Transforming Confusion into Wisdom

[Guest guest]

The tonglen practice is a method for connecting with suffering ­ ours

and that which is all around us ­ everywhere we go. It is a method

for overcoming fear of suffering and for dissolving the tightness of

our heart. Primarily it is a method for awakening the compassion that

is inherent in all of us, no matter how cruel or cold we might seem to

be. - Pema ChodronTransforming Confusion into WisdomPema

ChodronBerkeley Shambhala CenterFall 1999 In order to have compassion

for others, we have to have compassion for ourselves. In particular,

to care about other people who are fearful, angry, jealous,

overpowered by addictions of all kinds, arrogant, proud, miserly,

selfish, mean ­you name it­ to have compassion and to care for these

people, means not to run from the pain of finding these things in

ourselves. In fact, one's whole attitude toward pain can change.

Instead of fending it off and hiding from it, one could open one's

heart and allow oneself to feel that pain, feel it as something that

will soften and purify us and make us far more loving and kind. The

tonglen practice is a method for connecting with suffering ­ours and

that which is all around us­ everywhere we go. It is a method for

overcoming fear of suffering and for dissolving the tightness of our

heart. Primarily it is a method for awakening the compassion that is

inherent in all of us, no matter how cruel or cold we might seem to

be. We begin the practice by taking on the suffering of a person we

know to be hurting and who we wish to help. For instance, if you know

of a child who is being hurt, you breathe in the wish to take away all

the pain and fear of that child. Then, as you breathe out, you send

the child happiness, joy or whatever would relieve their pain. This

is the core of the practice: breathing in other's pain so they can be

well and have more space to relax and open, and breathing out, sending

them relaxation or whatever you feel would bring them relief and

happiness. However, we often cannot do this practice because we come

face to face with our own fear, our own resistance, anger, or

whatever our personal pain, our personal stuckness happens to be at

that moment. At that point you can change the focus and begin to do

tonglen for what you are feeling and for millions of others just like

you who at that very moment of time are feeling exactly the same

stuckness and misery. Maybe you are able to name your pain. You

recognize it clearly as terror or revulsion or anger or wanting to

get revenge. So you breathe in for all the people who are caught with

that same emotion and you send out relief or whatever opens up the

space for yourself and all those countless others. Maybe you can't

name what you're feeling. But you can feel it ­a tightness in the

stomach, a heavy darkness or whatever. Just contact what you are

feeling and breathe in, take it in ­for all of us and send out relief

to all of us. People often say that this practice goes against the

grain of how we usually hold ourselves together. Truthfully, this

practice does go against the grain of wanting things on our own

terms, of wanting it to work out for ourselves no matter what happens

to the others. The practice dissolves the armor of self-protection

we've tried so hard to create around ourselves. In Buddhist language

one would say that it dissolves the fixation and clinging of ego.

Tonglen reverses the usual logic of avoiding suffering and seeking

pleasure and, in the process, we become liberated from a very ancient

prison of selfishness. We begin to feel love both for ourselves and

others and also we being to take care of ourselves and others. It

awakens our compassion and it also introduces us to a far larger view

of reality. It introduces us to the unlimited spaciousness that

Buddhists call shunyata. By doing the practice, we begin to connect

with the open dimension of our being. At first we experience this as

things not being such a big deal or so solid as they seemed before.

Tonglen can be done for those who are ill, those who are dying or

have just died, or for those that are in pain of any kind. It can be

done either as a formal meditation practice or right on the spot at

any time. For example, if you are out walking and you see someone in

pain ­right on the spot you can begin to breathe in their pain and

send some out some relief. Or, more likely, you might see someone in

pain and look away because it brings up your fear or anger; it brings

up your resistance and confusion. So on the spot you can do tonglen

for all the people who are just like you, for everyone who wishes to

be compassionate but instead is afraid, for everyone who wishes to be

brave but instead is a coward. Rather than beating yourself up, use

your own stuckness as a stepping stone to understanding what people

are up against all over the world. Breathe in for all of us and

breathe out for all of us. Use what seems like poison as medicine.

Use your personal suffering as the path to compassion for all beings.

Source: http://www.shambhala.org/teachers/pema/tonglen1.php#___Pema

Chodron's Biography and

Teachingshttp://www.shambhala.org/teachers/pema/biography.php