Never Ask the Mind

[Guest guest]

Never Ask the Mind

 

One of the deepest teachings that I have ever been given is this, "Never ask the

mind." When I was studying with Vernon Howard, I became friends with his

long-time secretary. She gave me this piece of advice towards the end of her

life. Like Vernon, she had cancer and never spoke of it. That was their way.

She looked tired and pale the last few years of her life; it was understood that

the work she was doing would go on regardless of how she felt.

 

The advice happened like this. Bob and I had flown out west to visit her and

attend classes. We were taking her out to dinner and I asked about one of the

students who visited from time to time. She made an unflattering comment about

them (she never minced words) and I found myself asking her a "why did you say

that" sort of question.

She turned to Bob and said, "Is she always like this? Asking why..why...why. "

 

I had been rebuked by the best. Like Vernon, she was far more concerned with my

level of being than my level of comfort. She had the chance to teach me, so

teach me she did.

 

I squirmed and tried to defend myself, to pass my curiosity off as a joke. I

have always known that I am too curious, a Scorpio of the first water. My

mother calls it my "curiosity bump."

 

The rest of the evening left me squelched and miserable. The next morning after

class I apologized to her as we sat at a long table during the break. She

looked at me with unfathomable eyes and said clearly, "I'm shocked that I upset

you. I must be turning into a cranky old woman."

 

I assured her that she was on the mark and that I appreciated her honesty even

though it stung. She was passing on the teaching and truly didn't remember

having done so. She just said, "Never ask the mind." She left the body soon

after that. She never told me good bye. She died the day after John Kennedy,

Jr. went down in the plane. It was one of the saddest weeks of my life.

 

Almost five years have gone by since she offered me the jewel of "Never ask the

mind." I am just now beginning to see the depths of such a statement. My love

for her is undiminished and yet I feel that I have let her down. I am still too

curious for my own good and certainly have much work to do on myself. If I told

her that, she would just say that she herself had far to go. That is the way of

those who know.

[Guest guest]

, "skiplaurel" <vicki@b...>

wrote:

> Never Ask the Mind

\

 

Namaste,

 

Yes that is like looking for a hare's horn........ONS..Tony

[Guest guest]

, "Tony OClery" <aoclery> wrote:

> , "skiplaurel" <vicki@b...>

> wrote:

> > Never Ask the Mind

> \

>

> Namaste,

>

> Yes that is like looking for a hare's horn........ONS..Tony

 

Sadly, that is what we do best. I watched the Mel Gibson interview last night

and applauded him for standing his ground. The media can are so busy looking

for the horn they don't notice they are wearing them ;-)

 

Christ Himself did not discuss His teachings with His detractors. Why should

Mel Gibson? Because the media demands it? I also liked that he admitted he was

surfeited, sated and everything in between and saw that nothing but suicidal

depression came of it.

 

Rock on, Mel. I don't plan on seeing the movie due to its violence. But I did

like the fact that Gibson kept his own council and did not give it away to an

attractive blonde interviewer. I like Diane Sawyer as a rule, but she played

Devil's Advocate in a way which disturbed me.

[Guest guest]

, "skiplaurel" <vicki@b...>

wrote:

> , "Tony OClery"

<aoclery> wrote:

> > , "skiplaurel" <vicki@b...>

> > wrote:

> > > Never Ask the Mind

> > \

> >

> > Namaste,

> >

> > Yes that is like looking for a hare's horn........ONS..Tony

>

> Sadly, that is what we do best.> Rock on, Mel. I don't plan on

seeing the movie due to its violence.

 

Namaste S,

 

If the violence is essential to the story, why have an aversion to

it. An aversion is an attachment but in reverse...IMO...ONS..Tony

[Guest guest]

, "viorica weissman" <viorica@z...> wrote:

> > Never Ask the Mind

> >

> > One of the deepest teachings that I have ever been given is

> this, "Never ask the mind." When I was studying with Vernon Howard,

> I became friends with his long-time secretary. She gave me this

> piece of advice towards the end of her life. Like Vernon, she had

> cancer and never spoke of it. That was their way.

>

>

> I have a very close friend who has cancer and goes to chemo every two

> weeks, she talks about it, cries a lot and suffers like hell. That

> is her way. And I talk with her several times a day. I hoped once

> when all this started that we shall talk about Ramana Maharshi's

> teaching during our talks, that she will love him, that she will be

> drawn to him, that she she will find comfort in him so on. I hoped.

> Wrong. I used to get impatient why isn't she starting reading the

> Talks, why is she postponing it, why is she complaining of this or

> that, why doesn't she find her peace between those chemo and talk to

> me like the friend she used to me. Several months ago I thought what

> about dignity? Ah, dignity in front of cancer of death! well, what

> about it?! In one of our talks she said to me once, "you know,

> I talked with my cousin's wife, she told me her best friend has

> cancer and she proves no dignity at all". So I said to myself,

> "that's what I deserve, thanks God I didn't bring my preaches about

> dignity in". Ok. So I solved my problem. My friend doesn't have to

> read Talks, doesn't have to talk with me about Ramana Maharshi

> and she can prove no dignity at all in front of cancer and death.

> Let it be without dignity. So when she cries to me I am 'happy'

> I can cry with her for her and let go of that stupid dignity.

> No 'Talks' with Sri Ramana Maharshi. But yes, Talks! Talks about men,

> talks about how stupid I was when I was in love with that idiot

> when I was 19. Sorry friends. When I gave up the "Talks" and we

> started female talks, here we go. We cry and laugh, sometimes with

> dignity and other times without dignity.

> that's it. We still go on like this.

>From Vicki to Vicki--at last we meet not face to face, but heart to heart.

 

Ah....the power of surrender. So you, dear Vicki, surrendered your ideas of "how

it should be" to enter into what is. I, too, cry and rebel against the

sufferings inherent in cancer--only it is second-hand suffering that I do.

Being on the path, I also keep up my spiritual practice. But what does that

amount to without entering the position of another?

 

Besides, we can change nothing, can we? I have lost friends only to find that

solitude is often life-giving when one is drained by daily sufferings. Now I

write my heart out. What you have said both about yourself and your friend is

exactly right. I reunited with my best friend from junior high school this past

summer. She lives in another state and when we call each other, we giggle about

anything and everything. I told her that helps me the most.

 

Sadly, cancer patients are often ditched when the diagnosis is incurable. The

few who remain loyal are the strong ones...the ones who can stand to hear about

the reality cancer is causing you to live in. I have found that strong

weaknesses, as someone called it, are life-affirming. When Bob was first

diagnosed and I was physically ill with grief, I found comfort in telling it

outloud to a few close family members. It changed nothing but it had to be

expressed. So we come again to surrender.

 

My friend Peter is so ill that all he can do is lie in the sun with his cat.

But he is teaching many people by his simple acceptance of what is....

 

Lots of love, Vicki