Thiruvaaimozhi 4.7- Sundhara VadivE- unnaik kaaNa Vaa!

[Guest guest]

SRI:

 

Dearest Sisters and Brothers,

 

AzhwAr, in the last decad, was unconscious (as Parangusa nayaki). After

hearing the DwarakA pathi's sweet name, he got his senses back and

became fully vibrant yet again. Immediately, he has started longing for

the Lord and asks Him to come in front of him.

 

1. Seelamillaach chiRiyEn- (As humbly referred by our dearest Sadagopan

a week back as "seelamillaach chiRiyEn-) I have no good discipline; I am

a small lowly self; The sins I have committed are HUGE. But You are the

Personification of jnAnA, the Murthy, who swallowed and retained the

entire universe and protected it. From here, I am raising both my hands

above my head and am paying obeisance to You. I am calling You as "

NarayaNA!" But Your Divine Physical ThirumEni is not visible to me. At

least why don't You take me there? I know it is all due to my big, Great

sins committed, lack of discipline and I am bound to suffer without

being called by You nor Your showing Yourself to me with Your Beautiful

Form.

 

2. EmperumaanE!, the One who keeps giving us the Perennial enjoyment

always to the fullest satisfaction and bliss! Oh VaamanA! - Like that I

have been yelling day and night from here. I have no strength even to

call You now. Please have mercy and grant me to see You to my sinful

eyes. (Having shown Yourself in my mind is not enough- I should see You

physically!)

 

3. Have I committed so many sins even after experiencing so much

sorrows and punishments? I do not know. Even then, even if I have

committed enormous never ending sins, can You,- The Most Capable Lord of

mine- The One who has done the Most Rarest, Wonderful acts before- NOT

come to save me? You are my only savior. DamOdharA, The One who measured

the Entire universe by keeing one Foot here and the Other in the sky!-

like that I have been calling You, remorse with tears rolling down

cheeks endlessly- Okay. Do not show Yourself for my enjoyment. But

ATLEAST COME AND TELL ME! "you are a mahA paapi ". Please come and tell

me that word at least. (AzhwAr refers to His sowlabhyam and praises Him

by calling Him DamOdhara- the stomach that shows the rope marks on it

still- rope that was tied by YasOdhA)

 

4. Thinking of You in my mind alone is not adequate. Please show

Yourself in front of my eyes and make me blissful. Oh My Father, The One

who shines like a Golden Form! How Great are Your Glories! You are The

One who can be enjoyed by incomparable NityasUris, who are unatttached

to this materialistic world; Your form can NOT be seen even by the Great

BrahmA, Sivan et al! You are SO GREATEST LORD! I have no shame to even

think of seeing such Greatest Lord with my eyes- What is the use of my

yelling (with all such enormous sins to my account) to see You?

 

5. My father! The One who has the Most strongest weapons with You! Oh

Sarvashakthi JagannAthA! (The One who enabled dEvAs to churn the Big

Milk Ocean!) I have been weltering to see Your Most Beautiful four

shoulders with my eyes. My life is getting dried up. Will You come now?

Will You come at least now? - Like that I am foolishly and anxiously,

longing to see You, Lord!

 

6. EmperumaanE! Sriman NarayanA! You are staying in my body. You are

also in my jIvan. Not only that; You are also very much present in my

senses; There is nothing in which You do not stay. Forever, at all times

and at all places, uninterruptedly, You are there in everything as an

AntharAthmA. Even after knowing and realizing all these such Great

attributes of Yours, still, I would like to see Your Most Beautiful

Divine ThirumEni with my eyes to my fullest satisfaction. I desire this

simply because I am a useless, ignorant fool (Ignorant fool- aRivu

kettavan- because had he known completely of Lord's form - anthar

bahischatascharya vyApya nArAyaNaschithah:- He exists everywhere-inside

and outside- The very fact that azhwAr still wants to see Him because he

considers himself as less knowledgeable of His existence.)

 

7. AzhwAr declares here that he has realized Him in his mind! Oh

EmpiraanE! The One who has the Most Fragrant ThuLasi maalai on His

chest! With Your grace and mercy, I got the jnAnam and that led me to

know Your Most Auspicious attribute and obtained ParipporNa Anandham in

my clear mind. My vibharItha jnAnam (of attaching myself to the body and

the births and deaths- its viscious cycle) is all removed. This alone is

Not my desire, Lord! I am not yelling and suffering and calling You with

such names for that alone. With my physical eyes, I wish to enjoy Your

Divyamaana ThirumEni azhaghu beautifully adorned with The Thirutthuzhaay

maalai on that Most Beautiful Chest. (Even while reading, we also long

to see the Lord in that form- Don't we?)

 

8. Oh Lord!, The One who has The Most Fragrant ThuLasi Garland on Your

body! You should come in the same form for our Anandham as exactly You

show Yourself for NityasUris' enjoyment. While I keep on looking at Your

Most Beautiful Lotus Eyes with fullest blissful satisfaction and

pErAnandham, my both hands will collect the handfuls of lots of fragrant

flowers, gathered from all directions of the world, and shower them most

lovingly at Your Lotus Feet and I will sing praising Your Glories foe

ever and ever. At least to vent our love and bhakti to You, You should

come and show Yourself to us, Your eternal servants. Will You not do

that?

 

9. I have never offered any food to those poor hungry people; I have

never quenched anyone's thirst by offering little bit of water; I have

never done any karma yOgham like that; Did I at least stay put in my

jnAna yOghA? No. I could never control my five senses and I always

failed in my attempts. I have never even uttered Your name and performed

Nama sankIrthan. (all this is not applicable for AzhwAr- It is most

appropriate for us- dear ones! He has sung on our behalf!) But my mind,

with His grace has immersed itself in His Glories and has been thinking

of Him. It is not able to get out of that. Even though it is in such a

situation, I have committed so much sins for my disability to see Him

and His Divine form in front of my eyes. Even if He comes, I will still

be searching His form with my both hands and will never be able to see

Him. Where will I see Him and How? (AzhwAr wishes to hold Him like the

way Yasodha held Him in her hands.)

 

10. He showed me His ChakrA and he enslaved me. Oh Lord, EmperumaanE!

-Like that I am seeing in all directions to see You and hug You with

both my hands. I am weltering and remorse with tears. MahApaai, I am. I

am not able to see His Divine Form. But I have seen Him in my jnAnakkaN

(the inner eye). That Emperumaan is the brightest light of VedAs. He is

the Personification of JnAnA. I will always enjoy Him with my inner eye.

With that vision, the inner vision, I will hug His Beautiful Body

tightly with both my arms. Because of my prEmA for Him, I am also

suffering being unable to see Him physically. (AzhwAr says: The jnAnA

and Bhakti have thus hugged me and held my neck tightly)

 

11. Even if I decide to leave, it appears it will never go away- like

that the love for Him has grown in me; - Thus Sri SadagOpar has sung

thousand pAsurams in excellent Tamil on Emperumaan KaNNa Piraan, The Red

Lotus Beautiful Eyed Lord. Out of those 1000, readers of this set of ten

pAsurams (and its meanings) will DEFINITELY reach Sri Vaikuntam.

 

NammAzhwAr thiruvadigaLE saraNam

 

 

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