Guest guest Posted February 1, 2005 Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 I am recovering after a bad bout of depression - something that it would seem my previous Ashtanga practice 'brought out' as so many people have described it. Anyway, after many months 'off the mat' I am feeling (nearly) strong enough to get back into my practice. However, every time I feel the urge to do a session (albeit a very toned down one) I feel this intense fear indise me. Almost as if I am associating the practice with the depressive state I experienced. My initial intentions for starting a practice was to turn my back on a self destructive lifestyle. i was pretty much living the life of an Hedonist really. I mean it wasn't debauched or anything, just not healthy. So out went the smokes. the booze, the women (LOL), and the late nights. Great, I felt fantastic!!! So light, optimistic and in a good way 'proud' of my decision to embark on the path of Ashtanga. Then suddenly I became very concerned about the potential damage I had done to my body in the past...it almost seemed I was in denial. Surely all those cigarettes must have done some damage, all the booze etc.... AGHHHHH! Panic set in and I felt like I couldn't get on the mat as it was almost a reminder of my denial. Sounds odd I know! But short of going for every test under the sun to assure myself that I had a clean bill of health (unreasonable) I couldn't do it anymore. All of this turned into an obsession of sorts and then into a sort of hypochondriac like depression! So here I am all geared up - with the same worries but equally determind that they're not gonna get the better of me! Can you see my concerns? Can anyone help or advise? Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 1, 2005 Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 Tony, Your web address "sx3tony" has sx in it, is there a hidden reason? We all have different habits addictions. I've given up All Sugar, All Meat, All Caffine, All Alcohol, and most of my anger. Astanga has increased my clarity, made me deal with and come to terms with the past. Now Astanga is a measure of relationships with people, friends, family, teacher, and students in my life. I become Yogaphobic when not practicing for more then 2 day's in a row. Astanga is my drug of choice..... Live in the moment, be kind to others, and be kind to yourself. Perhaps practicing on a regular basis, with a good teacher will help you be kind to yourself. Setting an intention for your practice may also be helpful. Bob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 1, 2005 Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 Hi No, sx has no connotations...just easy to type! Tony... ashtanga yoga, "bheit2003" <bheit@e...> wrote: > > > Tony, > > Your web address "sx3tony" has sx in it, is there a hidden reason? > > We all have different habits addictions. I've given up All Sugar, All > Meat, All Caffine, All Alcohol, and most of my anger. > > Astanga has increased my clarity, made me deal with and come to terms > with the past. Now Astanga is a measure of relationships with > people, friends, family, teacher, and students in my life. I become > Yogaphobic when not practicing for more then 2 day's in a row. > Astanga is my drug of choice..... > > Live in the moment, be kind to others, and be kind to yourself. > Perhaps practicing on a regular basis, with a good teacher will help > you be kind to yourself. Setting an intention for your practice may > also be helpful. > > Bob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 Hiya, That's a great quote about the canoe and just letting the flow of yoga take you along. For me, I spent many years struggling to do my daily practice on the mat. Although I thought I knew the primary series, and knew that I needed the daily practice, still it was hard to do. My solution: Now I always practice asana at a good studio, with other good students, and a good teacher. That way the 2 hours is fun, easy, light and happy. When I tried and tried and tried to keep it up on my own, I always failed, then the guilt of not practicing caused even more trouble. Nowadays I do short practices in the morning by myself, some opening postures and pranyama and meditation. Short but sweet and happy (20-30 minutes). Then any day I am able, I go to the studio for full asana practice. Keeps me happy, balanced, and knowing that I'm doing my part each day. No more guilt, and no more psyching myself out of practice. The mind-stuff can get pretty insistent! Peace, Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 Tony, One of the underlying principles of Yoga is the notion of impermanence that we as other creatures don't live for ever. In India, before beginning to learn and practice asanas, students were taught this very principle. However, in the West, this is totally overlooked because at first this may sound a rather depressing thing. I think you've uncounciously tapped into this feeling during your initial pratice: We are all in the process of dying... However, you need to get past this feeling and a big weight will be lifted off your shoulders and you'll be happy. You are saying that you are worried that you've abused your body with smoking etc, so what? That's in the past. What's the worst thing that'll happen? You'll live 10 years less than you normally would? Think about it, how long is our life in this infinite time continuum? It is just a blip. This is called meditation on time. It's not like after you or I dies, everyone is going to party and live happily ever after! 10 years after we die, ok, 50 years after we die, do you think anyone will remember us? Does it really matter? This doesn't mean that you should stop caring about things. It is just to help you put things in perspective. So, I guess, my advice to you is stop beating and killing yourself slowly. Just look at life from a different angle and try to have a little more detachment from your body. That will help. Trust me, I know... Haigaz ashtanga yoga, "sx3tony" <sx3tony> wrote: > > > I am recovering after a bad bout of depression - something that it > would seem my previous Ashtanga practice 'brought out' as so many > people have described it. Anyway, after many months 'off the mat' I am > feeling (nearly) strong enough to get back into my practice. However, > every time I feel the urge to do a session (albeit a very toned down > one) I feel this intense fear indise me. Almost as if I am associating > the practice with the depressive state I experienced. > > My initial intentions for starting a practice was to turn my back on a > self destructive lifestyle. i was pretty much living the life of an > Hedonist really. I mean it wasn't debauched or anything, just not > healthy. So out went the smokes. the booze, the women (LOL), and the > late nights. > > Great, I felt fantastic!!! So light, optimistic and in a good way > 'proud' of my decision to embark on the path of Ashtanga. Then > suddenly I became very concerned about the potential damage I had done > to my body in the past...it almost seemed I was in denial. Surely all > those cigarettes must have done some damage, all the booze etc.... > AGHHHHH! Panic set in and I felt like I couldn't get on the mat as it > was almost a reminder of my denial. > > Sounds odd I know! But short of going for every test under the sun to > assure myself that I had a clean bill of health (unreasonable) I > couldn't do it anymore. All of this turned into an obsession of sorts > and then into a sort of hypochondriac like depression! > > So here I am all geared up - with the same worries but equally > determind that they're not gonna get the better of me! > > Can you see my concerns? > > Can anyone help or advise? > > Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2005 Report Share Posted February 17, 2005 In Truth: YOU are a perfect spiritual creation on a human journey. Human nature is to trip up and learn, err and learn. Enjoy the journey! C-: > > It's like I have two choices: > > 1) I am the man who made a change for the better and should be proud > of the fact that I have made major changes in my life that are for the > better. > > 2) I am the idiot who led an hedonistic lifetyle and shouldn't kid > myself that I am a new man just because I have embarked on a yoga > trip. > > Cheers! > > T... > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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