Self abasement by Nammaazhvaar

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Naichyananusandham by Nammaazhvaar

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Naichyanusandhanam is present in many Nammaazhvaar

paasurams. Like Thiru Mazhisai Azhvaar and

Thondaradippodi, Nammaazhvaar also uses the term

"naayEn" (the dog that I am). Other terms of self

abasement he uses include "siRiya NYaanaththan" (of

limited wisdom), "siRu thagaiyEn" (of limited

accomplishments), "EzhaiyEn" (destitute), etc. But

the Azhvaar's favorite term seems to be "paaviyEn"

(the sinner that I am). A common theme is that he

blames himself as "paaviyEn" for not being able to

physically witness the Lord. But an interesting

twist may be found in Thiruvaaymozhi 4.7.3. In

this paasuram, the Azhvaar seems to trick the Lord

into showing Himself up. The Azhvaar pleads with

the Lord, "Why are you not showing yourself to me?

Have I committed so many evil deeds? Why don't you

come in front of me and tell me that I am a sinner

and that is why you can't show your physical

presence to me"! (Nice try!!)

 

eevilaadha theevinaigaL eththanai seydhanankol?

thaavi vaiyam konda endhaay! dhaamOdharaa!' enRenRu

koovik koovi nencurugik kaNpani sOra ninRaal,

'paavi nee' yenRonRu sollaay paaviyEn kaaNavandhE

 

-- Thiruvaaymozhi 4.7.3:

 

("O! Damodhara, my Lord who conquered

this earth with your divine feet! I

am crying out loud with tears in my

eyes and my heart melting away.

Perhaps I am guilty of endless evil

deeds. Why don't you appear in front of

me, a known sinner, and tell me, 'You are

a sinner (and that is why I can't appear

before you)'.")

 

 

kruthya akaraNam, akruthya karaNam

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Here, Nammaazhvaar gives a definiton of a sinner.

There are two conditions. One is to not do

what the Lord has enjoined (kruthya akaraNam).

The second is to do what is forbidden (akruthya

karaNam). (What is enjoined and what is forbidden

are to be known from Saasthraas as intrepreted by

one's qualified Acharaya.) In Thiruvaaymozhi 3.2.6,

Nammaazhvaar declares that he fulfils these two

conditions.

 

kiRpan killEn enRilan muna naaLaal,

aRpa saarangaL avai suvaithu aganRu ozinthEn,

paRpal aayiram uyirseytha paramaa, nin

naRpon sOthi thaaL naNuguvathu eNYNYaanRE?

 

-- Thiruvaaymozhi 3.2.6

 

(kiRpan = will do, killEn = will not do)

 

(From beginningless time I abstained from

doing what is to be done; further, I did

what is forbidden. Thus removed from your

grace, I hankered after worthless

pleasures and wasted away. O! the Creator

of all the thousands of lives, when will I

get close to your brilliant and golden

divine feet.)

 

 

neesanEn, niRai onRum ilEn

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Of all the self-abasing phrases the most desperate

one is found in Thiruvaaymozhi 3.3.4. The emotion

this phrase generates is indescribable. One can

even say that this single phrase renders the title

of this prabhandham, Thiruvaaymozhi (Divine

truths), inaccurate. But then, what the Azhvaar is

doing is dramatically illustrate (i) the contrast

between "samsaram" and "mOksham" and (ii) the natural

"vatsalyam" of our Lord towards us. He says,

"What is so great about ThiruvEngadavan being the

Lord of the Nithyasoories? After all, they

(nithyasoories) are free of any sin and full of

merit. Who wouldn't want to Lord over them? Now,

look at me, I am the very antithesis, full of sin

and free of any merit. Yet, the Lord loves me.

Don't you agree, this why He is truly great?"

 

Isan vaanavarku enpan enRaal,athu

thEsamO thiruvEngadath thaanukku?,

neesanEn niRai onRum ilEn en kaN

paasam vaittha parancudar sOthikkE.

 

-- Thiruvaaymozhi 3.3.3

 

(He is the Lord of all nithyasoories. But

that is not impressive for the Lord of

ThiruvEngadam. (What is really remarkable

is that) He, the heavenly brilliant light,

has placed His affection in me, a lowlife,

devoid of any merit.)

 

 

-- adiyEn

 

 

 

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