THE MAHARSHI 9-10/1995

[Guest guest]

THE MAHARSHI

September/October 1995Vol. 5 - No. 5

Produced & Edited byDennis HartelDr. Anil K. Sharma

The Recollections of N. Balaram Reddy - Part IV

ABOUT A YEAR EARLIER I had left Tiruvannamalai for a month and visited

Swami Ramdas at his Ananda Ashram in Kanhangad, Kerala. The Swami's

brother-in-law was an officer in the revenue department and the land

allocated by the government for Swami Ramdas to set up his ashram was

acquired through his intervention. In fact, his brother-in-law's

property bordered the ashram.

After Ramdas left his home and became a mendicant sadhu, his wife and

daughter came to live here with his wife's brother (the same

brother-in-law). Even at the time of my first visit to Ramdas in

1937, his wife had already passed away, but other relatives,

including his daughter, would visit the ashram daily.

Amongst all these family members and devotees the Swami would

cheerfully move about, never putting on the airs of a sannyasi or

even that of a householder. He treated everyone as if they were all

part of the same family, in a very natural, affectionate and, above

all, detached manner. It was a delight to watch him. In all

guilelessness and humility he would sit down with anyone and begin

narrating one story after another, all from his personal life and

experience. On my first visit in 1937 there was only Mother

Krishnabai and two or three sadhus living in the ashram. Ramdas would

be engrossed in telling me some story or reading from his manuscripts

when Mother Krishnabai would appear with cooked food and feed us. In

the course of one of these stories Ramdas told me how he came to

Arunachala and saw Bhagavan. When he was a mendicant and was

travelling to all the holy places, he heard of Arunachala. He had

also heard of Ramana Maharshi, but to see him was not the main

purpose of his visit to Tiruvannamalai.

Soon after reaching there he came to Ramanasramam and stood before the

Maharshi, who was then sitting on a raised platform. Ramdas said that

he felt Bhagavan's grace pouring out through his eyes and filling

him. After having Bhagavan's darshan he went up on the hill and

resided in a cave and performed continuous round-the-clock japa. He

said that by doing this constant japa he lost his mind and after two

weeks the universal vision of God appeared to him. In other words, he

saw everything as God. Since that day, he said, he has been living in

Ram. Ramdas had received the Ram Mantra from his father and he was

one of those few great souls who could execute his sadhana to

completion without the help of a physical guru.

During my first visit, Ramdas was present for only two of the four

weeks I stayed in his ashram. Devotees from Maharastra were eager to

see him and so he had travelled there. After he left, Mother

Krishnabai was kind enough to tell me some stories from her life,

describing how she came to Ramdas and other personal matters. It was

all very interesting and elevating. When I returned to Ramanasramam I

received a letter from Ananda Ashram wherein they requested me to

write in English all I had heard from Mother Krishnabai relating to

her personal life and experiences. I did this for them and it was

included in a biography they published of her. Also, when I was in

Ananda Ashram in 1937, I had written to my family in Andhra to send a

certain quantity of rice to this ashram for their use. Later, when I

returned to Ramanasramam, a letter arrived from Swami Ramdas in which

he wrote they had received the rice and that it was much superior to

the scented rice they were presently using. I showed the letter to

Bhagavan.

Not long after that, when I was alone with Bhagavan, he asked me about

Swami Ramdas. He wanted to know his daily schedule and, in particular,

what he did in the mornings. It was unusual for Bhagavan to inquire

about others in this manner. I then told him that someone had

suggested to Ramdas that he should daily practice a certain pranayama

exercise, as it would be good for his health. It simply involved

inhaling slowly and deeply, and exhaling slowly, without any breath

retention. He was doing this for one hour every morning. I also told

Bhagavan other matters concerning his daily routine. When I visited

Swami Ramdas on my return from North India in 1938 I only stayed a

few days. Upon leaving, Mother Krishnabai gave me some food items to

offer to Bhagavan. The practice of sending certain food items to

Ramanasramam from Ananda Ashram became an established tradition which

continues to this day. For Bhagavan's Jayanti celebration Krishnabai

would send a large quantity of dried banana chips and kanji. Even

after her passing these generous offerings continue, not only for

Jayanti, but at other times as well.

It was near the end of May in 1938 when I returned to Ramanasramam

from North India. When my bus was approaching the ashram on the

Chengam Road I asked the driver to stop and let me off near

Palakothu, just west of the ashram. S. S. Cohen occupied a small

cottage there and during my previous stay in Tiruvannamalai he often

requested me to come and live with him in Palakothu. I decided to

take him up on the offer. Leaving my luggage in his room, I walked

over to the ashram, entered the Old Hall, prostrated before the

Maharshi and sat down until 11:00 a.m., which was the dinner time. I

then returned to Cohen's cottage to eat. I didn't realize at the time

that devotees just arriving after a long absence were usually

requested to take their first meal with Bhagavan, even though, as in

my case, they may be living outside the ashram. When Bhagavan came to

Palakothu on his walk after lunch, his attendant stopped and told me

that Bhagavan, not seeing me in the dining hall, had inquired as to

my whereabouts. The attendant stayed and talked to us as Bhagavan

continued on alone. I was very touched by the Maharshi's solicitude.

I met him as he was returning from his walk and told him about my

North Indian trip. I began narrating my visit to Krishnaprem and told

Bhagavan how keen he was to hear all about him and Ramanasramam. It

was then the month of May, the hottest time of the year. I explained

to Bhagavan how delightfully pleasant and cool the climate of Almora

was, especially compared to the present weather in Tiruvannamalai.

Bhagavan said, "The real coolness is within. If we have that coolness

it will be cool wherever we go. Similarly, if you want to protect your

feet from the rough ground, you don't try to cover the earth with a

piece of leather. You simply put leather shoes on your own feet and

the job is done."

Mouna

One night, not too long after moving in with S. S. Cohen at Palakothu,

some time after 9 p.m., I had an urge to go on pradakshina around

Arunachala. I was then staying on the verandah of his cottage near

the outside door, which enabled me to come and go without disturbing

him. He probably didn't know I went out that night.

I was slowly walking around the hill when I came near the Kanji Road.

This is just halfway around the hill and near what is now called "Sri

Bhagavan's Bridge," named because Bhagavan would often stop there and

rest on it. I was looking at the holy mountain, surcharged with peace

and silence, when a strong feeling arose from within to take a vow of

mouna (silence). On the spot I resolved to stop speaking to anyone,

except those occasional exchanges I may have with Bhagavan. In the

morning, when Cohen met me he began talking to me in his usual way,

he soon discovered I was not responding. I wrote on a piece of paper

about my decision to observe mouna, which took him by surprise. It

was not long before everyone in the ashram knew.

Swami Viswanathan was at that time translating Swami Ramdas' book, In

the Vision of God, into Tamil. He was corresponding regularly with

Ananda Ashram, and in the course of this correspondence he had

written about my observing mouna. Soon after this, he received a

letter from Ramdas wherein the Swami wrote: "Balaram Reddy is

observing mouna? That is very good. He is a pure soul."

A day or so after this letter arrived I was entering the ashram one

afternoon at about 5 p.m. by way of the stairs on the north side. One

has to ascend a few steps and then descend a similar number of steps

which takes you down to the ashram level. These steps take you over

the bund on the side of a small canal bank where water would flow

during the rainy season. When I had reached the top of the stairs I

met Bhagavan and his attendant proceeding in the opposite direction.

I stood aside to let them pass. Bhagavan looked at me and said,

"Viswanathan received a letter from Swami Ramdas and Ramdas wrote:

'Balaram Reddy is observing mouna ? That is very good. He is a pure

soul.'" Bhagavan repeated this quotation to me in English.

Bhagavan's mentioning this, provided me with the assurance that my

decision to observe mouna was correct. It was sometimes difficult to

tell if Bhagavan approved of a certain act or discipline, as he

interfered very little in our outward lives. But if we kept alert, he

would somehow let us know in one way or another - often in a subtle

manner - that what we were doing was correct or incorrect.

Once Major Chadwick decided that he too would observe mouna, but

Bhagavan made it clear to him that it wasn't necessary or

advantageous in his case.

I continued observing silence from June 1938 to September 1939 when

something Bhagavan said induced me to end it. In September of 1939, I

was sitting near the end of Bhagavan's couch, where his feet rested.

There wasn't a fence around the couch in those days and we could

easily sit close to him. It was about 7 p.m. when I opened my eyes

from meditation and saw sitting before me T. L. Vaswani and his

nephew, J. P. Vaswani. T. L. Vaswani recognised me and I joined my

palms and saluted him in greeting. As I was still observing mouna, I

didn't say anything to him. The dinner bell rang, everyone got up and

left and I returned to my residence. After breakfast the next morning,

I told Bhagavan the identity of our guests and inquired about where

they had gone. T. L. Vaswani was renowned all over India but, like

many famous people back then, very few could recognise him by sight.

I was surprised to hear from Bhagavan that he and his nephew had

already departed. I was disappointed that I had no chance to

communicate with them or inform anyone who they were before they

left. When I had expressed all this to Bhagavan he told me that I

could have said something to him on the previous evening. Bhagavan's

mentioning that I could have said something, gave me an indication

that my silence was now not necessary in his view and I should end

it, which I did. I later wrote to T. L. Vaswani and expressed my

disappointment at his early departure from the ashram, and explained

how I had been then observing mouna. I also related to him my

conversation with Bhagavan after his departure and how it resulted in

my abandoning a vow of silence. He wrote back praising Bhagavan,

expressing how blessed I was to be sitting at the feet of a sage like

the Maharshi.

In this same year, 1939, I occupied another hut near Cohen's in

Palakothu. This hut consisted of two small rooms, about six feet by

eight feet each. I stayed in one of these and Swami Prajnanananda, a

westerner, was using the other. One night before I returned from the

ashram, someone broke the lock on the door and made off with my

suitcase and some other things. The next day I searched in the nearby

woods and found the suitcase, which contained mostly books. The books

were scattered around near the suitcase. I collected them and

returned to my room. A short time later there was another robbery.

Someone pounded a hole in the mud wall near the window frame. At this

exact place I kept some money in a jar. Somebody must have seen me

taking money from there and got the idea of stealing it. The next day

when Bhagavan came to Palakothu on his walk I told him about the

theft. He looked over the scene and explained to others how some of

these local people keep an eye open for such opportunities, and how

they must have seen me take money from that jar and decided to pound

a hole in the wall to get at it. He then told me that I should not

keep anything in this place that would be desired by others. I

therefore shifted my belongings to town and gradually moved back

there myself.

My Father's Death

Not long after I ceased my mouna I received a letter from my mother

asking me to come home for a visit, since she had not seen me for a

long time and was missing me. I returned home and just four days

after my return, on November 10, 1939, my father unexpectedly

collapsed with a heart attack and died. It was about 9 p.m. on the

night of Deepavali when someone came running to my garden cottage and

told me to come immediately to the main house. By the time I arrived

at the house it was all over: my father had expired. It seems he took

his evening meal as usual and was relaxing when he experienced a sharp

pain in his chest. As he lay there suffering he told my brother and

mother that he felt his prana (life force) leaving his body. He first

described to them how it was leaving his lower extremities and was

slowly working its way upwards. When it had reached his chest he said

he would now die and gave instructions as to where his body should be

buried. All this happened within half an hour.

I wrote to the ashram and informed them of my father's demise.

Viswanathan later told me that Bhagavan read the letter and commented

to those around him "that it was all over in half an hour." Two years

earlier my father had come to Sri Ramanasramam and had Bhagavan's

darshan. The fact that I was able to return home just a few days

before my father's end - and many other such incidents in my life -

instilled in me faith in the guiding presence of the Maharshi. I also

felt assured that surrendering to him as my guru and master was the

best decision I had ever made.

Soon after my father's demise I left my village and returned to the

ashram to attend Bhagavan's sixtieth birthday celebration, which fell

on December 27, 1939. In our Indian tradition the sixtieth birthday is

considered an important event in one's life. It is called Shashti

Purthi, and many devotees attended the occasion.

- (To be continued)

 

Express yourself instantly with MSN Messenger! MSN Messenger Download today it's FREE!