo," and Vivki, Vicki, Dear and > > > treasured Friend, you MOVE me so... > > > > > > "Weeping may endure for a night, but Joy cometh in the morning." > > > > > > Thank You. > > > Oh so very much, this Thank You, my HeartShine Sutra SweetHeart! > > > > > > > > > Love, LovingYou, LovetoYou, Beloved Vicki, > > > > > > Mazie > > > > Dear Mazie, > > > > I am so tired. Bob is trying to get enrolled in a trial drug study > > and we had to drive a long way to the doctor's office. Doctor had > to > > collect a lot of history and then had to draw blood and worst of > all, > > do a difficult bone marrow aspiration on Bob. Lunch was late and in > > a tiny hospital coffee shop, but what energy! Nancy's Place, it was > > called, and you with your bhakti would love the vibes there. As > > broken as I am and getting more so, there is nothing as important as > > good energy. I told her so and she was so pleased and of course, > > people tell her all the time. We ate chicken salad before getting > in > > the long, trafficky drive home. Once there, we checked messages and > > collapsed. Christmas Eve is tomorrow and I am just grateful that > Bob > > is alive. Monday we will be back at the office for him to do more > > labs and Tuesday on to another hospital for bone studies and eeg. > In > > the meantime, I have to make dressing, etc. for Christmas dinner. > > > > What is my point? Those of us who suffer...which is most of us, but > > especially Harsha and his father, you with your r.a......know how > > difficult each day can be. Who is better qualified than us to speak > > of nonduality? I feel like I have earned my stripes the hard way, > > don't you? Spirituality is not some airy fairy speculative thing, > > but blood, sweat, tears and then more blood, sweat and tears. > > > > The way of the cross is here, now and vertical. > > > > My deepest good wishes to your loving heart, Miss Mazie. > > > > Love, Vicki > > > Dear Vicki, > > Is nonduality something that can be earned by suffering? > > > Sincerely asking, > > Kheyala Hi, K...no, of course not and I did not mean to imply that. Let me try again, albeit clumsily; nonduality for me is not a speculative, theoretical subject any longer. It is to be lived. Is that better? Love, Vicki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 Dearest unknown Friends in heart in my humble opinion suffering is necessary to "propel" us into the real how could we proceed otherwise? get rid of all illusions? After going thru all the sufferings we breath the air of real happiness reaching this point we become what we really are always have been without recognizing it pain in every kind is our offering for reaching paradise all my love to you may you be blessed by yourself michael bindel >"skiplaurel" > >To: > Re: Fish >Tue, 23 Dec 2003 21:49:20 -0000 > >--- In , "kheyalove" wrote: > > --- In , "skiplaurel" > > wrote: > > > , "mazie_l" > > > wrote: > > > > , "skiplaurel" > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > Dearest DearHeart, Beautiful, Dear Vicki, > > > > > > > > You can so finely fillet my Heart, so boldy and succinctly serve > > up > > > a > > > > bloodless coup of my "BooHooHoo," and Vivki, Vicki, Dear and > > > > treasured Friend, you MOVE me so... > > > > > > > > "Weeping may endure for a night, but Joy cometh in the morning." > > > > > > > > Thank You. > > > > Oh so very much, this Thank You, my HeartShine Sutra SweetHeart! > > > > > > > > > > > > Love, LovingYou, LovetoYou, Beloved Vicki, > > > > > > > > Mazie > > > > > > Dear Mazie, > > > > > > I am so tired. Bob is trying to get enrolled in a trial drug study > > > and we had to drive a long way to the doctor's office. Doctor had > > to > > > collect a lot of history and then had to draw blood and worst of > > all, > > > do a difficult bone marrow aspiration on Bob. Lunch was late and in > > > a tiny hospital coffee shop, but what energy! Nancy's Place, it was > > > called, and you with your bhakti would love the vibes there. As > > > broken as I am and getting more so, there is nothing as important as > > > good energy. I told her so and she was so pleased and of course, > > > people tell her all the time. We ate chicken salad before getting > > in > > > the long, trafficky drive home. Once there, we checked messages and > > > collapsed. Christmas Eve is tomorrow and I am just grateful that > > Bob > > > is alive. Monday we will be back at the office for him to do more > > > labs and Tuesday on to another hospital for bone studies and eeg. > > In > > > the meantime, I have to make dressing, etc. for Christmas dinner. > > > > > > What is my point? Those of us who suffer...which is most of us, but > > > especially Harsha and his father, you with your r.a......know how > > > difficult each day can be. Who is better qualified than us to speak > > > of nonduality? I feel like I have earned my stripes the hard way, > > > don't you? Spirituality is not some airy fairy speculative thing, > > > but blood, sweat, tears and then more blood, sweat and tears. > > > > > > The way of the cross is here, now and vertical. > > > > > > My deepest good wishes to your loving heart, Miss Mazie. > > > > > > Love, Vicki > > > > > > Dear Vicki, > > > > Is nonduality something that can be earned by suffering? > > > > > > Sincerely asking, > > > > Kheyala > >Hi, K...no, of course not and I did not mean to imply that. Let me try again, albeit clumsily; nonduality for me is not a speculative, theoretical subject any longer. It is to be lived. Is that better? > >Love, Vicki > STOP MORE SPAM with the new MSN 8 and get 2 months FREE* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 Dear Harsha, Vicki, and ALL, My father died 10 years ago around this same time of year. I'm not a kid anymore, and I've seen a lot of friends and relatives die. Sometimes it (death) is better than suffering. But I myself have never known anything but "life". Life is SELF. And "life" seems to be a vibration of the dualities. The wise are not dismayed. Still, it is good to share. And I, having gone through the same situations as ALL, offer ALL a wish for "peace" in our time of trouble. Love, michael --- kheyalove <kheyala wrote: > , "skiplaurel" > <vicki@b...> > wrote: > > , "mazie_l" > <sraddha54@h...> > > wrote: > > > , > "skiplaurel" <vicki@b...> > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > Dearest DearHeart, Beautiful, Dear Vicki, > > > > > > You can so finely fillet my Heart, so boldy and > succinctly serve > up > > a > > > bloodless coup of my "BooHooHoo," and Vivki, > Vicki, Dear and > > > treasured Friend, you MOVE me so... > > > > > > "Weeping may endure for a night, but Joy cometh > in the morning." > > > > > > Thank You. > > > Oh so very much, this Thank You, my HeartShine > Sutra SweetHeart! > > > > > > > > > Love, LovingYou, LovetoYou, Beloved Vicki, > > > > > > Mazie > > > > Dear Mazie, > > > > I am so tired. Bob is trying to get enrolled in a > trial drug study > > and we had to drive a long way to the doctor's > office. Doctor had > to > > collect a lot of history and then had to draw > blood and worst of > all, > > do a difficult bone marrow aspiration on Bob. > Lunch was late and in > > a tiny hospital coffee shop, but what energy! > Nancy's Place, it was > > called, and you with your bhakti would love the > vibes there. As > > broken as I am and getting more so, there is > nothing as important as > > good energy. I told her so and she was so pleased > and of course, > > people tell her all the time. We ate chicken > salad before getting > in > > the long, trafficky drive home. Once there, we > checked messages and > > collapsed. Christmas Eve is tomorrow and I am > just grateful that > Bob > > is alive. Monday we will be back at the office > for him to do more > > labs and Tuesday on to another hospital for bone > studies and eeg. > In > > the meantime, I have to make dressing, etc. for > Christmas dinner. > > > > What is my point? Those of us who suffer...which > is most of us, but > > especially Harsha and his father, you with your > r.a......know how > > difficult each day can be. Who is better > qualified than us to speak > > of nonduality? I feel like I have earned my > stripes the hard way, > > don't you? Spirituality is not some airy fairy > speculative thing, > > but blood, sweat, tears and then more blood, sweat > and tears. > > > > The way of the cross is here, now and vertical. > > > > My deepest good wishes to your loving heart, Miss > Mazie. > > > > Love, Vicki > > > Dear Vicki, > > Is nonduality something that can be earned by > suffering? > > > Sincerely asking, > > Kheyala > > > > > > > > > > > > New Photos - easier uploading and sharing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 Thank you! Love, michael --- MICHAEL BINDEL <michael_bindel wrote: Dearest unknown Friends in heart in my humble opinion suffering is necessary to "propel" us into the real how could we proceed otherwise? get rid of all illusions? After going thru all the sufferings we breath the air of real happiness reaching this point we become what we really are always have been without recognizing it pain in every kind is our offering for reaching paradise all my love to you may you be blessed by yourself michael bindel >"skiplaurel" > > > Re: Fish >Tue, 23 Dec 2003 21:49:20 -0000 > >, "kheyalove" wrote: > > , "skiplaurel" > > wrote: > > > , "mazie_l" > > > wrote: > > > > , "skiplaurel" > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > Dearest DearHeart, Beautiful, Dear Vicki, > > > > > > > > You can so finely fillet my Heart, so boldy and succinctly serve > > up > > > a > > > > bloodless coup of my "BooHooHoo," and Vivki, Vicki, Dear and > > > > treasured Friend, you MOVE me so... > > > > > > > > "Weeping may endure for a night, but Joy cometh in the morning." > > > > > > > > Thank You. > > > > Oh so very much, this Thank You, my HeartShine Sutra SweetHeart! > > > > > > > > > > > > Love, LovingYou, LovetoYou, Beloved Vicki, > > > > > > > > Mazie > > > > > > Dear Mazie, > > > > > > I am so tired. Bob is trying to get enrolled in a trial drug study > > > and we had to drive a long way to the doctor's office. Doctor had > > to > > > collect a lot of history and then had to draw blood and worst of > > all, > > > do a difficult bone marrow aspiration on Bob. Lunch was late and in > > > a tiny hospital coffee shop, but what energy! Nancy's Place, it was > > > called, and you with your bhakti would love the vibes there. As > > > broken as I am and getting more so, there is nothing as important as > > > good energy. I told her so and she was so pleased and of course, > > > people tell her all the time. We ate chicken salad before getting > > in > > > the long, trafficky drive home. Once there, we checked messages and > > > collapsed. Christmas Eve is tomorrow and I am just grateful that > > Bob > > > is alive. Monday we will be back at the office for him to do more > > > labs and Tuesday on to another hospital for bone studies and eeg. > > In > > > the meantime, I have to make dressing, etc. for Christmas dinner. > > > > > > What is my point? Those of us who suffer...which is most of us, but > > > especially Harsha and his father, you with your r.a......know how > > > difficult each day can be. Who is better qualified than us to speak > > > of nonduality? I feel like I have earned my stripes the hard way, > > > don't you? Spirituality is not some airy fairy speculative thing, > > > but blood, sweat, tears and then more blood, sweat and tears. > > > > > > The way of the cross is here, now and vertical. > > > > > > My deepest good wishes to your loving heart, Miss Mazie. > > > > > > Love, Vicki > > > > > > Dear Vicki, > > > > Is nonduality something that can be earned by suffering? > > > > > > Sincerely asking, > > > > Kheyala > >Hi, K...no, of course not and I did not mean to imply that. Let me try again, albeit clumsily; nonduality for me is not a speculative, theoretical subject any longer. It is to be lived. Is that better? > >Love, Vicki > STOP MORE SPAM with the new MSN 8 and get 2 months FREE* /join "Love itself is the actual form of God." Sri Ramana In "Letters from Sri Ramanasramam" by Suri Nagamma / Terms of Service. New Photos - easier uploading and sharing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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