An Invitation/Anna

[Guest guest]

, "Anna Ruiz" <nli10u@c...>

wrote:

 

This is Where I Am Now

Love "You"

 

Anna

 

nondualerotica

 

 

My most recent is called "The World

Is Not Yet Ready" and "My Offering"

 

 

Dear Anna,

 

When the nondualerotica first began, was formed by J., the

Beautiful Lover/Mother/Friend/Brother, it was a first, a going out on

a new, untested limb in a generous and compassionate attempt to bring

people together on all levels, in every situation tht might, and

well, it will, it shall invariably arise. For most of everyone, this

is the thing of trying to see and know, to go all the way with this:

 

Who Am I? I Am, and then, via the Friend, always the FRIEND, (moi in

Wa ... I project the world) and Whoa Baby! the extraction process

kicks in, the addition and subtraction actions begin doing what they

do so very well. They tell us stories to buoy up the sense of being

bored; they feed us cooooool spiritual food to drool out later, past-

tense-spinning, in energy wielded and wallowed in as hate, anger,

fear, and also queer and odd actions in our wordings, in our girding

up of the loins of looking to make, maintain, paint up real purty,

and even go so far as to "murder" a relationship, if necessary, in

order to keep that must-have-gotta-have-WILL-have habitual ritual of

needing to BE someOne, and not just any someone, but a someOne whom

gets oh-so-wicked-quickened with whatever gets one through the night,

and Anna, it's a looked-to weather world-viewed by and as,

themselves.

 

It's tricky and slick, as you already so obviously well know and

realize, and, like quicksand, we stand in ego-muck we never even saw

coming, or in being there standing neck-deep in it, we don't, (or

didn't) evereverever (since J and G and Kz and the original group

left,) cease to struggle against speaking out and in the ease and

breezy blowsy conversations and poetry which CAN be discussed about

sexuality, and that reality we live with - our sexuality-sense, that

primal-driving I, I, I.

 

Sri Ramana said that reality is the only yardstick to measure, if you

will, Reality. In sexuality, there are so many personal, past-

residual repercussion-discussions, if they're discussed at all, and

often, people just fall back on their own bones (no pun intended,) of

contentions that they cannot mention, will not mention in lists such

as nondualerotica, (where they oughta be able and willing to do so.)

 

I was one of the original, first of the members of nondualerotica. I

was a longtime moderator also, and what goes on at the group, unless

it's changed, is either silence and no sharing at all of anything

sexually personal, and 'spiritually' helpful ... (fear-contraction-

fear,) or it appears, clearly, that it's just a single and particular

poet posting the same poems there, and most everywhere, she being

unaware that the sex-acts word-acted out are obvious to most, the

boasting, moaning, and heavy-breathing bringing forth en force ...

it is seen as a psuedo-true dream-scene, placed upon the screen most

meme-like, and most deceptively is it displayed and not allowed to be

played with with inquiry and questions. It's very easy to see who

she's speaking of ... and yet there is not, will not, cannot be any

dialogue about those poems, about what's behind the urge to word

them, to herd them about and around to so many pastures of people who

shall never have the allowance to talk about them, inquire into them.

Why would that be so and why is this the common and accepted mode of

showing what we know or think we know about This, That, the Heart,

God, Self, Nonduality ... Ultimate Reality of I Am That I Am?

 

For asking about and giving my "take" on a particularly

condemnational poem, I was thrown off the group truevision - a first

for me. I've left groups, dropped out on the boohiss sense which was

given, before I was shown the proverbial door, but never have I been

shoved out the door for asking questions, and tossed, booted without

even the slightest warning or wording of why. I was a regularly

contributing member for nearly, or more than, four years at

truevison. What is it that could cause a person to become so unnerved

by what I have/had to say that they would rather bar me than embark

upon a wonderful discovery together of what we say, think, and do in

what we convey? Oy Vey! And that's the way it is, folks, on this 4th

day in June, 2005.

 

Anna, your poetry is so FINE! You blow my mind with what and how you

say your saying of what and where you're at, or have been, and to a

Friend, that's a mending, blending wending of The Way. WooYay! Tao

Now - and you shower the sky with light whenever your write poetry.

 

Digression done, one must attend to the morning glory's of "God is

Gracious, and so Am I... Hai!" and I'm facing myself in the mirror of

mySelf, unflinching, unafraid and willing to go all the way in order

to explore this life and who am I.... trying to understand from a

banned person's viewpoint, what the one banning is so afraid to say

or see said. We are Wed to one another, Brother, Sister, Mother,

Father, Son, Daughter, Mark Otter, (teehee, I See Thee!) Friend, and

we oughter try to talk about what gets our mojo mucking up with

our "F*ck You's," and of course, the old horse I rode in on. Quandry

spawned upon fear and desire.

 

But hey, what do I know, I'm just a "Part of the Load Not Rightly

Balanced." Rumiesqually, course.

 

"I am part of the load

Not rightly balanced

I drop off in the grass,

like the old Cave-sleepers, to browse

wherever I fall.

 

For hundreds of thousands of years I have been dust-grains

floating and flying in the will of the air,

often forgetting ever being

in that state, but in sleep

I migrate back. I spring loose

from the four-branched, time -and-space cross,

this waiting room.

 

I walk into a huge pasture

I nurse the milk of millennia

Everyone does this in different ways.

Knowing that conscious decisions

and personal memory

are much too small a place to live,

every human being streams at night

into the loving nowhere, or during the day,

in some absorbing work."

 

~ Rumi, (Mathnawi, VI 216-227) from, 'We Are Three'

 

 

Love & Peace,

 

Mazie