Guest guest Posted January 30, 2006 Report Share Posted January 30, 2006 I dreamt I had a glass bottle, and I threw the bottleinto a slow-moving winter river. The bottle became a ball as it rolled slowly toward the middle, and it was something like the color of quicksilver & blacklight-edness coming from inside. I identified with it, and then the ball that was rolling towards a center without end became known to myself as being myself, my me, my I. The river froze solid as the ball rolled across and into the middle of it. The river then began to crack, and with thatthe synapses began to fire up in fear, in sorrow, in regret, in an enormous grief, in the belief that I was about to die. The ball turned from an empty orb into a crystal ball.It began to break through a sudden crack that had appeared in the middle of the moving frozen river.Stepping back at the exact time I wanted to run and stop the ball that was myself from sinking into the deep,I watched as it began to go beneath the freeze. Suddenly there was a wall and a telephone and a man standingwith his face pressed left into the white-washed wall. He saidthat the ball was his. I said that the ball must be his then, for it had his name engraved in pain upon it. (so the man said.) I thought it was my name, I saw that it was my name (nameless) written upon it. I wanted to telephone for help, for someone to come and make a run into the river and snatch our/my ball back. It went from black to white to crystal to opaque, and the river turned into a lake, a huge lake with no shores in sight. Even the earth I stood upon had no edge … there was no horizon to situate myself, to set myself straight with directions. I was the lakest non-existent edges, its movement, its cracking river in it, its shocking shivers being sent up and down the spine to realize that all the world, and all the things, and beings and dreams within it, were myself and no other. Lover, Brother, every Other, the Grey Sky above,the fears hovering mirror-sharp and shining with a light indistinguishablefrom the Light of Mind that defined the nde afforded me in 1975’. I was life and death, I was alive and dead at once, and the fear of that, and the utter ease of acceptance of that, was inside a breathlessness of being,a deathlessness, and that being the fact of that, being what was seeing and what was being seen .... were dreaming themselves up. I awakened in great physical pain. Pain like a heavy-leaded, grey sky, pain like a frozen-solid river cracking up, like a strange man backed against a white wall and calling out, shouting out ina silent voice,“The crystal ball you think is yours, and yourself, is actually mine, and me.” I dream of rivers and light, and I dream God.I rarely ever dream, deep-sleeping deeply, but when I dream, I streamthrough consciousness as Consciousness stream-dreams through me,Me dreaming and seeing something like, like …. ice-balls of light inside myself,like God falling as a round, cracking crystal ball through the ice, and I being that breaking-apart ball and that falling through the frozen river,and that calling out for help … for help, and the non-answer back to the "Help me, help me, God," implorations,for help from some one when I feared that my life was dying out,and that I was that life dying in itself,as itself, and to itself. In dying to the struggling to keep this life, to stay alive,and in falling, dissolving into the light shining bright and brief beneath the frozen river’s break,in giving in to what windowed in as dreaming and dreams,the dream woke up. The fractal-cracked actuality of being … me,the dreamer was seeing that she/he/it/this was and is the stuffthat all dreams are made of: Shining mind defining itself by dark fear, then coming clear of that river-cracking act, waking up while still asleep, asleep and awake at once, and by deep-falling into that crack with ease, in not calling out to anyone or anything outside myself, for help,well-aware of the Faire Sweet Bliss fissuring forthin the failsafe sounds abounding, rounding out and sounding depth, in a roundless, clear, deathless ball, in falling through, in not falling in ... In all the world I am, and I am, I am but a drop of a dram of the Seadreaming me and all life-kind into findings of clouds and ice and edgeless lakes taking the river home one more time,one last time … shining the Way by the Light of Mind, divining LightMind through the Heart I Am. Beautiful Heart! Dreaming death and life into a dreaming me, then dreaming me coming back from, and back to - I Am That ... free of the past and its habitue of attracting attributes and states to display itself inside of, and outside of ... the round ball of Life and Death. Call it Grace to See the Face of God and Love, coming not from above, not from below, not outside, but inside mySelf .... inside the Heart. Sri Ramana Maharshi - “True surrender is love of God for the sake of love and nothing else, not even for the sake of liberation. Love itself is the actual form of God. That is pure bliss. Call it pure bliss, God, Self, or what you will. That is devotion, that is realization and that is everything. The experience of not forgetting consciousness alone is the state of devotion which is the relationship of unfading real love, because the real knowledge of Self, which shines as the undivided supreme bliss itself, surges up as the nature of love. Only if one knows the truth of love, which is the nature of the Self, will the strong entangled knot of life be untied. Only if one attains the height of love will liberation be attained. The experience of Self is only love, which is seeing only love, hearing only love, feeling only love, tasting only love and smelling only love, and this is bliss. God does not reside in any place other than the Heart. Be sure that the heart is the Kingdom of Heaven." ...."Reality is at once being and consciousness.To know that is to be that in the heart, transcending thought. That which is bliss is verily the Self.Bliss and the Self are one and identical.That alone is Real.That alone is the real truth.That is the heart." "That which is the source of all,That in which all live, and that intowhich all finally merge, is the heart. In the interior of the heart-cave (there)shines alone the one absolute as the "I - I",verily the consciousness - Self. What is called the heart is no other than the absolute. Call it by any name, God, Self, the Heart or Seat of Consciousness,it is all the same. The beloved heart alone is the refuge for the rising and subsidingof the "I". The heart is the center of all. That from which beings comeinto existence is said to be the absolute. That is the heart. The absolute is the heart. The Self is the heart. The heart is the center from which everything springs. The heart is the "Kingdom of God". ~Sri Ramana Maharshi As I Am, Mazie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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