Guest guest Posted January 15, 2005 Report Share Posted January 15, 2005 I agree with this. Peace, Cathie In a message dated 1/15/2005 9:32:15 AM Mountain Standard Time, nmadasamy writes: > Hate just like any other emotions of anger, love etc are rooted deep > with in us. It is indeed a very powerful feelings. Hate can lead us > to almost anything eventually to destruction : ours and people > around us. Ancient people believes that these deeply held emotional > uses are the seed cause for the disease. Childofdevi recommend a > good book, by Louis Hay (he cant recall the name but it is very > popular, search on www.amazon.com)- at the index of the book she > gives various diseases that caused by particular psychological > issues.The only reason not to entertain hate, fear, anger etc. are > not for any moral reasons (moralists may disagree) but they cause > incalculable damage to oneself! > > I see Hate is like a deep wound that has not healed. Sometimes we > just covers our wound with layers and layers of gauze hoping that in > due time the wound will heal by iteself. But it will not. Dirty > wound needs to be cleaned first. Debris to me removed, and dead > tissues to be excise so that new tissue can grow. Only then wound > healing can take place. Evenif the wound did heal, it still leaves > scars and to some extend pain. > > Not severe but dull irritating pain. Once we try to stretch our > selves, the pain get severe, and it hurts us. That is why perhaps to > some it is the trigger point. You touch the point, they go berserk > and into uncontrolled rage. > > To remove Hate is like trying to remove the dead gangerous tissue > from the surface of our skin. It will cause bleeding, pain and > ultimately scars. We need to resolve that pain before we talk about > healing altogether. Personally I believe Healing is the first step > to any spiritual progress. So one way of solving this root problem I > think is to address this issue of pain and healing. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2005 Report Share Posted January 15, 2005 Hate just like any other emotions of anger, love etc are rooted deep with in us. It is indeed a very powerful feelings. Hate can lead us to almost anything eventually to destruction : ours and people around us. Ancient people believes that these deeply held emotional uses are the seed cause for the disease. Childofdevi recommend a good book, by Louis Hay (he cant recall the name but it is very popular, search on www.amazon.com)- at the index of the book she gives various diseases that caused by particular psychological issues.The only reason not to entertain hate, fear, anger etc. are not for any moral reasons (moralists may disagree) but they cause incalculable damage to oneself! I see Hate is like a deep wound that has not healed. Sometimes we just covers our wound with layers and layers of gauze hoping that in due time the wound will heal by iteself. But it will not. Dirty wound needs to be cleaned first. Debris to me removed, and dead tissues to be excise so that new tissue can grow. Only then wound healing can take place. Evenif the wound did heal, it still leaves scars and to some extend pain. Not severe but dull irritating pain. Once we try to stretch our selves, the pain get severe, and it hurts us. That is why perhaps to some it is the trigger point. You touch the point, they go berserk and into uncontrolled rage. To remove Hate is like trying to remove the dead gangerous tissue from the surface of our skin. It will cause bleeding, pain and ultimately scars. We need to resolve that pain before we talk about healing altogether. Personally I believe Healing is the first step to any spiritual progress. So one way of solving this root problem I think is to address this issue of pain and healing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2005 Report Share Posted January 15, 2005 I am not going to condemn people who hate, but I will say this...hate, as Nora pointed out, is a very strong emotion. I am not quick to hate, and rarely hate, because I am aware of this. If I could not hate at all, it would all be best, but no one is perfect. The same goes for anger. While I suffer from anxiety from time to time, I am pretty much jaded (or have been as of late). It takes a lot to anger me, but it is one of those things not to take lightly when it happens. When it is let out, though, I try to find a way to make peace with the anger, whether it means intellectualizing the anger or channeling the energy into something productive (though it is not healthy in the long-run, I have a bad habit of intellectualizing things). So, while we feel all these deep-rooted emotions, it is human to...as I said, I am far from perfect and I am not sure who is perfect in this world. However, we can learn how to channel the energy built up from them into something productive, though it is easier said than done. As I stated, I have a horrible habit of intellectualizing things to where I feel apathetic, but in reality, deep inside, I still feel those emotions. All that I wish of anyone, if anything at all, is that people can at least leave someone alone if they do hate them that much. We all have our faults, why spend our energy to make the issues even deeper for the person that one hates? Even the people that have hurt me...I do not hate most of them...I just love them at a respectful distance, if nothing can be mended. Why keep my distance? If I cannot mend anything, and I am bound to cause trouble around the individuals, then I am better off not escalating problems...I have faith that Devi understands my actions, since s/he knows all. Anyway, if my rambles have been useful, take what has been useful... I am glad to return to such a bright group. Blessings, An'ya NMadasamy <nmadasamy wrote: Hate just like any other emotions of anger, love etc are rooted deep with in us. It is indeed a very powerful feelings. Hate can lead us to almost anything eventually to destruction : ours and people around us. Ancient people believes that these deeply held emotional uses are the seed cause for the disease. Childofdevi recommend a good book, by Louis Hay (he cant recall the name but it is very popular, search on www.amazon.com)- at the index of the book she gives various diseases that caused by particular psychological issues.The only reason not to entertain hate, fear, anger etc. are not for any moral reasons (moralists may disagree) but they cause incalculable damage to oneself! I see Hate is like a deep wound that has not healed. Sometimes we just covers our wound with layers and layers of gauze hoping that in due time the wound will heal by iteself. But it will not. Dirty wound needs to be cleaned first. Debris to me removed, and dead tissues to be excise so that new tissue can grow. Only then wound healing can take place. Evenif the wound did heal, it still leaves scars and to some extend pain. Not severe but dull irritating pain. Once we try to stretch our selves, the pain get severe, and it hurts us. That is why perhaps to some it is the trigger point. You touch the point, they go berserk and into uncontrolled rage. To remove Hate is like trying to remove the dead gangerous tissue from the surface of our skin. It will cause bleeding, pain and ultimately scars. We need to resolve that pain before we talk about healing altogether. Personally I believe Healing is the first step to any spiritual progress. So one way of solving this root problem I think is to address this issue of pain and healing. / Mail - Find what you need with new enhanced search. Learn more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2005 Report Share Posted January 15, 2005 I am reading a book called I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was by Barbara Sher. There is a chapter called "How to Lower Your Stress Level - Feelings Management" that I want to share an excerpt from in response to this thread: "Do me a favor: Don't put on a happy face. When you feel rotten, admit it, don't try to brainwash yourself out of it. You might want to cover up in front of your boss or your clients, but NEVER HIDE YOUR REAL FEELINGS FROM YOURSELF. A whole generation has been raised on the virtues of seeing the world through "rose-colored glasses," trying to talk themselves out of what they feel, thinking they can change their situation by trying to see it differently. "I can create my own reality," they often say. Every time I hear that, I just want to cry, "Please don't create your own reality. There already is one!" Don't change the word "problem" into "challenge." A problem is a perfectly decent thing to confront, we're problem-solving animals. We like problems. They make us creative! ... Why force yourself to reshape all your natural responses when you don't have to? Nature has provided you with superb equipment to handle ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU with strength and precision, and it's called YOUR REAL FEELINGS. You pay a high price when you talk yourself out of your real feelings. ... If there's any one thing I'd love to teach you, it's this: YOUR FEELINGS WON'T KILL YOU; REPRESSING THEM MIGHT DO JUST THAT. ... The best and most natural way to manage feelings is to release them on a regular basis. ... Your feelings are there -- that's not a matter of choice -- and they'll cause trouble if you don't check in on them on a regular basis. ...sit down, take a deep breath, and say, "Hello feelings. What's going on in there? The author gives great examples of how to do this, and anecdotes showing how unacknowledged feelings can underly our behavior. She also says there are really only 4 emotions - to get more of her wisdom, you'll need to read the her book. Someone at a satsang a couple of weeks ago said something to me about my creative and personal frustration. She remarked that I was talking to the wrong people about perfectly good projects, and I was getting rebuffed which was leading to my frustration. I said: "Hm, I guess other people can see my behavior as frustration. I just thought it was my personality!" , An'ya <seclusive_nihilism> wrote: > I am not going to condemn people who hate, but I will say this...hate, as Nora pointed out, is a very strong emotion. I am not quick to hate, and rarely hate, because I am aware of this. If I could not hate at all, it would all be best, but no one is perfect. > > The same goes for anger. While I suffer from anxiety from time to time, I am pretty much jaded (or have been as of late). It takes a lot to anger me, but it is one of those things not to take lightly when it happens. When it is let out, though, I try to find a way to make peace with the anger, whether it means intellectualizing the anger or channeling the energy into something productive (though it is not healthy in the long-run, I have a bad habit of intellectualizing things). > > So, while we feel all these deep-rooted emotions, it is human to...as I said, I am far from perfect and I am not sure who is perfect in this world. However, we can learn how to channel the energy built up from them into something productive, though it is easier said than done. As I stated, I have a horrible habit of intellectualizing things to where I feel apathetic, but in reality, deep inside, I still feel those emotions. > > All that I wish of anyone, if anything at all, is that people can at least leave someone alone if they do hate them that much. We all have our faults, why spend our energy to make the issues even deeper for the person that one hates? > > Even the people that have hurt me...I do not hate most of them...I just love them at a respectful distance, if nothing can be mended. Why keep my distance? If I cannot mend anything, and I am bound to cause trouble around the individuals, then I am better off not escalating problems...I have faith that Devi understands my actions, since s/he knows all. > > Anyway, if my rambles have been useful, take what has been useful... I am glad to return to such a bright group. > > > Blessings, > An'ya > > NMadasamy <nmadasamy@s...> wrote: > > > Hate just like any other emotions of anger, love etc are rooted deep > with in us. It is indeed a very powerful feelings. Hate can lead us > to almost anything eventually to destruction : ours and people > around us. Ancient people believes that these deeply held emotional > uses are the seed cause for the disease. Childofdevi recommend a > good book, by Louis Hay (he cant recall the name but it is very > popular, search on www.amazon.com)- at the index of the book she > gives various diseases that caused by particular psychological > issues.The only reason not to entertain hate, fear, anger etc. are > not for any moral reasons (moralists may disagree) but they cause > incalculable damage to oneself! > > I see Hate is like a deep wound that has not healed. Sometimes we > just covers our wound with layers and layers of gauze hoping that in > due time the wound will heal by iteself. But it will not. Dirty > wound needs to be cleaned first. Debris to me removed, and dead > tissues to be excise so that new tissue can grow. Only then wound > healing can take place. Evenif the wound did heal, it still leaves > scars and to some extend pain. > > Not severe but dull irritating pain. Once we try to stretch our > selves, the pain get severe, and it hurts us. That is why perhaps to > some it is the trigger point. You touch the point, they go berserk > and into uncontrolled rage. > > To remove Hate is like trying to remove the dead gangerous tissue > from the surface of our skin. It will cause bleeding, pain and > ultimately scars. We need to resolve that pain before we talk about > healing altogether. Personally I believe Healing is the first step > to any spiritual progress. So one way of solving this root problem I > think is to address this issue of pain and healing. > Links > > > / > > > > > Terms of Service. > > > > > > Mail - Find what you need with new enhanced search. Learn more. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2005 Report Share Posted January 15, 2005 I know that I have the tragic flaw that I do *the intellectualizing feelings, that is*...and I have been trying to make peace with my feelings, but it is not something that can be done overnight. This habit has been with me for years, so it will take a while to uncondition me. However, thank you for the advice - it will sure help on the long road to unconditioning my unhealthier defense mechanisms. Blessings, An'ya Mary Ann <buttercookie61 wrote: I am reading a book called I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was by Barbara Sher. There is a chapter called "How to Lower Your Stress Level - Feelings Management" that I want to share an excerpt from in response to this thread: "Do me a favor: Don't put on a happy face. When you feel rotten, admit it, don't try to brainwash yourself out of it. You might want to cover up in front of your boss or your clients, but NEVER HIDE YOUR REAL FEELINGS FROM YOURSELF. A whole generation has been raised on the virtues of seeing the world through "rose-colored glasses," trying to talk themselves out of what they feel, thinking they can change their situation by trying to see it differently. "I can create my own reality," they often say. Every time I hear that, I just want to cry, "Please don't create your own reality. There already is one!" Don't change the word "problem" into "challenge." A problem is a perfectly decent thing to confront, we're problem-solving animals. We like problems. They make us creative! ... Why force yourself to reshape all your natural responses when you don't have to? Nature has provided you with superb equipment to handle ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU with strength and precision, and it's called YOUR REAL FEELINGS. You pay a high price when you talk yourself out of your real feelings. ... If there's any one thing I'd love to teach you, it's this: YOUR FEELINGS WON'T KILL YOU; REPRESSING THEM MIGHT DO JUST THAT. ... The best and most natural way to manage feelings is to release them on a regular basis. ... Your feelings are there -- that's not a matter of choice -- and they'll cause trouble if you don't check in on them on a regular basis. ...sit down, take a deep breath, and say, "Hello feelings. What's going on in there? The author gives great examples of how to do this, and anecdotes showing how unacknowledged feelings can underly our behavior. She also says there are really only 4 emotions - to get more of her wisdom, you'll need to read the her book. Someone at a satsang a couple of weeks ago said something to me about my creative and personal frustration. She remarked that I was talking to the wrong people about perfectly good projects, and I was getting rebuffed which was leading to my frustration. I said: "Hm, I guess other people can see my behavior as frustration. I just thought it was my personality!" , An'ya <seclusive_nihilism> wrote: > I am not going to condemn people who hate, but I will say this...hate, as Nora pointed out, is a very strong emotion. I am not quick to hate, and rarely hate, because I am aware of this. If I could not hate at all, it would all be best, but no one is perfect. > > The same goes for anger. While I suffer from anxiety from time to time, I am pretty much jaded (or have been as of late). It takes a lot to anger me, but it is one of those things not to take lightly when it happens. When it is let out, though, I try to find a way to make peace with the anger, whether it means intellectualizing the anger or channeling the energy into something productive (though it is not healthy in the long-run, I have a bad habit of intellectualizing things). > > So, while we feel all these deep-rooted emotions, it is human to...as I said, I am far from perfect and I am not sure who is perfect in this world. However, we can learn how to channel the energy built up from them into something productive, though it is easier said than done. As I stated, I have a horrible habit of intellectualizing things to where I feel apathetic, but in reality, deep inside, I still feel those emotions. > > All that I wish of anyone, if anything at all, is that people can at least leave someone alone if they do hate them that much. We all have our faults, why spend our energy to make the issues even deeper for the person that one hates? > > Even the people that have hurt me...I do not hate most of them...I just love them at a respectful distance, if nothing can be mended. Why keep my distance? If I cannot mend anything, and I am bound to cause trouble around the individuals, then I am better off not escalating problems...I have faith that Devi understands my actions, since s/he knows all. > > Anyway, if my rambles have been useful, take what has been useful... I am glad to return to such a bright group. > > > Blessings, > An'ya > > NMadasamy <nmadasamy@s...> wrote: > > > Hate just like any other emotions of anger, love etc are rooted deep > with in us. It is indeed a very powerful feelings. Hate can lead us > to almost anything eventually to destruction : ours and people > around us. Ancient people believes that these deeply held emotional > uses are the seed cause for the disease. Childofdevi recommend a > good book, by Louis Hay (he cant recall the name but it is very > popular, search on www.amazon.com)- at the index of the book she > gives various diseases that caused by particular psychological > issues.The only reason not to entertain hate, fear, anger etc. are > not for any moral reasons (moralists may disagree) but they cause > incalculable damage to oneself! > > I see Hate is like a deep wound that has not healed. Sometimes we > just covers our wound with layers and layers of gauze hoping that in > due time the wound will heal by iteself. But it will not. Dirty > wound needs to be cleaned first. Debris to me removed, and dead > tissues to be excise so that new tissue can grow. Only then wound > healing can take place. Evenif the wound did heal, it still leaves > scars and to some extend pain. > > Not severe but dull irritating pain. Once we try to stretch our > selves, the pain get severe, and it hurts us. That is why perhaps to > some it is the trigger point. You touch the point, they go berserk > and into uncontrolled rage. > > To remove Hate is like trying to remove the dead gangerous tissue > from the surface of our skin. It will cause bleeding, pain and > ultimately scars. We need to resolve that pain before we talk about > healing altogether. Personally I believe Healing is the first step > to any spiritual progress. So one way of solving this root problem I > think is to address this issue of pain and healing. > Links > > > / > > > > > Terms of Service. > > > > > > Mail - Find what you need with new enhanced search. Learn more. > > / Mail - 250MB free storage. Do more. Manage less. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 You are welcome. I'm certain you are not the only person who might gain something from that post. Nothing says it's an overnight kind of change. It's just about being your own witness, observing your behavior for signs that you are going into your pattern of avoidance, then just sitting down with yourself and checking in instead of acting out the behavior pattern and avoidance. I know, it sounds so *simple* , An'ya <seclusive_nihilism> wrote: > I know that I have the tragic flaw that I do *the intellectualizing feelings, that is*...and I have been trying to make peace with my feelings, but it is not something that can be done overnight. This habit has been with me for years, so it will take a while to uncondition me. However, thank you for the advice - it will sure help on the long road to unconditioning my unhealthier defense mechanisms. > > Blessings, > An'ya > > > > Mary Ann <buttercookie61> wrote: > > I am reading a book called I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew > What It Was by Barbara Sher. There is a chapter called "How to > Lower Your Stress Level - Feelings Management" that I want to > share an excerpt from in response to this thread: > > "Do me a favor: Don't put on a happy face. When you feel rotten, > admit it, don't try to brainwash yourself out of it. You might want > to cover up in front of your boss or your clients, but NEVER HIDE > YOUR REAL FEELINGS FROM YOURSELF. A whole generation > has been raised on the virtues of seeing the world through > "rose-colored glasses," trying to talk themselves out of what they > feel, thinking they can change their situation by trying to see it > differently. "I can create my own reality," they often say. > > Every time I hear that, I just want to cry, "Please don't create your > own reality. There already is one!" Don't change the word > "problem" into "challenge." A problem is a perfectly decent thing > to confront, we're problem-solving animals. We like problems. > They make us creative! ... > > Why force yourself to reshape all your natural responses when > you don't have to? Nature has provided you with superb > equipment to handle ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU with > strength and precision, and it's called YOUR REAL FEELINGS. > You pay a high price when you talk yourself out of your real > feelings. ... > > If there's any one thing I'd love to teach you, it's this: YOUR > FEELINGS WON'T KILL YOU; REPRESSING THEM MIGHT DO > JUST THAT. ... > > The best and most natural way to manage feelings is to release > them on a regular basis. ... Your feelings are there -- that's not a > matter of choice -- and they'll cause trouble if you don't check in > on them on a regular basis. ...sit down, take a deep breath, and > say, "Hello feelings. What's going on in there? > > The author gives great examples of how to do this, and > anecdotes showing how unacknowledged feelings can underly > our behavior. She also says there are really only 4 emotions - to > get more of her wisdom, you'll need to read the her book. > > Someone at a satsang a couple of weeks ago said something to > me about my creative and personal frustration. She remarked > that I was talking to the wrong people about perfectly good > projects, and I was getting rebuffed which was leading to my > frustration. I said: "Hm, I guess other people can see my > behavior as frustration. I just thought it was my personality!" > > > > , An'ya > <seclusive_nihilism> wrote: > > I am not going to condemn people who hate, but I will say > this...hate, as Nora pointed out, is a very strong emotion. I am > not quick to hate, and rarely hate, because I am aware of this. If I > could not hate at all, it would all be best, but no one is perfect. > > > > The same goes for anger. While I suffer from anxiety from time > to time, I am pretty much jaded (or have been as of late). It takes > a lot to anger me, but it is one of those things not to take lightly > when it happens. When it is let out, though, I try to find a way to > make peace with the anger, whether it means intellectualizing > the anger or channeling the energy into something productive > (though it is not healthy in the long-run, I have a bad habit of > intellectualizing things). > > > > So, while we feel all these deep-rooted emotions, it is human > to...as I said, I am far from perfect and I am not sure who is > perfect in this world. However, we can learn how to channel the > energy built up from them into something productive, though it is > easier said than done. As I stated, I have a horrible habit of > intellectualizing things to where I feel apathetic, but in reality, > deep inside, I still feel those emotions. > > > > All that I wish of anyone, if anything at all, is that people can at > least leave someone alone if they do hate them that much. We > all have our faults, why spend our energy to make the issues > even deeper for the person that one hates? > > > > Even the people that have hurt me...I do not hate most of > them...I just love them at a respectful distance, if nothing can be > mended. Why keep my distance? If I cannot mend anything, and > I am bound to cause trouble around the individuals, then I am > better off not escalating problems...I have faith that Devi > understands my actions, since s/he knows all. > > > > Anyway, if my rambles have been useful, take what has been > useful... I am glad to return to such a bright group. > > > > > > Blessings, > > An'ya > > > > NMadasamy <nmadasamy@s...> wrote: > > > > > > Hate just like any other emotions of anger, love etc are rooted > deep > > with in us. It is indeed a very powerful feelings. Hate can lead > us > > to almost anything eventually to destruction : ours and people > > around us. Ancient people believes that these deeply held > emotional > > uses are the seed cause for the disease. Childofdevi > recommend a > > good book, by Louis Hay (he cant recall the name but it is very > > popular, search on www.amazon.com)- at the index of the book > she > > gives various diseases that caused by particular psychological > > issues.The only reason not to entertain hate, fear, anger etc. > are > > not for any moral reasons (moralists may disagree) but they > cause > > incalculable damage to oneself! > > > > I see Hate is like a deep wound that has not healed. > Sometimes we > > just covers our wound with layers and layers of gauze hoping > that in > > due time the wound will heal by iteself. But it will not. Dirty > > wound needs to be cleaned first. Debris to me removed, and > dead > > tissues to be excise so that new tissue can grow. Only then > wound > > healing can take place. Evenif the wound did heal, it still leaves > > scars and to some extend pain. > > > > Not severe but dull irritating pain. Once we try to stretch our > > selves, the pain get severe, and it hurts us. That is why > perhaps to > > some it is the trigger point. You touch the point, they go berserk > > and into uncontrolled rage. > > > > To remove Hate is like trying to remove the dead gangerous > tissue > > from the surface of our skin. It will cause bleeding, pain and > > ultimately scars. We need to resolve that pain before we talk > about > > healing altogether. Personally I believe Healing is the first step > > to any spiritual progress. So one way of solving this root > problem I > > think is to address this issue of pain and healing. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Links > > > > > > / > > > > > > > > > > Terms of > Service. > > > > > > > > > > > > Mail - Find what you need with new enhanced search. > Learn more. > > > > > > > > > > > Links > > > / > > > > > Terms of Service. > > > > > > Mail - 250MB free storage. Do more. Manage less. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 In a message dated 1/15/2005 6:49:59 PM Mountain Standard Time, buttercookie61 writes: > "Do me a favor: Don't put on a happy face. When you feel rotten, > admit it, don't try to brainwash yourself out of it. You might want > to cover up in front of your boss or your clients, but NEVER HIDE > YOUR REAL FEELINGS FROM YOURSELF. A whole generation > has been raised on the virtues of seeing the world through > "rose-colored glasses," trying to talk themselves out of what they > feel, thinking they can change their situation by trying to see it > differently. "I can create my own reality," they often say. i agree with this ... peace, cathie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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