Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 Hi everyone,<br><br>I either need some advice or cheering up. I’ve been practicing Ashtanga yoga for about a year and still consider myself a novice. I have found myself to be in a very difficult situation. My teacher has recently taken it upon herself to start a romantic relationship with my ex-fiancé, someone who is her student and someone whom I still have strong feelings for. Apart from being devastated, I am very concerned that this will significantly affect my practice. My practice has been a significant source of strength and inspiration for me and has helped me tremendously with my personal growth. My teacher was a person who I was a close friend to and who I admired. I will not be able to offer up that level of trust again with another teacher due to the enormous feeling of betrayal I am experiencing.<br><br>I am trying to understand the best way to work through this and not let this change who I am. I will hopefully find another teacher or perhaps I will find the discipline to become a solitary practitioner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 smm141<br><br>Your 'teacher' is displaying bad judgement in hitting on someone in her class. To allow yourself to become romantically involved with a student is an abuse of power and doesn't show much self-discipline or understanding of the non-physical aspects of Yoga. Has she not heard of Brahmacharya?<br><br>If that teacher knew that the person that she was hitting on was your ex-fiancee, then she employing egregiously bad judgement and is totally out of control. Have you spoke with this 'teacher' about her behaviour and your prior relationship with the person she is after? If she was unaware, her behaviour is still a serious breach of trust but you don't have to feel quite so harmed. If she knows all the facts and still persists, then you have proof positive that she is a person to be avoided at all costs.<br><br>You are absolutely right to seek another teacher but do not let this betrayal of trust affect your relation with another teacher. Not many 'teachers' are that unethical. Keep up your practice. That alone will go a long way to easing your disappointment.<br><br>If you don't already have a meditation practice, start one. That will certainly give you the perspective that you need to move past this emotional trauma.<br><br>You might also want to speak with your ex and see if he realizes the extent of this so-called teacher's lack of principal. That realization should clue him into the probable direction that any relationship he has with the fake teacher will take. He will likely be used and abused and dumped at some convenient opportunity.<br><br>omprem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 Thank you for kind words and insight. Unfortunately my teacher was very aware of my relationship and feelings towards my ex-fiancé which is all the more reason that this situation is so painful. I think I will retreat to Kripalu for a week. I usually find that to be tremendously beneficial. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2001 Report Share Posted October 10, 2001 First, let me say that I really sympathize with you in how you're feeling now. And I think it's really impossible to go into a class and practice for someone who you don't trust and who you're very angry at .... <br><br>My advise is: try to find another teacher who you feel is a balanced and sympathetic person. *Talk* to that person before your start practicing for her or him. Explain the earlier situation, that you feel angry and that you're unsure of whether you'll be able to trust this new teacher. Then continue practice and whatever comes up during practice (if you're tight, if you have pain, if you burst out crying during practice) try to see it as the yoga refusing to let you ignore the way you're feeling.<br><br>In short, please, continue practicing, but don't expect your practice to be exactly where it was. Through it, your body and your mind will tell you very clearly that they're not happy right now, and that's the starting point for working through anger and hurt and all that.<br><br>Finally, just from my own experience of difficult periods of practice, I would advise against trying to practice on your own right now. When practice gets difficult it is good to have the support of others (not necessarily teachers, could be other students as well). It's also easier to resist the temptation to take a nap or eat a cookie instead.<br><br>Hope you work out a way of sticking with the ashtanga ... you know, even the best teacher is just a human being who can get confused, make a mess of things or get selfish and egocentrical. The real teacher is the practice ... the really good teachers are just extra good at making you realize that.<br>Take care,<br>Annika Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 13, 2001 Report Share Posted October 13, 2001 Hi omprem, that was great advice. I like your user name!<br><br>Namaste!<br>omsweetom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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