lajjah Gauri by yeshe_o

[Guest guest]

>Her eyes like like the goddess meekshi I got lost in her feet and

eyes.<>The first time u see her all u can do is cry, cry and cry some

more. <

 

This reminds me of the "event" my son who was two at the time told

me. My son who has a heart defect had a very unsuccessful number 3

open heart surgery. He coded (died) during the surgery and was gone

for 8 minutes - the physicians feared that even if he was brought back

he would be damaged from the event of the coded.

 

My son told me of his wanderings during this time. Without me asking

he said to me while we waited for our Doctors appointment after his

discharge from the hospital..."What do god's eyes look like Mommy?"

He told me he had seen them..."I saw the most beautiful eyes on who I

think was a Daddy"..."He held me while I played with another big

person"..."Then he told me to go back and I left and I felt the pain".

Then my son tells of his journey looking for me in the hospital and

finding me in a room crying on the floor and he describes the room

exactly - but he has never been in that special waiting room for

relatives of individuals who die. He is back with me and is a very

alive and handsome 7 year old having successfully completed all of his

corrections for his heart disorder.

 

Eyes, yes they are wonderful, a Mother holding my child in her arms

and sending him back to me. I am thankful for this list who has opened

my eyes and helped me approach my life differently. I see Mother all

around me, and in me and she has many names ... I hope to meet her

and be her in the future, when the veil is pulled from my mind and I

see reality in clarity and at that time I can help others find

themselves as well ... journeying out of this suffering and finding

nonduality ... it is allthe same and it is all beyond any description

of love and Mother we have presently.

 

Alot of the discussions and texts go over my head, but I am learning

about the caring, devotion and actions that this union will be.

 

Shanti Om!! Metta!

~Om Tare Tuttare Ture Soha~

with palms together -

[Guest guest]

Reply by dakinic_monk

 

Dear Yeshe,

I infact when was talking about that siddhi to u that was the siddhi I

used to pull the mother from her home to the sacrificial pyre. I was

like a nagging child and so she had to come. A little irritated but

any how my mother. I made the secret yantram then a pitt I dug out.

After this I used the rarest of wood from sandalwood to aloy. I made a

mix of rice and rum (two sack fulls of rice and about 80 liters of

rum) then started the japam of the agni mantra and the lord agni

blessed me by materlising fire. After this I did the japam of the

Narasingha kavacha and so the Lord narahari bleseed me by making my

showl my armour which resisted the heat and the fire. For Five days I

did the Japam of the Summoning mantra about 33 million times the pitt

thank god I dug about 8 feet so very thing would burn when night came

I couldnt put anymore ahoti (can become satanic) but did not let the

fire go out I didnot sleep for the nights I was there but never felt

sleepy. I had ants, spiders and other bugs bitting but could not let

go of my concentration.

Suddenly I got angry (the kalika shakthi awankened) without fear of

death or pain I jumped in the pitt of fire that was burning fireicely

cause of the agni mantra but due to the Nara hari kavacha I wasnt

getting burnt. I got frustrated and poured rum on myslef to alight me

but that too failed. The rum was turned into water. I started crying

(out of frustration but still continued doing the japa) but as soon as

I did so the fire vanished and turned into a human figure. I got

scared thinking I must have really angered the lord of fire but then

the sari and jewellery I had left for the last sacrfice the figure

went to it and ardoned it telling me to look the other way. I did so

and as soon as I did I saw her the mother beloved. The goddess kalika

she came as a 16 year old girl I dared not look at her face thinking

that I might never return into maya and probably wont be able to

control myself (crying and all) but she said it was alright. She spoke

saying in sanskrit but I still could understand that she was in human

form but was only the spark of the goddess and that she was hungry. I

gave her the dry fruits that I had to open my fast as I did she gave

me an amulet made from the neelam stone (puriest form of emereld) she

said that this I should wear for it has the tongue of the goddess

kalika in her previous form. And that one of her forms is sleeping in

that. As she did she disapeared and I was left there. After cleaning

up I left too and for the next 3 days I was asleep. Whne I

awoke I cleaned up and went to the prayer room as soon as I

started reading my usual mantras I was stoped somehow I kinda swoloed

my own tongue and a voice came to me and told me to read certain books

and mantras and to stop very thing else. The book I was about to read

was the Devi mahatmyam. later on when I did so I started reciting the

mantras I was prescribed and that amulet got hot and burnt me. THe

voice then said u need a guru. I rest of the expirence I will tell u

later if u are interested. I thought since u shred ur deepest

expirenece I do mine as well.

[Guest guest]

dakinic_monk

>

I

started reading my usual mantras I was stoped somehow I kinda swoloed

my own tongue and a voice came to me and told me to read certain books

and mantras and to stop very thing else. The book I was about to read

was the Devi mahatmyam. later on when I did so I started reciting the

mantras I was prescribed and that amulet got hot and burnt me. THe

voice then said u need a guru. I rest of the expirence I will tell u

later if u are interested. I thought since u shred ur deepest

expirenece I do mine as well.<

 

Yes, I would like to hear the rest of your experience and learning. I

am in the process of finding a copy of the text you discussed here. I

would really like to know how you were found by your Guru and the

continuation of your path as you are telling about it here. Thank you

so much for responding and for this sharing of your path.

-with palms together

Yeshe

 

 

, "nora55_1999" <nora55_1999> wrote:

> Reply by dakinic_monk

>

> Dear Yeshe,

> I infact when was talking about that siddhi to u that was the

siddhi I

> used to pull the mother from her home to the sacrificial pyre. I

was

> like a nagging child and so she had to come. A little irritated but

> any how my mother. I made the secret yantram then a pitt I dug out.

> After this I used the rarest of wood from sandalwood to aloy. I

made a

> mix of rice and rum (two sack fulls of rice and about 80 liters of

> rum) then started the japam of the agni mantra and the lord agni

> blessed me by materlising fire. After this I did the japam of the

> Narasingha kavacha and so the Lord narahari bleseed me by making my

> showl my armour which resisted the heat and the fire. For Five days

I

> did the Japam of the Summoning mantra about 33 million times the

pitt

> thank god I dug about 8 feet so very thing would burn when night

came

> I couldnt put anymore ahoti (can become satanic) but did not let

the

> fire go out I didnot sleep for the nights I was there but never

felt

> sleepy. I had ants, spiders and other bugs bitting but could not

let

> go of my concentration.

> Suddenly I got angry (the kalika shakthi awankened) without fear of

> death or pain I jumped in the pitt of fire that was burning

fireicely

> cause of the agni mantra but due to the Nara hari kavacha I wasnt

> getting burnt. I got frustrated and poured rum on myslef to alight

me

> but that too failed. The rum was turned into water. I started

crying

> (out of frustration but still continued doing the japa) but as soon

as

> I did so the fire vanished and turned into a human figure. I got

> scared thinking I must have really angered the lord of fire but

then

> the sari and jewellery I had left for the last sacrfice the figure

> went to it and ardoned it telling me to look the other way. I did

so

> and as soon as I did I saw her the mother beloved. The goddess

kalika

> she came as a 16 year old girl I dared not look at her face

thinking

> that I might never return into maya and probably wont be able to

> control myself (crying and all) but she said it was alright. She

spoke

> saying in sanskrit but I still could understand that she was in

human

> form but was only the spark of the goddess and that she was hungry.

I

> gave her the dry fruits that I had to open my fast as I did she

gave

> me an amulet made from the neelam stone (puriest form of emereld)

she

> said that this I should wear for it has the tongue of the goddess

> kalika in her previous form. And that one of her forms is sleeping

in

> that. As she did she disapeared and I was left there. After

cleaning

> up I left too and for the next 3 days I was asleep. Whne I

> awoke I cleaned up and went to the prayer room as soon as I

> started reading my usual mantras I was stoped somehow I kinda

swoloed

> my own tongue and a voice came to me and told me to read certain

books

> and mantras and to stop very thing else. The book I was about to

read

> was the Devi mahatmyam. later on when I did so I started reciting

the

> mantras I was prescribed and that amulet got hot and burnt me. THe

> voice then said u need a guru. I rest of the expirence I will tell

u

> later if u are interested. I thought since u shred ur deepest

> expirenece I do mine as well.

[Guest guest]

Hi I am Babitha new to the group and was just surfing through the

emails.

This is the most Painful email I have ever read since a while now.

 

I would like to say that Your Pain is shared by me as well. Do not

give up hope for thats what we have for the Lost Love of our Life.

 

When I had a Miscarg of my second baby I had the Similar pain only

thing is I am not sad for I lost mY baby but Happy that he/she has a

better future than with me. Now I am a mother of two Goddess. Devika

13 yrs and Deepika 2 yrs. I am happy but still that pain lingers on

in my life for I lost it.

Pranam,

Babitha

, "nora55_1999"

<nora55_1999> wrote:

> >Her eyes like like the goddess meekshi I got lost in her feet and

> eyes.<>The first time u see her all u can do is cry, cry and cry

some

> more. <

>

> This reminds me of the "event" my son who was two at the time told

> me. My son who has a heart defect had a very unsuccessful number 3

> open heart surgery. He coded (died) during the surgery and was gone

> for 8 minutes - the physicians feared that even if he was brought

back

> he would be damaged from the event of the coded.

>

> My son told me of his wanderings during this time. Without me

asking

> he said to me while we waited for our Doctors appointment after his

> discharge from the hospital..."What do god's eyes look like Mommy?"

> He told me he had seen them..."I saw the most beautiful eyes on

who I

> think was a Daddy"..."He held me while I played with another big

> person"..."Then he told me to go back and I left and I felt the

pain".

> Then my son tells of his journey looking for me in the hospital and

> finding me in a room crying on the floor and he describes the room

> exactly - but he has never been in that special waiting room for

> relatives of individuals who die. He is back with me and is a very

> alive and handsome 7 year old having successfully completed all of

his

> corrections for his heart disorder.

>

> Eyes, yes they are wonderful, a Mother holding my child in her

arms

> and sending him back to me. I am thankful for this list who has

opened

> my eyes and helped me approach my life differently. I see Mother

all

> around me, and in me and she has many names ... I hope to meet her

> and be her in the future, when the veil is pulled from my mind and

I

> see reality in clarity and at that time I can help others find

> themselves as well ... journeying out of this suffering and

finding

> nonduality ... it is allthe same and it is all beyond any

description

> of love and Mother we have presently.

>

> Alot of the discussions and texts go over my head, but I am

learning

> about the caring, devotion and actions that this union will be.

>

> Shanti Om!! Metta!

> ~Om Tare Tuttare Ture Soha~

> with palms together -