Homeland Security- Ordering a Pizza in 2008 -to tony with love!

[Guest guest]

Ordering a Pizza in 2008

 

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national

ID number?"

 

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."

 

Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"

 

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh,it's

6102049998-45-54610."

 

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland

Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at

Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566.

Email address is sheehan@ home.net Which number are you calling from,

sir?"

 

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

 

Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."

 

Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"

 

Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This

will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"

 

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-

Meat Special pizzas."

 

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

 

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

 

Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate

that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high

cholesterol.

 

Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy

choice."

 

Customer: "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"

 

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll

like it."

 

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

 

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your

local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

 

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."

 

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four

kids, and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is

$49.99."

 

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

 

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.

 

Your credit card balance is over its limit."

 

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your

driver gets here."

 

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's

overdrawn also."

 

Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash

ready. How long will it take?"

 

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45

minutes,sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up

while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a

motorcycle can be a little awkward."

 

Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"

 

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so

your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled

the tank yesterday"

 

Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"

 

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already

got a July 4th conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I

see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a

judge.Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay

in the State

Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return

to open society?

 

Customer: (Speechless)

 

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

 

Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".

 

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents

us from offering free soda to any diabetics. The New Constitution

prohibits this.

 

Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!"

 

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HEY TONY! was that you ordeing the pizza in 2008? lol!!!!!!!

[Guest guest]

, "adi_shakthi16"

<adi_shakthi16> wrote:

> Ordering a Pizza in 2008

 

Namaste,

 

Yes thats very funny, however on one has been molested by a

pepperoni pizza lol...Unless you call too much chili an

attack.......ONS..Tony.