Guest guest Posted August 27, 2005 Report Share Posted August 27, 2005 Hello, I admit it fully, besides being a nice boy who has an easy smile and esier laugh I am very angry inside. Full of anger in fact! I mentioned recent legal troubles and I will confess that this too stemmed from my anger. I made the mistake of trying to have a long term relationship with a girl about 7 1/2 months and discovered she was cheating on me with someone who claimed to be my good friend. This hurt so much, more than I could handle in fact and sadly I lashed out and smacked the guy with a trident! Now the cops have my two lovely small trishulas and I cannot get them back. The problem is more complicated. When I was in India for a year she also had sex with someone else.... Now a year is a long tim, so I can't be too full of blame, but it hurts regardless because me and this person are now friends! It is a confusing messy situation. Personally, I do not want a steady girlfriend for a long time--I just cannot handle it right now. I enjoy the company of females and will seek friends, but not on that level. The girl and I are done, but I cannot clear my head of all this mess. My sleep is ruined and I constantly mull over all these things that hurt me. A part of me wants revenge on this guy who lied to me! I keep thinking of ways to hurt him and......I don't like it at all. I just want the rage and anger to stop. I am controlling them, but it still doesn't feel good. I belong focused on art and music. Any ideas on how to calm down or restore peace???? Violence and anger are not for me. I don't like these feelings at all. Love, Swastik ______________________ Check Out the new free AIM® Mail -- 2 GB of storage and industry-leading spam and email virus protection. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 27, 2005 Report Share Posted August 27, 2005 Nice to hear from you again William. I am trying to deal with internal problems myself, but I will try to answer with the best advice that I can. Do not feel ashamed to feel anger and other negative emotions, it is just natural to have emotions in general. However, one way I channel it out whenever I feel them is through either intellectualization (rationalizing them out, which I would not suggest for it has its bad ends as well...since well, those emotions are still there)......or, I try very, very hard to subliminate them. Sublimination is basically just focusing on an outlet of sort...do not feel ashamed if it means punching a pillow or punching bag of sort, or even focusing on hobbies of sort (which I am guessing you are sort of doing now). In the process, though, I would try hard to let it go. Too much attachment on such anger can lead to other consequences that will haunt you at some point or another. However, the process of healing takes a while, depending on each person (though obviously not an overnight deal!). So focus on the sublimination aspect then gradually work on the letting go aspect. Sometimes, this may mean having minimal contact with who you just broke up with and even the other people involved...sometimes, depending on the person, seeing them constantly will re-open the wounds you are trying to heal and not help in the process of letting go. Granted, this does not mean you should deny all that has happened, but you are now in the process of healing...right? Anyhow, I hope a single word of my long rambles help...lol...I am still in college so my counseling skills are not fully developed. I can only speak from experiences and advise from other wisemen/women in my life. Easier said than done, but life is meant to have its ups and downs...and it is up to you on how to deal with them. Love and blessings, An'ya/Christina --- swastik108 wrote: > Hello, > > > I admit it fully, besides being a nice boy who has > an easy smile and esier laugh I am very angry > inside. > > Full of anger in fact! I mentioned recent legal > troubles and I will confess that this too stemmed > from my anger. I made the mistake of trying to have > a long term relationship with a girl about 7 1/2 > months and discovered she was cheating on me with > someone who claimed to be my good friend. > > This hurt so much, more than I could handle in fact > and sadly I lashed out and smacked the guy with a > trident! Now the cops have my two lovely small > trishulas and I cannot get them back. > > The problem is more complicated. When I was in India > for a year she also had sex with someone else.... > Now a year is a long tim, so I can't be too full of > blame, but it hurts regardless because me and this > person are now friends! It is a confusing messy > situation. > > Personally, I do not want a steady girlfriend for a > long time--I just cannot handle it right now. I > enjoy the company of females and will seek friends, > but not on that level. > > The girl and I are done, but I cannot clear my head > of all this mess. My sleep is ruined and I > constantly mull over all these things that hurt me. > A part of me wants revenge on this guy who lied to > me! I keep thinking of ways to hurt him and......I > don't like it at all. > > I just want the rage and anger to stop. I am > controlling them, but it still doesn't feel good. I > belong focused on art and music. Any ideas on how to > calm down or restore peace???? Violence and anger > are not for me. I don't like these feelings at all. > > Love, > > Swastik > ______________________ > Check Out the new free AIM® Mail -- 2 GB of > storage and industry-leading spam and email virus > protection. > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > __ Start your day with - make it your home page http://www./r/hs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 27, 2005 Report Share Posted August 27, 2005 Hi Swastik, It looks like you are going through a very bad period, why not get an astro reading done by a good vedic astrologer - this is very insightful many times. Now about your anger... and all the other emotions, how about a simple breathing excercise - reduce your breathing to about 4 times (you need a watch to do this) or less, per minute. When you do this, you realise that YOU CANNOT FEELING BAD while doing this. Dont let the simplicity of this make you skip this. Do this at least once for 10 minutes (making it a permanent habit is absolutely recommended). Best wishes, -yogaman , swastik108@a... wrote: > Hello, > > > I admit it fully, besides being a nice boy who has an easy smile and esier laugh I am very angry inside. > > Full of anger in fact! I mentioned recent legal troubles and I will confess that this too stemmed from my anger. I made the mistake of trying to have a long term relationship with a girl about 7 1/2 months and discovered she was cheating on me with someone who claimed to be my good friend. > > This hurt so much, more than I could handle in fact and sadly I lashed out and smacked the guy with a trident! Now the cops have my two lovely small trishulas and I cannot get them back. > > The problem is more complicated. When I was in India for a year she also had sex with someone else.... Now a year is a long tim, so I can't be too full of blame, but it hurts regardless because me and this person are now friends! It is a confusing messy situation. > > Personally, I do not want a steady girlfriend for a long time--I just cannot handle it right now. I enjoy the company of females and will seek friends, but not on that level. > > The girl and I are done, but I cannot clear my head of all this mess. My sleep is ruined and I constantly mull over all these things that hurt me. A part of me wants revenge on this guy who lied to me! I keep thinking of ways to hurt him and......I don't like it at all. > > I just want the rage and anger to stop. I am controlling them, but it still doesn't feel good. I belong focused on art and music. Any ideas on how to calm down or restore peace???? Violence and anger are not for me. I don't like these feelings at all. > > Love, > > Swastik > ____________________ __ > Check Out the new free AIM® Mail -- 2 GB of storage and industry- leading spam and email virus protection. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 28, 2005 Report Share Posted August 28, 2005 Here are some emotional healing techniques from a very spiritual woman I know. If you have questions on how to use them you can write to her at her e-mail address. spiritus writes: During this time of transformation on earth, the feeling natures of all the Children of Light are coming up to be healed and uplifted. Only by feeling cosmic love, supreme happiness, grace and mercy, and all of the other feelings of the divine virtues can heaven be attracted to earth. Feelings are the magnetic feminine energy that determine which reality is attracted into physical manifestation. It is normal now that wounded feelings from the past are making themselves felt like earthquakes as the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end, brings forth heaven on earth. Feelings are the water element, and cleanse by flowing, just like water. If wounded negative feelings are denied, blocked, suppressed, medicated, dissociated from, or acted out in a destructive way, they do not heal in a natural way. Denied feelings go into the subconscious and are stored in body tissue as tension. There they continue to magnetically attract physical realities that vibrate to their frequency. When negative feelings are acted out, harm is caused and more negative feelings result. Therefore, acknowledge negative painful feelings with love and compassion just as you would acknowledge an upset or wounded child. As you acknowledge and accept negative feelings, they will naturally flow. Let them flow in your awareness in a nondestructive way. Feel your pain, your fear, your anger, your hopelessness. It is in feeling them deeply that they change and transform. Cry in a pillow, or hit a pillow if you feel tears or anger come up. Find a place where you will be undisturbed, that is private. Use eye movement, which is explained below. The two most important things to know about painful emotions is that the most powerful feelings are linked to the past, and, secondly, if painful feelings are allowed to flow freely , the memory of the original wounding event or trauma will be recalled to awareness. When the original wounding trauma is remembered, it can be healed permanently through remembering and feeling all emotions connected with it completely through. Living and reliving an old painful memory not only allows the feelings to heal through flowing and releasing, but it also allows the mind to recall facts and details that were not noticed at the time of the original trauma. Additional insights change the perception of what happened and why. As a painful memory is remembered over and over again and each time the feelings are allowed to be felt, changes of perception keep developing. These changes of perception eventually become spontaneous healing images. A memory is made up of only three things. They are feelings, mental pictures, and thoughts. Deep new insights change feelings, thoughts, and mental images. These changed feelings, mental pictures and thoughts replace the original feelings, mental pictures and thoughts. In this way, a memory is permanently changed forever. Because feelings are the water element, they must flow in order to stay pure and healthy. If a feeling is resisted, bottled up, bypassed, denied, or disassociated from they go underground where they continue to work subconsciously. Feelings must be felt in order to change them, in order to heal them. They can't be made to 'go away' through will or 'thought away' through reasoning, or medicated away etc. One of the THE LAWS OF EMOTIONS IS: WHEN FEELINGS ARE FELT, THEY CHANGE. When a feeling is negative, it must be felt through in a safe and non- destructive way. If a negative feeling is denied or acted out destructively, it cannot heal. A negative feeling can only heal by being felt through in a safe place without causing any harm to anyone or anything. Crying in a pillow, or hitting a pillow does not cause harm. It is best to accept all feelings, both negative and positive, with an attitude of unconditional all encompassing love, because love is the most powerful transformitive agent. Loving a negative feeling is like loving a frightened or angry child. Love creates the acceptance and safety for the healing to take place. It is also good to use eye movement when feeling negative feelings, because it helps the feelings process quickly. Eye Movement in Flowing Emotions Remember to use eye-movement exercise while letting emotions flow. If you are feeling a strong negative feeling in a public place and want to process it, eye movement can be done very privately by pretending to read a book or looking at a monitor as you feel the feeling. As you feel your feelings, move the eyes left to right and back and forth over and over again at a speed, from very slow to fast, that is comfortable to you. This works with the eyes opened or closed. Pay attention as the feelings flow and go through their changes. Memories and the insights will pop up. Eye movement shifts the emotional energy back and forth from one hemisphere of the brain to the other, allowing the energy to process. This is the same technique that the body uses naturally every night in dreaming. PAY ATTENTION ONLY TO THE FEELINGS, THOUGHTS, MEMORIES AND INSIGHTS THAT COME UP. THE EYE MOVEMENT ITSELF SHOULD BE AUTOMATIC AND WITHOUT THOUGHT. ******************************************* ****************** When is the best time to work on emotions?" The optimal time for healing to occur is when painful feelings come up spontaneously and naturally as a reaction to events happening in day to day life. On these occasions when you are "triggered", the negative feelings are activated, accessible right then, available to be processed without efforting. At other times if you have to "stir them up" in order to manufacture upsetness for a therapeutic session, the access will be correspondingly more limited to both the early childhood traumatic memories and feelings associated with them, and the resultant healing less complete. If you are attending weekly psychotherapy sessions scheduled at a predetermined time, then choose the most recent upsetness that is most powerfully triggered to work on. In general, if you are feeling fine, the axiom "If it isn't broken, don't fix it." is best to follow. If you have the luxury, cancel your therapy session at these times and enjoy the good feelings. Most therapy patients do it just the opposite, that is, they cancel sessions when they feel bad. The time to do emotional healing work is whenever you feel like you are NOT OK. Some people feel troubled or depressed most of the time. If that is true, it is appropriate to do emotional feeling work, such as the ten minute exercises or the trauma clearing exercise, until good feelings return. WAYS OF PROCESSING EMOTIONS Healing the Divine Feminine Force of feeling and form. PRINT OUT AND KEEP FOR FUTURE REFERENCE {based on workshops and a book in progress by Michael Schlosser PH.D} Ten Minute Exercise: This ten minute exercise will handle most painful feelings and moods that arise on a day to day basis. These instructions are a basic model that you can customize to fit your particular circumstances. Sometimes, instead of the ten minute exercise below, it is helpful to agree with your partner to listen quietly, WITH NO INTERRUPTION OR JUDGEMENT, while the partner unloads pent up feelings with no particular time limit. Regardless of what container is chosen for expressing feelings, whenever negative feelings are expressed, the rule must be agreed to and followed that there will be no acting out of violence to any person or object. It is OK to scream, cry, moan, be silent, pause and go within, be sad, be happy, or whatever, as long as no physical violence is acted out. Another rule is that the person who is facilitating, who is listening to the person who is releasing feelings, DOES NOT INTERRUPT, not even with well-intentioned gems of wisdom or comfort. The process of releasing feelings is an inward one, much like dreaming, and should not be interrupted. It is extremely important that an agreement on how the session is to be conducted is reached between the facilitator and the person releasing feelings BEFORE FEELING WORK BEGINS. Stay with this agreement unless you both mutually agree to modify it. It is also important to agree that the person who is acting as facilitator will have the opportunity to switch roles and be the one to release feelings as soon as it is possible. It is normal for the facilitator to feel upset while listening to another person release feelings. Just sit quietly and LOVE these upset feelings, perhaps using eye movement, if this happens. DO NOT INTERRUPT the person you are facilitating. When it is your time to release feelings, and the other person is the facilitator, then you can express whatever feelings are up for you. Here are the instructions for the ten minute exercise: Step 1: Get with a partner and agree on a time that is mutually agreeable to do a ten minute exercise with each other. Since each person will do at least ten minutes, allow 30 minutes or more for this emotional work . Decide on who will do the ten minute exercise described below first. The person doing the ten minute exercise is the one who is being asked a feeling question, such as "What are you feeling now?". The other person acts as facilitator. After one person does the exercise for ten minutes, switch roles and the facilitator then does the ten minute exercise and the other partner becomes the facilitator. The person being asked the question decides on which question he or she wants to be asked . If you are the one doing the exercise, and if something is bothering you, or you feel down or upset, then the question that you want might be, "What's bothering you ?" Or it might be, " What is making you feel upset?" If you feel OK, but a little stuck, the question could be something like, "What is coming up for you today?" Once you decide on a question, the facilitator asks the question out loud to you and you answer it any way that you want to. It is OK to say whatever comes up. It does not have to make sense or be rational, just say whatever pops into your mind. The facilitator DOES NOT INTERRUPT OR GIVE ADVICE...EVER. Answering the question is a deep inward process of discovery and must not be interrupted. [ As you gain skill at doing this, it is helpful to express feelings using 'juice ' words, or words relating to exactly how you feel. Juice words express emotions, such as: "I feel upset, happy, excited, angry, sad, worried, optimistic, loving, hopeful, depressed, etc." It works better to use feeling words instead of using an intellectual detached description of how you feel such as: " The finances are in terrible shape and Junior is staying out too late." An example of using a 'juice' word [ as in," where's the feeling energy?"], would be," I feel very anxious and worried about the finances. In fact, I am feeling overwhelmed and scared.I am also feeling a little anxious about Junior staying out too late." When you have finished answering the question, the facilitator acknowledges you by saying something like, "Thank you for sharing." and then asks the same question all over again. As with the first time you were asked, you answer any way you want to, saying whatever comes up. When you finish this time, the facilitator does exactly the same thing all over again, saying "Thank you for sharing" and asking the same question again. This is called the ten minute exercise because this process is usually repeated over and over again for about ten minutes, peeling off the layers of the psyche like peeling an onion. After about ten minutes, or whatever time had been previously agreed upon, partners switch roles, the facilitator becomes the one who is asked the feeling question and the other partner becomes the facilitator. [if you want to take longer or shorter than ten minutes each, this can be agreed upon by both partners to fit the situation.] In almost all situations, there are usually a mixture of feelings, some positive and some negative. A good suggestion for the ten minute exercise on a daily basis is to use what we call The POSITIVE-NEGATIVE container. In this example, the person being the facilitator first asks,"What is bothering you?" and then follows by asking "What are you feeling good about?" in the same ten minute time period. Another useful pair of positive-negative questions are: "What is upsetting you about______?" and "If all things were possible, what would make you feel better about _______?" Remember, once you decide on the question, and your partner asks it, and you give your answer--taking all the time you need--including long pauses to go within and check, your partner says "Thank you for sharing" or "thanks" and asks the question over again. The person answering the question and expressing feelings STAYS with whatever feelings come up. Often feelings will come up that are a surprise, sometimes very intense ones that have been buried in the subconscious and are ready to finally be expressed. The facilitator does not offer advice, interrupt, or try to "fix it" in any way. He/she just listens and then asks the question again when the person who is expressing feelings reaches a stopping point. In this way the layers of the psyche are peeled away...just like an onion. Emotions are expressed and released and changed. [ Emotional healing must come from inside, and the advice of another person, no matter how wise and well-intentioned, cannot substitute for inner revelations and healing.] As a Child of Light continues this process, he or she arrives at deep core feelings. Usually, just doing this much clears the air and brings a person back to balance and clarity. [if it doesn't, even after repeating it a few times, It may be necessary to do a trauma clearing. See below] **************************************** If you need to do emotional processing and do not have a partner, follow the directions exactly as if you did have one, carefully doing each step and perhaps writing down the answers. Reminder: It is helpful to use Rapid Eye Movement [REM] while surfing the feelings. This is the eye movement that the body does automatically in dreaming. Emotional processing uses many of the same neurological states as dreaming, and could be termed "a waking dream". REM is moving the eyes back and forth, right to left and back again, over and over, at any speed that is comfortable, while reliving the memories or just feeling any feelings. This shifts the emotional-thought energy back and forth from one brain hemisphere to the other and allows it to process naturally. PAY ATTENTION ONLY TO THE FEELINGS, INSIGHTS, THOUGHTS, AND MEMORIES THAT COME UP. THE EYE MOVEMENT ITSELF MUST BE ABSENTMINDED AND AUTOMATIC FOR THIS TO WORK. REM is great for doing emotional processing when you are alone. **************************************************************** , An'ya <seclusive_nihilism> wrote: > Nice to hear from you again William. > > I am trying to deal with internal problems myself, but > I will try to answer with the best advice that I can. > > Do not feel ashamed to feel anger and other negative > emotions, it is just natural to have emotions in > general. However, one way I channel it out whenever I > feel them is through either intellectualization > (rationalizing them out, which I would not suggest for > it has its bad ends as well...since well, those > emotions are still there)......or, I try very, very > hard to subliminate them. > > Sublimination is basically just focusing on an outlet > of sort...do not feel ashamed if it means punching a > pillow or punching bag of sort, or even focusing on > hobbies of sort (which I am guessing you are sort of > doing now). In the process, though, I would try hard > to let it go. Too much attachment on such anger can > lead to other consequences that will haunt you at some > point or another. However, the process of healing > takes a while, depending on each person (though > obviously not an overnight deal!). So focus on the > sublimination aspect then gradually work on the > letting go aspect. > > Sometimes, this may mean having minimal contact with > who you just broke up with and even the other people > involved...sometimes, depending on the person, seeing > them constantly will re-open the wounds you are trying > to heal and not help in the process of letting go. > Granted, this does not mean you should deny all that > has happened, but you are now in the process of > healing...right? > > Anyhow, I hope a single word of my long rambles > help...lol...I am still in college so my counseling > skills are not fully developed. I can only speak from > experiences and advise from other wisemen/women in my > life. Easier said than done, but life is meant to > have its ups and downs...and it is up to you on how to > deal with them. > > Love and blessings, > An'ya/Christina > > > > --- swastik108@a... wrote: > > > Hello, > > > > > > I admit it fully, besides being a nice boy who has > > an easy smile and esier laugh I am very angry > > inside. > > > > Full of anger in fact! I mentioned recent legal > > troubles and I will confess that this too stemmed > > from my anger. I made the mistake of trying to have > > a long term relationship with a girl about 7 1/2 > > months and discovered she was cheating on me with > > someone who claimed to be my good friend. > > > > This hurt so much, more than I could handle in fact > > and sadly I lashed out and smacked the guy with a > > trident! Now the cops have my two lovely small > > trishulas and I cannot get them back. > > > > The problem is more complicated. When I was in India > > for a year she also had sex with someone else.... > > Now a year is a long tim, so I can't be too full of > > blame, but it hurts regardless because me and this > > person are now friends! It is a confusing messy > > situation. > > > > Personally, I do not want a steady girlfriend for a > > long time--I just cannot handle it right now. I > > enjoy the company of females and will seek friends, > > but not on that level. > > > > The girl and I are done, but I cannot clear my head > > of all this mess. My sleep is ruined and I > > constantly mull over all these things that hurt me. > > A part of me wants revenge on this guy who lied to > > me! I keep thinking of ways to hurt him and......I > > don't like it at all. > > > > I just want the rage and anger to stop. I am > > controlling them, but it still doesn't feel good. I > > belong focused on art and music. Any ideas on how to > > calm down or restore peace???? Violence and anger > > are not for me. I don't like these feelings at all. > > > > Love, > > > > Swastik > > > ____________________ __ > > Check Out the new free AIM® Mail -- 2 GB of > > storage and industry-leading spam and email virus > > protection. > > > > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > > removed] > > > > > > > > > __ > Start your day with - make it your home page > http://www./r/hs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 28, 2005 Report Share Posted August 28, 2005 Hari om Swastica hard work I believe is the best therapy to subdue anger as in selfless service. If your young physical work is best one, also might consider working out at a gym or a full contact martial art that has vigorous training program. these things helps one to understand detachment helps one to observe things as a witness. Anger is a source of uncontrolled emotion when you learn to be aware of your emotion you then can then learn to use it to your advantage at will. Love can be considered as a physical emotional and spiritual in essence but in reality it is all that all that exists, it is the driving force to give meaning to our sometimes seemingly feeble existence it is that which fires the engine of the universe. Though we need only need to learn how to witness it as to fully appreciate it. In it's earth element nature and thus feeds desire of material need In its watery substance it creates a wanton of belonging to and acceptance of ones self (lower ego) When it shows as fire it drives one to truth and knowledge When its air one longs to be one with god or in within tune with the universe Once the ether element is realised one is to be and towards that of service The love you had is not lost it is there still within the realm of time and space the pain you feel due to the displacement of status is but only for a moment, although you might be a bit solum at the moment realise that it may be time to readjust your strategies, your needs and wants. it maybe time to step to the next level or take the time to witness the divine mother sowing her tapestry of her love for everyone and all. Talk to you friends tell them you are disappointed and upset with them, tell them you are upset in that you thouht they can be trusted as if they were your right arm Then appoloise for your lack of attention to detail and you didn't see it coming that caused your undue anger to erupt.(ask for there forgiveness) then go on with your life one day it may click and if you wish you might have a fulfilling lifelong tantric relationship . Very few understand Tantra as so many who profess to be tantric have displayed many shortfalls and misuse of sexual energy. They raise there head above the watery level only to but have a glimpse at the pearls and jewels. Then only to be dragged back under by the undertone of lower desire. Tantra is thus like walking a tight rope one step at a time, keep in balance and the goal constantly in sight. anger is a poison if kept unchecked you will find kidney and liver problems. Anger in the form of crystallised thoughts may cause kidney stones even worse cancer, little known is the effects it may have on the mind. Martial Arts allows if taught correctly, teaches how to apply and focus ones anger in a controlled and efficient manner. One who knows of there anger (devil within) and there ability to cause injury to others rarely uses their sidhas or accomplishments against others. Karma yoga (selfless service) will redirect your thoughts away from your own frustrations once then mudras bandhas with natural pranyama will still the mind for meditation.Thus towards the sounds within silence, and fulfilment of higher desires. Anger can be used as a tool to display that you are concerned about a situation much like adrenalin is to ready one for fight or flight. Excessive adrenalin poisons the system so does anger . When anger becomes physical or extremely emotional know that you may have temporarily lost control If you have realised that you are of good will and are belonging to sovereignty you know that you have to pick yourself back up and return to your realm, the kingdom of God within John Mathieson/Sw Jaganatha om tat sat om - <swastik108 <> Saturday, August 27, 2005 10:14 PM Freeing yourself from ANGER > Hello, > > > I admit it fully, besides being a nice boy who has an easy smile and > easier > laugh I am very angry inside. > > Full of anger in fact! I mentioned recent legal troubles and I will > confess that this too stemmed from my anger. I made the mistake of trying > to have a long term relationship with a girl about 7 1/2 months and > discovered she was cheating on me with someone who claimed to be my good > friend. > > This hurt so much, more than I could handle in fact and sadly I lashed out > and smacked the guy with a trident! Now the cops have my two lovely small > trishulas and I cannot get them back. > > The problem is more complicated. When I was in India for a year she also > had sex with someone else.... Now a year is a long tim, so I can't be too > full of blame, but it hurts regardless because me and this person are now > friends! It is a confusing messy situation. > > Personally, I do not want a steady girlfriend for a long time--I just > cannot handle it right now. I enjoy the company of females and will seek > friends, but not on that level. > > The girl and I are done, but I cannot clear my head of all this mess. My > sleep is ruined and I constantly mull over all these things that hurt me. > A part of me wants revenge on this guy who lied to me! I keep thinking of > ways to hurt him and......I don't like it at all. > > I just want the rage and anger to stop. I am controlling them, but it > still doesn't feel good. I belong focused on art and music. Any ideas on > how to calm down or restore peace???? Violence and anger are not for me. I > don't like these feelings at all. > > Love, > > Swastik > ______________________ > Check Out the new free AIM® Mail -- 2 GB of storage and industry-leading > spam and email virus protection. > > > > > > > > > Links > > > -- > > > Version: 7.0.344 / Virus Database: 267.10.16/83 - Release 26/08/2005 > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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