Be the change YOU wish to see -Mahatma Gandhi

[Guest guest]

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adi_shakthi16 [adi_shakthi16]

Friday, November 05, 2004 10:15 AM

Be the change YOU wish to see

-Mahatma Gandhi

 

 

 

Harsha, you are very lenient and liberal and respect the freedom of the

members and allow them to express themselves freely and fearlessly.

 

A few posts ago, i quoted from upanishads on the 'quarrel among the

senses ' and somebody else responded by writing about what happens if

the 'ass-hole' shuts up! i have heard that story before and it is

true that when the ass hole shuts up, the whole body shuts up ! this

is true. But in advaitin list, they will not allow even the use of

the word'ass-hole' .... so, what i mean is members here take more

liberties because they feel you will not censor them. Now that you

have drawn a line, all members will respect your list policies and

refrain from making comments on POLITICS etc.

 

love and regards

*****************************

 

Dear Adi:

 

 

 

Thank you for your kind comments. Yes, members who respect the list spirit

indeed have a lot freedom to post whatever they wish. However, there have

been a few individuals who have abused this freedom to the detriment of the

sangha. I have been slow to respond because of my natural feeling that

people should feel free and be free in the sangha.

 

 

 

However, long time sangha members who are sharper and wiser than me have

pointed out that by abusing the freedom a few people can impose on everyone

else and make it unpleasant for them. I am slow but have learned how to

manage such situations better. People were kicked out periodically from Sri

Ramanaahsram because they would not behave properly. Even spiritual people

were asked to leave the Ashram at times. So I intend to follow that

tradition. People whom I dearly love and respect and cherish will be

moderated and/or banned from the list if they show general contempt for the

sangha by their divisive comments.

 

 

 

Love to all

 

Harsha

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Right Harsha,

 

A few posts ago I posted the following, and I hope you don't mind I

repeat it here in a slightly edited format. (My posts are sometimes

long and may not invite quick reading.) The idea behind it is to

support you in your current way of moderating by showing some of the

dynamics behind the posts in question and why and how moderation can

be appropriately corrective and not reactive...

 

.. When we feel hurt by statements that are meant to be hurting (the

offending party is often not aware anymore of malicious intent), they

will keep coming as the other party keeps getting a rise out of the

infliction of hurt.

.. There is no successful defense against being hurt except for

overcoming one's own vulnerability.

.. Pulling oneself away from a situation of hurt or excluding the

hurting party from one's company are by themselves not successful (as

the hurt will just re-appear again and very often in some other

format) but such temporary exclusion CAN help in the endeavor to

overcome one's vulnerability.

.. One cannot overcome one's vulnerability by wearing more armour, only

understanding and insight AND enough un-successful attempts to try it

otherwise (!!!) will eventually rebuild one's authentic self.

.. As long as we think that the hurt will stop by replying in kind or

some other defensive/offensive maneuver, the hurt will escalate in the

sense that one gets drawn even more into the arena where the "hurter"

is at his or her best while one is also being forced to use the very

weapons that the hurter wants you to use. The hurt-infliction game

will thus continue as one is still game (prey).

.. When one is in the process of overcoming one's vulnerability, and

while one's compassion increases (compassion always rises in tandem

with self empowerment and the increase of self-esteem) one can start

addressing the conscience of the inflicting party that is still intent

on hurting, by helping them understand the dynamics of their own game

which is now unsuccessful as one is not game to it (prey) anymore. Of

course that party may find other gaming grounds... they will pop up in

other forums attempting the same tactics but ALSO THERE they will find

people similar to the ones they just tried to avoid.

 

There are two possible outcomes,

.. the "hurting" party will eat their "false pride" and concede somehow

without losing their original authentic self-esteem or

.. they totally isolate themselves on their own account. At that point

one just has to leave them, compassion tells us that one can not

'prematurely' liberate anyone and compassion also makes one understand

why that is...

 

Wim