ashtanga yoga Yogaphobia

[Guest guest]

Well done you ! ! !

 

I did a practice the other day and had the opposite effect. I am not

blaming the practice at all though, don't mnisunderstand me. Its

just that I suspect that there is something deep rooted here that is

inhibiting me from doing (or rather actually 'enjoying') my

practice. I guess I am after certainties in an uncertain world.

 

I am concious that these posts my depress others who are otherwise

happy in their practice so I will leave now.

 

Tony...

[Guest guest]

thanks guys for sharing your experience. I, too, am sharing a similar

experience. For years I was an incessant party animal. I'd make it to yoga

when I could, usually about once a week. Then after a particularly

difficult night of debauchery I decided it was time to get well. I stopped

drinking, practiced yoga about three times a week and about 3 months into it

I started have debilitating panic attacks. There were moments I was too

afraid to leave my apartment. I stopped practicing yoga for about six

months. I was a mess trying to manage my anxiety with a non-addictive

prescription drug.

 

Finally I made it back to my mat. I just wanted to let go of everything

that was causing so much craziness in my life. That is when it all began.

I wanted to let go. There were somedays it felt like yoga was going to

bring me to my knees. I felt so hollow inside and had such a sense of

desperation. I felt yoga was making me more depressed. I eased up on some

of the self help stuff I was doing, but knew for some reason I needed to

stick with yoga. There were times, during savasana, that all I wanted to do

was cry and cry and cry.

 

One night, after a particularly tough emotional time during yoga I went to

bed quite early. I noticed that my chest felt like it was on fire, but the

rest of my body was cool. I realized that my yoga practice, the building of

my internal heat and my desire to "just let go" was burning through the

negative emotions.

 

I still have my days. There are times I still want to go out and party, but

now I know I have the strength to seek something better for myself. I

cannot begin to describe, in depth, how much yoga has changed my life. You

have no idea how much power is contained in the words "Practice and all else

is coming."

 

shanti,

Steven

[Guest guest]

Have you tried practicing with a friend or two? Maybe

even someone without much experience of yoga than you

can gently introduce to it?

 

I think it could really help. A year ago I started

practicing with a friend at work at lunchtimes (just

in a meeting room in our office), and it's just so

much more enjoyable than practicing on my own, and

more light-hearted than a class. Now other people have

joined us and we practice twice a week, but it's still

fun and we laugh a lot.

 

I think it helps that the alternative to practice

would just be to stew away at my desk, but also like

so many things in life, it's just more fun with

someone else. You're not left with the mental space to

doubt yourself, you just do the practice in the

moment, without over-thinking and analysing it and

yourself.

[Guest guest]

Steven, what a beautiful testimony.

Good luck with your practice.

Namaste

 

Luiz