How Maharshi came to me

[Guest guest]

How Maharshi Came To Me

by Robert Hanlon

 

First became aware of the Name and Grace of Bhagavan in December 1958.

Since my father's death in 1956, I had been in a grave spiritual and

psychological crisis.

Play-writing efforts of many years stopped abruptly. I then worked as

an advertising copywriter until the unconscious weight of the

identity search made any job impossible.

I started taking a variety of drugs rather heavily,and began an

intensive reading of Freudian and mystical literature, with the

emphasis on Zen and Yoga.

As if miraculously, financial help from a new wealthy friend began at

this time and made the total search for Self economically feasible.

Gradually, I started to meditate in the Zen tradition, not knowing

that already the Real Presence of the Divine Lover was dictating my

most stumbling efforts.

I was using the koan, "What was my original face before my father and mother were born?"

I would meditate for a half hour, read a page here of one book, two

pages of another, until the need to meditate overpowered me once

more.

But I was conscious of no inward change that would relieve my cosmic

anxiety. I was overwhelmed by doubts that I could ever break through

to the certitudes of immortality and the spirit.

Then, in December 1958, I went to Taos, New Mexico to visit a friend

who was also engaged in the search for Self. One day we went to see a

rather advanced Yogi and painter, Herman Rednick, who lived in the

beautiful sagebrush desert along the Rio Grande Canyon. In his cabin

he had five or six framed pictures of Indian sages. One of these

pictures was the most famous one of Bhagavan, reproduced on the cover

ofArthur Osborne's biography.

Looking at it, I felt as if I had been waiting to see it for 10,000

years. The absolute serenity, sweetness and love in His eyes

overwhelmed me; for the first time I knew there was really something

to be discovered, and that here was my guide to the promised land.

Tears came unbidden to my eyes. I was also conscious of powerful

vibrations in the cabin which filled me with exultation. (I am now

aware that these vibrations were the initial transmission of the

Spirit, and that Herman was the Guru transmitting the Grace of

Bhagavan, Sad-Guru, the One without a second.)

Returning to New York, I obtained Bhagavan's books and started to

meditate according to His teachings. I also began praying to Him,

using the mantra "OM Ramana", as given in Mudaliar's Day by Day with

Bhagavan.

I stopped taking drugs completely, thanks to the ever-pouring Grace of the Divine Saviour.

Several times during the succeeding months, the idea came to me to lie

down on my bed and see if I could return to the womb in a psychic

sense, "to go back the way you came," as Bhagavan told one devotee.

These attempts had no results until the 22nd of December, 1959. This

time, at noon, I was immediately conscious that something

extraordinary had happened, that in some inexplicable way I had

returned to the womb, although I was still completely conscious of my

surroundings and adult identity.

Then the question came, 'Where did I come from before I was in the

womb?' No sooner was this question out than a white light opened

above and between the eyes; in it I saw what seemed to be black

objects moving about. The word "spermatozoa" flashed through my mind,

with no conscious volition on my part (I was not familiar with St.

Augustine's statement of the Logos Spermatikos until several years

later).

This word, in its turn, triggered a complete rigidity of the body, so

that I was aware of being completely in the grip of a higher power. A

golden light appeared at the loins and three spiralling lines of light

came up the body. The great golden light stopped momentarily at the

navel, then rose to the forehead, where it took on the shape of a

cone. My whole consciousness went through the horn - and I was

immersed in the Ocean of Bliss. Immediately I said, "Of course! I

remember. This is my original face."

After a very short time, the consciousness came back into the body,

which was now all white. The golden horn lingered for a few seconds,

then came down again into the navel and on back to the loins. I now

understood the significance of the myth of the Unicorn.

Still, (such is the obstinacy of the ever-clinging ego) despite this

overpoweringly blissful rebirth of the Spirit which transformed faith

into knowledge, I had no certitude that the Spirit which had led me to

this beatitude of Light was truly Bhagavan.

Thus was I questioning several nights later, "How do I know it is

Bhagavan who has rescued me from my ignorance and not simply any

'familiar' spirit?" when once again my body was gripped by a superior

force.

Slowly my head was turned in the chair to the left, where the picture

of Bhagavan which had first enthralled me in New Mexico was hanging.

My gaze was held rigidly on the picture for some time while the

thought came to my mind from an inner voice, 'Now do you see? Now, at

last, do you see?'

Now at last I saw.

The power of the Holy Name of Bhagavan Sri Ramana, the beatitude and

salvation in His holy gaze, have been my surety and bliss since that

day.

To me, now, all life is a countless succession of Bhagavan's favors;

many extraordinary things have happened daily. Pain and suffering

have not disappeared from my life, but I accept them now as the will

of Bhagavan, to whom I have surrendered as best I can. I am conscious

at all times of the Real Presence of my Saviour. May I one day be

worthy of the overpowering Love which He has showered upon me.

--The Mountain Path, January 1966

Robert Hanlon would sometimes visit Arunachala Ashrama in New York

during the late 1960s and early 1970s.

 

THE MAHARSHI

March / April 2005Vol. 15 - No. 2

44.25pt" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="">

Produced & Edited byDennis HartelDr. Anil K. Sharma

 

 

 

Tired

of spam? Mail has the best spam protection around