THE MAHARSHI 9-10/1996

[Guest guest]

The Recollections of N. Balaram ReddyConclusion

After the Mahasamadhi

ON APRIL 16, the day after Bhagavan’s body was buried, I gathered all

my belongings and left on the noon train for Madras. At that time, I

didn’t know when, or if, I would be returning to the ashram. Many

prominent devotees also began leaving Tiruvannamalai. Everybody was

selling off their properties, the ashram’s income dramatically fell

and the Mauni, Srinivasa Rao, was scheming to seize control of the

ashram; even before Bhagavan’s demise he was scheming.

After one year, I again returned to the ashram to attend Bhagavan’s

aradhana celebration. The ashram was struggling to stay afloat

financially. I remember Chinnaswami informing me that the ashram

would be unable to serve me breakfast and I should go to town and

eat.

By the mid 1950s T. N. Venkataraman began to gain considerable

support, although he definitely had an uphill battle. And, as

Bhagavan willed, the ashram has somehow been going along, prospering

ever since. There are, no doubt, the occasional incidental problems

in the operation of the ashram. Still, like before, I believe it is

only Bhagavan who is getting everything done. His presence continues

to be the controlling factor in the day to day operation of the

ashram. And just look how the ashram has grown and how more and more

seekers from all over the world are flocking here.

"Why Do You Doubt It?"

One time G. V. Subbaramayya questioned Bhagavan about his Atma Vidya

song, which begins with "Self-knowledge is an easy thing, the easiest

thing there is." Subbaramayya wondered why, if it is so easy, we don’t

realize it. This is something we all wondered about.

I then quoted to Bhagavan verse three in the seventh chapter of the

Bhagavadgita, wherein Sri Krishna says, "Of thousands of men, some

rare soul strives to realize Me; of those striving yogis, again, some

rare one (devoting himself exclusively to me) knows Me in reality."

I thought if Atma Vidya (Self-knowledge) was so easy, as Bhagavan’s

song suggests, why did Krishna make this declaration in the Gita?

Bhagavan looked at us with compassion and, smiling confidently, said,

"What is written in the song Atma Vidya is true. Why do you doubt it?

It is as clear as a gooseberry in the palm of your hand."

When he spoke to us like this, with such certitude and conviction, we

were filled with an unflinching faith and self-confidence in our

ability to attain the ideal he taught us. Moreover, he sat before us

as the living example of that ideal, a perfected soul, absorbed in

the purity and peace of the Absolute Reality. What more did we need

in life? How blessed we all felt.

This concludes the Recollections N. Balaram Reddy, recorded by Dennis

Hartel during a 1993 visit to Sri Ramanasramam. The foregoing ten

installments and an additional Appendix (not published in the

MAHARSHI) are being compiled into a book and published by Sri

Ramanasramam, India. Sri N. Balaram Reddy was absorbed into his

Master on May 11, 1995.

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