Tears

[Guest guest]

Tears

 

I have shed an awful lot of tears in my lifetime. Bob and I saw a family

counselor last week (at my insistence). He is as stoic as the next guy, but

every now and then I need a reality check. Does he really have incurable cancer

and are we really doing okay with that? That is a stupid question. No one

"does okay" under those circumstances. You simply do the best you can and on

any given day, you may suddenly crash, ripping right through reality and landing

in a pile of "Oh, God, say it's not so."

 

It is so, and even God is silent on this subject. I, however, got my full

fifty-minutes' worth. We have seen this counselor before and I like the way he

quotes Rumi. I told him about my website and that I worried about being too

introverted. He said a few lines of Rumi, about "I've given you the poems," or

something like that. He makes everything seem perfectly reasonable.

 

Bob said he was concerned about asbestos in our drinking water and the counselor

said, "Maybe you wouldn't feel quite so guilty about being sick if you could

find a reason....." So Bob paid some money to a lab only to be told that no

asbestos was to be found. We live in a neighborhood with far too many cases of

cancer.

 

Every night I take a walk and see reality up close and personal. A white cat

sits on the driveway. A party is going on at the community pool. People are

pruning and planting. Life is good even when it's not. I look at tree bark and

listen to kids playing. I come back in and turn on the television, have

something to eat. Tonight Bob starts back on the drug that gave him seizures;

only now he is on Dilantin. The two of us are tough right in the middle of it

all. Even so, one of us cries more than the other.

 

Vicki Woodyard

http://www.bobwoodyard.com

[Guest guest]

- Michael Bindel Dear Warwick,thank

you for your posting to Vicky.Its great to know this truth INSIDE -

and greater to live accordingly.Live accordingly especially if you

are in deep love with "family".....Living this love and not being

"attached".....tell me about your practical experiences living this

wonderful truth, which I share...In deep respectMichael

Bindel*****************************************************************************Dear

Michael,

thank you for this request.

As they say in the USA, "You can talk the talk but can you walk the walk?"

Firstly, I read books about the truth.

At the moment I am reading a book called The Astavakra Samhita.

I go to a little Spainish coffee shop nearby and, over coffee, I read the text.

I have opened the book at random, now, and this is what I find:

"You are perfect and the same in misery and happiness,

hope and despair,

and life and death.

Therefore, in this way enter into the state of dissolution."

So, in the coffee shop, I contemplate this writing.

Do I treat misery and happiness the same in my daily life?

Or do I try to cultivate happiness and avert misery?

Do I react the same to hope, when it arises, as I do to despair?

Or do I encourage and cultivate hope, and try to get rid of despair?

Do I regard the prospect of life in the same way as I regard the prospect of dying?

And then I try to see how this could happen, that I could

treat these opposites with the same detachment and equanimity.

>From what standpoint could I treat these conditions, happiness and despair,

the same?

With any luck, I will find the knowing arising

that I am not the mind and not the body, but formless, transparent, consciousness.

It will be seen that these varying states of mind necessarily arise, because that's the way life is,

but I will be deep in the transparency from which

it is seen that I am not the mind .

Familiar patterns of hope and despair will arise in front of me.

A kind of balancing act is called for -- allow the emotions to arise fully

and see clearly that "I" is the transparency in which they arise and fall,

and that "I" am not touched by them.

No effort to control them, banish them, for they are part of the

natural order of things in the world of time.

No effort to figure out why or how they happen, they are part and parcel of the life-as-an-ego

that I have been living for 62 years.

Sometimes it happens that the transparency remains and I totally forget what brought it on.

There is a great stillness. My eyes are closed. Sounds arise and fall.

A woosh of a car passing by outside.

The steaming of the coffee machine. Laughter. The crunching of the

coffee grinder. The sound of my breathing.

For me, if time hasn't stopped it is going very, very slowly.

The world continues, as the arising and falling of sensations in the great stillness.

It is very beautiful. The stainless silence allows the sounds to arise

and then disappear without leaving a trace.

There is great contentment.

At the cafe they like me, on the whole, but maybe they think I'm a little crazy.

I come down to the parking lot where I keep my car.

The car has just been to the panel beaters, dents taken out and new paint applied.

It cost a lot but now it gleams.

One of the headlights has been smashed -- broken glass on the ground.

I feel anger arising and the thought arising,

"This is not fair! The bastards! If I knew who they were,

and I had the power, I'd make them pay!"

Then I remember what I've been reading in the cafe.

Is it true, that fortune and misfortune are inevitable?

I see how there is an entrenched habit of throwing fuel on the fires

of anger and the sense of injustice.

But that habit can't bear the light of awareness.

I laugh at my self-importance.

The anger persists for a time, but it doesn't overwhelm me.

In fact, it is an opportunity to be aware of the real "I", which is not touched by these habitual

fluctuations of mood.

The center of it all are the glimpses of my true nature, the formless consciousness.

Many, many old bad habits exist and are continuing under their own momentum.

(Or maybe I encourage them - I hadn't thought of that.)

But friends are helpful.

Joyce, and Harsha, and a few others here in this chatroom, pointed out

to me how I take my opinions personally,

and become upset and angry when opposed. That was very helpful.

It was possible to see, in contrast, that which is not personal, which doesn't get hurt and angry.

Like you, I have been following the events in the news and hoping for certain outcomes.

When things didn't go the way I wanted I got upset.

And I remembered the sayings of the wise ones, about the nature of expectations and disappointment,

and I allowed the anger and disappointment to run its course, without identifying with it.

We all have what we might call our strengths and weaknesses.

I can read difficult books and follow difficult lines of reasoning,

but emotionally I am underdeveloped.

It is not that I have no feelings; I just don't have them balanced.

Going to my true nature allows me, to use a phrase from Francis Lucille,

to co-operate with the divine in the process of re-aligning the bodymind

in accordance with the nature of truth.

And I have a huge amount to learn about the nature of spirit,

and the world, and reality.

The wise ones say that there is nothing that corresponds to the idea we have of "matter"

of "physical stuff". That's a mystery to me. I've spent years

investigating but I still don't get it.

The wise ones say that the universe is constantly being made, destroyed and recreated.

Another mystery.

Well, that's a part of how I live the truth as far as I understand it. How about you?

Much love

Warwick

[Guest guest]

Dear Warwick,

first I would like to thank you for the many beautiful loving posts

that recently came out of your heart.

So much love you are able to express!!

What I would like to share is that my perception of Here and Now

is a little different from what you express here:

for sure the joy is not in the objects that appear in Awareness

but in the very nature of what we are, independently of what forms

appear in it, but:

I feel it is not possible to separate any form from That:

Here and now is not separate from what appears in it

Here and now IS also what appears in it

and each moment is what manifests in that moment and nothing else,

including of course the continuous background on which all appears.

There is no Formless without Forms and there are no Forms

without Formless, they are One Unity (that why in the Buddha's Heart Sutra

"Form is emptiness and emptiness is form")We separate them to be able to speak in a linear language

but Reality is not linear, is all inclusive, paradoxes and all.

I never, never experienced Myself in absence of forms,

even if the most subtle, something is always present,

as a process of limit, like in mathematics, I can say that

there is a formless, an absolute unmanifested, that is my very nature,

but it is just a conceptul abstraction.

When only the absolute unmanifested remains,

who is there to say what?

Whatever we say and perceive is in the world of forms

coexistent, coextensive, compenetrated, communed,

One and the Same with the formless.

The Absolute formless is perceived and lived in the world of forms,

or better is perceiving and living in the world of forms.

Where pure perceiving is happening?

where pure listening is happening?

Where pure awareness of being awareness is happening?

Where are we reflecting back into ourselves?

Only aphorisms and poems can describe That

adimensional and multidimensional in the same time

I am empty

I am full

I am joy

I am null

in My presence

I perceive my absence

in My absence

I realize My presence.

and so on

and so on

this is the song

that nobody sings

because all have left

on their wings

nothing remains

but the scent

of Your Love

enough to melt

all My forms

in tears of joy

Here and now

I love and love

I create all forms

out of Myself

and look estatic

to My own creation

I am a mystery

to myself

what I create

I know that I am

what I don't create

I cannot know

Nothing is more important than anything else

all is an interconnected oneness including Reality and Illusion

only when we don't separate anything we can become, Be, the Body of the Universe.

in love

Marifa

-

Warwick Wakefield

Wednesday, May 26, 2004 7:00 AM

Re: Re: Tears

- skiplaurel To:

Wednesday, May 26, 2004 7:23

AM Re: TearsYes, you have drawn the big

picture...thank you. We are each working on our little corner,

busily drawing solace from "our part" in it...while all the time

Eternity smiles. It cannot do otherwise.The tears are mystery

drops.Love, Vicki**************************************************8

Vicki Dearest,

There is a crucial point I would like to make here.

The beauty of the world, the sowing and the reaping of the harvests,

the exquiste shape and colour of flowers and trees,

the spontaneity of young children;

this is not the what is meant by the joy of "here and now."

The joy of here and now lies not in the objects that you perceive

if your attention is focused on those things that are in front of you, here and now.

This is a huge mistake.

The sacredness, the beauty and the joy of "here and now",

lies in the perception of that which is inside,

not that which is happening, or existing, in front of one.

Therapists have utterly distorted the significance of "here and now."

They have given us to believe that if we pay attention to the things and events

that can be observed "here and now", we will be free from the distress contained in

our minds, and we will be happy.

This is utterly wrong.

The importance of "here and now " is that it is not the realm of things and events,

it is the realm of the unchanging consciousness, which is found within.

Things and events, children at play and birds singing,

although they belong to the "natural world",

still belong to the world of time and form,

and to be focused in the world of time and form,

things and events, no matter how beautiful they may be,

is to be focused in the realm of suffering.

I know the usual theory; it goes like this:

"you are caught up in your worries, your fears and expectations,

the scenarios you create in your mind about what might happen --

just pay attention to what is happening right here, now,

and you will be free from the fears created by your imaginings "

This is terrible advice.

This is totally misleading advice to a truth-seeker.

What is to be found, or seen, here and now,

has nothing to do with observing the beauty of nature

and the kindness of ordinary people. That is a HUGE mistake.

What is to be found here and now, the sacredness of what is here and now,

is what is ALWAYS here and now.

What is always here and now is only the formless witness; "I", the Self, pure consciousness.

Vicki, you ARE the formless witness, you have always been the formless witness,

it is not possible for you not to be the formless witness.

The formless witness was never born.

The formless witness will never die.

Your husband is the formless witness; he will never die.

Your child also is (not was) the formless witness; she never died.

You as a person will die.

Your husband as a person will die.

You and Warwick as persons will die.

But persons is not what we are.

Vicki, find that non-person which you are.

That eternal and changeless something which you are.

It is not difficult. It is not, as they say, rocket science.

Vicki, forget about the the trees and the birds and the children playing;

these are simply distractions until you at least are given a glimpse of this

unchanging consciousness that you are.

Furthermore, the beauty of the birds and trees and children playing,

the beauty that is without attachment, is not in these things themselves;

their beauty lies in the presence in which they exist, the Self in which they exist.

This is why, to one who knows who she truly is, all things,

all ordinary things, are fulfilling, are perfect or divine or whatever word you want to use.

Maybe you can read books about the truth,

and when they make statements about the truth,

look inside and check it out.

See teachers.

Do whatever your creativity suggests, but do not get caught in the trap

of thinking that the understanding of the divine comes from observing

what is going on outside you, here and now.

Very much love

Warwick

/join

"Love itself

is the actual form of God."Sri RamanaIn "Letters from Sri

Ramanasramam" by Suri Nagamma

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/join

"Love itself

is the actual form of God."Sri RamanaIn "Letters from Sri

Ramanasramam" by Suri Nagamma

[Guest guest]

- Emanuele De Benedetti Dear

Warwick,first I would like to thank you for the many beautiful

loving poststhat recently came out of your heart.So much love you are

able to express!!What I would like to share is that my perception of

Here and Nowis a little different from what you express here:for sure

the joy is not in the objects that appear in Awarenessbut in the very

nature of what we are, independently of what formsappear in it, but:I

feel it is not possible to separate any form from That:snip

 

Dear Marifa,

 

I have had this conversation a hundred times before.

I agree with you that there can be no form without consciousness; that

form is consciousness manifest.

But I do not agree with you that there can be no consciousness without form.

 

To me it was very important in my first glimpsing my tue nature.

Consciousness being intrinsically formless was essential to the

understanding (I use the word glimpse and understanding more-or-less

interchangably here)

 

The way I see it, it is because consciousness is essentially

changeless that consciousness is the realm of eternity.

This is what makes consciousness liberating; being changeless it is eternity,

it was never born and it never dies.

 

This was not something that I read or was told,

it was my own experience,

my own revelation, if you like.

 

But I think we will have to agree to disagree.

The most important thing is whether we are in the realm of uncaused happiness,

all the rest is optional.

 

Much love

 

Warwick

[Guest guest]

Dear Warwick

I agree totally on where we are

and all the rest is optional.

For sure sometimes is fun to discuss Truth mindfully

and sometimes is tiring and boring.

When it is really connected with the intuition

it is like to describe a beautiful landscape,

the descripton is not the landscape

but just hearing about it can bring joy.

What I said is only partly my experience

I still have to verify it completely

and it may be even possible that different individuals

have somehow different perceptions of Truth

all of them valid and true (not many advaita teachers will agree with this

but who cares!)

As for Joy-happiness (i like joy more, is less conceptual for me)

yes, yes we are in that realm

and it is always present, always present,

even when some suffering is there.

in love

Marifa

-

Warwick Wakefield

Wednesday, May 26, 2004 2:29 PM

Re: Re: Tears

- Emanuele De Benedetti Dear

Warwick,first I would like to thank you for the many beautiful

loving poststhat recently came out of your heart.So much love you are

able to express!!What I would like to share is that my perception of

Here and Nowis a little different from what you express here:for sure

the joy is not in the objects that appear in Awarenessbut in the very

nature of what we are, independently of what formsappear in it, but:I

feel it is not possible to separate any form from That:snip

Dear Marifa,

I have had this conversation a hundred times before.

I agree with you that there can be no form without consciousness; that

form is consciousness manifest.

But I do not agree with you that there can be no consciousness without form.

To me it was very important in my first glimpsing my tue nature.

Consciousness being intrinsically formless was essential to the

understanding (I use the word glimpse and understanding more-or-less

interchangably here)

The way I see it, it is because consciousness is essentially

changeless that consciousness is the realm of eternity.

This is what makes consciousness liberating; being changeless it is eternity,

it was never born and it never dies.

This was not something that I read or was told,

it was my own experience,

my own revelation, if you like.

But I think we will have to agree to disagree.

The most important thing is whether we are in the realm of uncaused happiness,

all the rest is optional.

Much love

Warwick/join

"Love itself is

the actual form of God."Sri RamanaIn "Letters from Sri Ramanasramam"

by Suri Nagamma

[Guest guest]

, "Warwick Wakefield"

<formandsubstance@t...> wrote:

>

> The formless witness was never born.

> The formless witness will never die.

> Your husband is the formless witness; he will never die.

> Your child also is (not was) the formless witness; she never died.

>

> You as a person will die.

> Your husband as a person will die.

> You and Warwick as persons will die.

>

> But persons is not what we are.

> Vicki, find that non-person which you are.

> That eternal and changeless something which you are.

> It is not difficult. It is not, as they say, rocket science.

 

Hello all,

 

I paged through the satsangh this morning. (What a lovely energy is

here!) Afterward, I went to sit with a book of Emerson's essays, as

he seems to be much with me today. I read this in his essay on Love

and thought of Warwick's lovely post:

 

"We are by nature observers, and therby learners. That is our

permanent state. But we are often made to feel that our affections

are but tents of a night. Though slowly and with pain, the objects

of affections change, as the objects of thought do. There are

moments when the affections rule and absorb the man and make his

happiness dependent on a person or persons. But in health the mind

is presently seen again,--its overarching vault, bright with galaxies

of immutable lights, and the warm loves and fears that swept over us

as clouds must lose their finite character and blend with God, to

attain their own perfection. But we need not fear that we can lose

anything by the progress of the soul. The soul may be trusted to the

end. That which is so beautiful and attractive as these relations,

must be succeeded and supplanted only by what is more beautiful, and

so on forever."

 

Truth echoes, does it not?

 

In Gratitude,

 

Aly