Offering Advice

[Guest guest]

Sugarandbrine, a/k/a Erica -- who was a longtime member and friend of

our Group (a Lakshmi bhakta, as I recall), but is nowadays primarily

occupied with her duties administering the Saadhnaa club -- asks an

interesting question:

 

*** What can we do when approached by someone that is interested in

learning about spiritual matters? Should we simply recommend some

books to read and give a couple of websites and be done, or are these

people coming to us for a particular reason? ... Can we offer a hand?

If so, how can we make sure we don't overstep? ***

 

Perhaps some of you have opinions or thoughts on the issue? As a

moderator here with a year's experience (yup, that's the truth --

only a year!), I figured I'd share something of what I've learned --

while readily acknowledging that I am a raw novice compared to many

"" types, and hoping others will correct and expand upon

my thoughts.

>From the comfort of my own home and office -- while busily managing a

full-time career and a young family -- I decided to get involved with

(then Clubs) as a kind of extension of my sadhana. A way

to learn, to share what I know, to bring together like-minded souls,

and to provide a peaceful and friendly forum for the discussion of

the Shakta faith and practice. That was the theory at least. It

turned out to be more of a trial by fire! I quickly learned that the

(clubs) is a world unto itself -- a quasi-society of

anonymous ID's hiding a mind-numbing variety of people -- some of

them very real and open and pure; some extremely complex (for

example, sometimes very kind and helpful, other times harsh and

judgmental); some of questionable sanity; some just total rabble-

rousers. That is -- as far as I could tell; and in the world of

ID's you can't tell much.

 

And so -- to perhaps partially answer Erica's question -- when

dealing with new online encounters and their questions (and I do get

a lot of them), I try to base my responses on:

 

(1) the asker's limitations -- i.e. their level of seriousness; how

much they already know; what their motivation in asking may be; why

they have chosen to ask me, etc.; and

 

(2) my own limitations -- like a physician or attorney or other

advisor, we need to know when we're not the right person for the job,

or we'll definitely have to pay the consequences;

 

Obviously, this analysis is easier stated than performed; it takes a

lot of time -- and it is not foolproof. This truth applies in the

"real world," but even moreso in the Groups, where we are in effect

flying blind -- deprived of our asker's appearance, body language,

facial expressions, vocal inflections and other "human" cues that

govern our instinct in traditional exchanges, and our ability to

"size up" the people we're talking to.

 

Whomever may inquire of me, my first reaction is usually to lay down

the obvious caveats: "I am not a guru; I am not an authority; I am a

fellow devotee. I do not claim to have all (or any!) of the right

answers. I can only tell you what seems true to me; others will

certainly disagree, and you may find them to be better advisors for

your particular case." That sort of thing.

 

Whether you become acquainted in person or via the Web, it's best to

proceed slowly. It's easy to make mistakes about people. People who

seem unserious at first glance may turn out to be more accomplished

and dedicated than you ever imagined (I've had my mind blown more

than once by seeming dilettantes who turned out to be subtle

masters). And people who seem extremely advanced may be deceiving you

(I've seen people who I thought were accomplished Srividyas -- the

most humble yet powerful of sadhaks -- suddenly begin posting praise

for their own posts under altar-ego ID's from the same IPS. What is

one to make of that?!). In a word, it can be disturbing -- and

unnerving.

 

On the other hand, be aware that -- even as you are trying to read

the other person -- they are trying to read you too. And it's

possible that you too will be misjudged, if you're not careful. I've

found myself glorified as a saint and villified as a monster at the

most unexpected times, and by the most unexpected people. You just

never know. I've confided in people I'd known and trusted for some

time, only to have my words come back to me through others. I've

distanced myself from people who turned out to be quite kind and

innocent in the end, and embraced people who turned out to be quite

nasty and manipulative. It's a crap shoot sometimes. You do the best

you can.

 

The bottom line is -- we're all just human beings, each with our own

set of strengths and flaws. When relating over the Web, both

strengths and flaws can be magnified -- and therefore it is best to

proceed with caution -- whether deciding to trust someone or deciding

distrust them. As Erica noted, recommending a book is a good place to

start -- it is both a personal gesture (here's a book I liked) and

yet it maintains a careful distance (it's someone else's thoughts).

At my Group, we also maintain a library of good posts and articles,

photos, links, etc., that will answer most basic questions of the

newcomer. Early contacts are best confined to referring people to

such resources.

 

More general advice: Be careful of people who ask too much too soon,

or who ask you your opinions of others online -- these are always red

flags, signs of people interested in group politics rather than the

group subject. For example, I've been approached with questions by

people who say they are interested in Hinduism, but are actually

"anti-Hindu" activists of one stripe or another: They'll send a

follow-up letter with some attached article on an ostensibly Hindu

subject, but the attachment contains a computer virus (I've caught

them all, so far!) So be smart -- and let your relationships grow as

organically as possible within the limitations of the Web format. And

then? Just trust your instincts.

 

All of that is Web advice, obviously. Erica's query didn't specify

whether the question came from a flesh-and-blood acquaintance or a

Web ID. In an ideal world, it takes a telephone conversation or --

better yet, if you're in the same area -- a long personal face-to-

face chat, perhaps over coffee, in a relaxed setting, before you can

really get a read on someone, and decide how best to provide the

information they seek.

 

But don't let risk or fear of disappointment stop you. Depending on

the circumstances, you'll reach a point where you can make an

educated about someone. Sometimes you'll be wrong -- it's inevitable;

but that's the way it is in human relationships from earliest

childhood on. You might make an enemy; you might make several. You

might get yourself into a lot of hot water. You'll get hurt, but

you'll soon toughen up, and you'll learn fast. And along the way,

you'll also make some true and wonderful friends and meet other

fellow-travelers who make all of the bad experiences worth the

trouble -- to quote Dr. Suess, it's "98 and three-quarters percent

guaranteed."

 

That's my two cents, at least. Maybe others will be able to add to

and improve upon them.

 

Aum Maatangyai Namahe

[Guest guest]

I'm not totally sure this email posts but oh well. In various pujas one may lay

errors in pronounciation, devotion, or understanding at Savitri's, Guru's,

Narayana's feet. It is said that one invokes guru first during ceremony because

they took responsibility for promoting it in the first place so all wrongs

created from that impulse are rightly their karma. This is also what we are if

we choose to teach, that is, we are the results of our teaching upon those

taught. But results are far reaching in this cosmic karma business and even

extend through lifetimes. I believe that giving anything especially teachings

is real selfless generosity, which returned results in a better state of life

for the teacher as well. How many times I have given music tapes to others and

then found three times the gift back in new musical interests. Never keep your

learning bottled up. Remember Prometheus who dared the entire Pantheon out of

compassion for Mankind, to bring him fire to preserve Man's life. Sometimes,

one must dare, one must give even in spite of warnings and oppositions. My two

cents - give generously and don't be a coward. If you don't give andyour

knowledge is hoarded and dies with you then to me, you were a failure as a

human. But if you raise Mankind higher then you raise the bar on evolution.

Have faith that you can make things better, that Man is not pitiful and a waste

of time and talent. Give all whenever you can. Lakshmi will smile upon you.

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Dear Dashiki,

 

You have extremely noble and most kind thinking, but I

think as the sun shines and its rays fall on the trees

and plants, not all flowers bloom, some remain close

petaled. Also, certain type of things are not meant

for all. Most of this world is filled with dirt and

soot. And mankind is not ready for enlightenment

through higher practice of worship.

 

However, we can be hopeful.

 

Hari om.

 

--- Dashiki Djibouti <dashiki_djibouti

wrote:

> I'm not totally sure this email posts but oh well.

> In various pujas one may lay errors in

> pronounciation, devotion, or understanding at

> Savitri's, Guru's, Narayana's feet. It is said that

> one invokes guru first during ceremony because they

> took responsibility for promoting it in the first

> place so all wrongs created from that impulse are

> rightly their karma. This is also what we are if we

> choose to teach, that is, we are the results of our

> teaching upon those taught. But results are far

> reaching in this cosmic karma business and even

> extend through lifetimes. I believe that giving

> anything especially teachings is real selfless

> generosity, which returned results in a better state

> of life for the teacher as well. How many times I

> have given music tapes to others and then found

> three times the gift back in new musical interests.

> Never keep your learning bottled up. Remember

> Prometheus who dared the entire Pantheon out of

> compassion for Mankind, to bring him fire to

> preserve Man's life. Sometimes, one must dare, one

> must give even in spite of warnings and oppositions.

> My two cents - give generously and don't be a

> coward. If you don't give andyour knowledge is

> hoarded and dies with you then to me, you were a

> failure as a human. But if you raise Mankind higher

> then you raise the bar on evolution. Have faith

> that you can make things better, that Man is not

> pitiful and a waste of time and talent. Give all

> whenever you can. Lakshmi will smile upon you.

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

 

 

 

 

HotJobs - Search Thousands of New Jobs

http://www.hotjobs.com

[Guest guest]

"You have extremely noble and most kind thinking, but I think as the

sun shines and its rays fall on the trees and plants, not all flowers

bloom, some remain close petaled. Also, certain type of things are

not meant for all. Most of this world is filled with dirt and

soot. And mankind is not ready for enlightenment through higher

practice of worship. However, we can be hopeful"

 

 

Thank you for such beautiful phrase. It is indeed true... its the

hope that gives us the courage and the willingliness to go on ....

 

OM Parashaktiye Namaha