An Invitation/Anna

[Guest guest]

Dear Mazie,

I have been very recent 3-4 months to lists, the UK list has been

approx. 6 mos. So I am a babe, so to speak, about the comings and

goings of these

comings and goings.

I imagine you are back at tv from our exchange, please return there

for a moment and see if this goes as it went and won't go as it

could/should. My words are my life and I gotta do what I

must this world is beautiful exquisite and full of truth that doesn't

want to be seen. I have my place in this Seeing, and it seems you

also do Sister.

Love is Peace by bringing a new under

the sun....

Anna

-

mazie_l

Saturday, June 04, 2005 8:48 AM

Re: An Invitation/Anna

, "Anna Ruiz" <nli10u@c...>

wrote:This is Where I Am NowLove

"You"AnnanondualeroticaMy most recent is called "The

WorldIs Not Yet Ready" and "My Offering"Dear Anna,When the

nondualerotica first began, was formed by J., the

Beautiful Lover/Mother/Friend/Brother, it was a first, a going out on

a new, untested limb in a generous and compassionate attempt to bring

people together on all levels, in every situation tht might, and

well, it will, it shall invariably arise. For most of everyone, this

is the thing of trying to see and know, to go all the way with this:

Who Am I? I Am, and then, via the Friend, always the FRIEND, (moi in

Wa ... I project the world) and Whoa Baby! the extraction process

kicks in, the addition and subtraction actions begin doing what they

do so very well. They tell us stories to buoy up the sense of being

bored; they feed us cooooool spiritual food to drool out later,

past-tense-spinning, in energy wielded and wallowed in as hate,

anger, fear, and also queer and odd actions in our wordings, in our

girding up of the loins of looking to make, maintain, paint up real

purty, and even go so far as to "murder" a relationship, if

necessary, in order to keep that must-have-gotta-have-WILL-have

habitual ritual of needing to BE someOne, and not just any someone,

but a someOne whom gets oh-so-wicked-quickened with whatever gets one

through the night, and Anna, it's a looked-to weather world-viewed by

and as, themselves. It's tricky and slick, as you already so

obviously well know and realize, and, like quicksand, we stand in

ego-muck we never even saw coming, or in being there standing

neck-deep in it, we don't, (or didn't) evereverever (since J and G

and Kz and the original group left,) cease to struggle against

speaking out and in the ease and breezy blowsy conversations and

poetry which CAN be discussed about sexuality, and that reality we

live with - our sexuality-sense, that primal-driving I, I, I. Sri

Ramana said that reality is the only yardstick to measure, if you

will, Reality. In sexuality, there are so many personal,

past-residual repercussion-discussions, if they're discussed at all,

and often, people just fall back on their own bones (no pun

intended,) of contentions that they cannot mention, will not mention

in lists such as nondualerotica, (where they oughta be able and

willing to do so.)I was one of the original, first of the members of

nondualerotica. I was a longtime moderator also, and what goes on at

the group, unless it's changed, is either silence and no sharing at

all of anything sexually personal, and 'spiritually' helpful ...

(fear-contraction-fear,) or it appears, clearly, that it's just a

single and particular poet posting the same poems there, and most

everywhere, she being unaware that the sex-acts word-acted out are

obvious to most, the boasting, moaning, and heavy-breathing bringing

forth en force ... it is seen as a psuedo-true dream-scene, placed

upon the screen most meme-like, and most deceptively is it displayed

and not allowed to be played with with inquiry and questions. It's

very easy to see who she's speaking of ... and yet there is not, will

not, cannot be any dialogue about those poems, about what's behind the

urge to word them, to herd them about and around to so many pastures

of people who shall never have the allowance to talk about them,

inquire into them. Why would that be so and why is this the common

and accepted mode of showing what we know or think we know about

This, That, the Heart, God, Self, Nonduality ... Ultimate Reality of

I Am That I Am?For asking about and giving my "take" on a

particularly condemnational poem, I was thrown off the group

truevision - a first for me. I've left groups, dropped out on the

boohiss sense which was given, before I was shown the proverbial

door, but never have I been shoved out the door for asking questions,

and tossed, booted without even the slightest warning or wording of

why. I was a regularly contributing member for nearly, or more than,

four years at truevison. What is it that could cause a person to

become so unnerved by what I have/had to say that they would rather

bar me than embark upon a wonderful discovery together of what we

say, think, and do in what we convey? Oy Vey! And that's the way it

is, folks, on this 4th day in June, 2005. Anna, your poetry is so

FINE! You blow my mind with what and how you say your saying of what

and where you're at, or have been, and to a Friend, that's a mending,

blending wending of The Way. WooYay! Tao Now - and you shower the sky

with light whenever your write poetry. Digression done, one must

attend to the morning glory's of "God is Gracious, and so Am I...

Hai!" and I'm facing myself in the mirror of mySelf, unflinching,

unafraid and willing to go all the way in order to explore this life

and who am I.... trying to understand from a banned person's

viewpoint, what the one banning is so afraid to say or see said. We

are Wed to one another, Brother, Sister, Mother, Father, Son,

Daughter, Mark Otter, (teehee, I See Thee!) Friend, and we oughter

try to talk about what gets our mojo mucking up with our "F*ck

You's," and of course, the old horse I rode in on. Quandry spawned

upon fear and desire. But hey, what do I know, I'm just a "Part of

the Load Not Rightly Balanced." Rumiesqually, course."I am part of

the loadNot rightly balancedI drop off in the grass,like the old

Cave-sleepers, to browsewherever I fall. For hundreds of thousands of

years I have been dust-grainsfloating and flying in the will of the

air, often forgetting ever beingin that state, but in sleepI migrate

back. I spring loosefrom the four-branched, time -and-space

cross,this waiting room.I walk into a huge pastureI nurse the milk of

millenniaEveryone does this in different ways.Knowing that conscious

decisionsand personal memoryare much too small a place to live,every

human being streams at nightinto the loving nowhere, or during the

day,in some absorbing work."~ Rumi, (Mathnawi, VI 216-227) from, 'We

Are Three'Love & Peace,Mazie

/join

"Love itself

is the actual form of God."Sri RamanaIn "Letters from Sri

Ramanasramam" by Suri Nagamma