Thiruvaaimozhi 5.5- aiyO! ivan azhagennai koLLai koNdathE!

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SrI:

 

Dearest Sisters and Brothers,

 

Past ten verses, AzhwAr suffered due to the

L.......O......N....G......DARK.. chill night. When it dawned, she

became slightly better and thinking of Emperumaan’s sowndharya

ThirumEni, she felt happy and excited. She also felt sad because of her

inability to see His physical form with her eyes. Her mother and friends

advise her not to hurt herself with such thoughts and that will not do

good to her feminine nature. ParAnghusa nAyaki explains them in these

ten verses about the beauty of Emperumaan at Thirukkurungudi and her

falling love with such Divine form of Narayanan.

 

1. Oh mother! Don’t you know my nature and present state of affairs?

How can you get angry with me? Instead, should you not console me, who

is remorse with tears after losing myself in the Divine Beauty of

Thirukkurungudi Nambhi?. In fact, you all should get angry with that

Most exquisite Beautiful form of Nambhi for haunting my mind with so

much madness. You should appreciate me for falling in love with such

Great Beauty. He is the Most precious treasure and wealth. When He

stands so beautifully with sanghu and chakrA, How can I ever attempt to

forget that beauty? What a BEAUTY is He! His Red Lotus Eyes are so

Beautiful and graceful. His lips are so reddish like a red fruit

(BimbhA- kovvaippazham). My mind has seen such beauties that He shows

Himself to me; It will never leave my mind. My heart has surrendered to

His beauty. What can I do?

 

2. Oh mother! Please don’t get angry with me. You will understand my

state if you perceive the mind that has lost itself in love completely

to Emperumaan’s beauty. (Then, You will realise "Oh aiyO what all did we

say to her and scold her?- says nampiLLai). After enjoying

Thirukkurungudi nambhi’s beauty, How can I forget Him? In His big body

like the blue clouds, look at that lovely Golden upaveedham (pooNool,

the sacred thread). The Most beautiful ornaments on His chest and the

irremovable SrI Vathsam have all captured my heart totally. Those huge,

Big, broad four shoulders are like the well grown kaRpaka tree. Wherever

I see, whichever direction it may be, I see His beauty in front of my

eyes and that arrests my mind.

 

3. You are all getting wild with me for my state. Do you actually know

why? I have lost myself completely after seeing Thirukkurungudi Nambhi’s

Most Gorgeous Beautiful form. He captures His bhaktAs with His Beauty

and wins over His opponents with His weapons. The strongest bow, maze,

sword, chakrA and sanghu have all appeared in front of my eyes and

allured me. Not just that; They have even filled into my mind

completely.

 

4. If I leave Nambhi, I will not be able to live; You all know that,

mother. Even after seeing my tears continuously rolling down the cheeks,

you get angry with me. How can I forget that Beauty of Thirukkurungudi

Nambhi. What a ThirumEni azhaghu He possesses with that Most Fragrant

ThuLsi on His Head! It has robbed my heart, ammA! That Golden yellow

silk PeethAmbharam adorning His waist and the jewels there are just by

my side only. What to do? Even though they are here, I am not able to

hug them, ammA!

 

5. This girl has been looking at that direction waiting for Emperumaan-

Like that you all have been scolding me angrily. I have even offered my

jIvan to Him, that Thirukkurungudi Nambhi, after seeing and falling for

His Beauty. His lovely red mouth, like the red fruit, His long,

beautiful eyebrows and those lovely red lotus eyes have stayed in my

mind and have put me in this state, ammA!

 

6. I have been longing to see Nambhi. But, My mother has determined NOT

to let me see Him any more; else I will go further crazy after Him.

After seeing and having enjoyed His Divine Beauty, His form has entered

into my heart and has captured me. His long, large eyes, His long,

sharp, nose like creeper, His dark bright ThirumEni, His four shoulders,

have all filled my heart completely. Hence, there is no place to listen

and keep my mother’s word.

 

7. She is giving such a name to this family, which no one else can

remove- Like that my mother says and does not even let me see Him

(Thirukkurungudi Nambhi). After seeing the most Glorious, Most Beautiful

form of Thirukkurungudi Nambhi, the flood of His Beauty has filled my

mind and has even entered into my heart and filled entirely brimful. The

way He shows Himself with the Sanghu and ChakrA in His hands is the

totality of Beauty and fills me COMPLETELY. (Here: The mother of

Parangusha nayaki is reported to have told that her daughter is

tarnishing the name by going to see Thirukkurungudi Nambhi. It is

interpreted by NampiLLai as "We should eagerly look forward to

Emperumaan’s mercy and grace / dayA to take us to His Lotus Feet;

Instead, AzhwAr takes personal efforts to go to Him, which is what her

mother is against and says tarnishing the family tradition of

anticipating eagerly for Emperumaan’s grace. Same concept of NirhEthuka

kataaksham"- There is also a story: ANdAL, wife of kUratthAzhwAn, showed

Paraasar Bhattar and Vyasar to kUrEsar and said "they have attained

marriageable age; why are you still silent about them?". KUrEsar said,

"If that is so, ask Emperumaan.". he took them to PerumAL and stood

there. PerumAl asks "It appears you are going to tell, tell me,

kUrEsarE!". KUresar said "They have reached marriageable age". PerumAL

replied "we will arrange for their weddings and bring the perfect match

for them.". And He did arrange and conduct the weddings. So it is all

His Kataaksham)

 

8. You, mothers are scolding me saying that I have been suffering and

continuously crying with my hands covering my soft and tender face,

unable to bear the pangs of separation from Him. After seeing such

MARVELLOUS BEAUTY at Thirukkurungudi, His shining Divine form and the

Divya tEjas is troubling me literally. His Red lotus like eyes, that

lovely hip, small waist, that square shoulders and beautiful ThirumEni

(body), those shoulders where His long, curly hairs play, - they all

have completely captured me. (Here the beauty of first line- Even her

hands make that soft face get hurt. The face is meant to be touched only

by her Lord’ hands; that alone will make her face enjoy; rest will only

make the face suffer. Inner meaning as told by NampiLLai: The athman

enjoys only ParamAthmA’s take over. Nothing else will satisfy the

jIvAthmA. They all only hurt the jIvAthmA)

 

9. You have grown so far without showing yourself to others as a

complete vilakshaNam for a good, chaste lady; Now you have come in front

of every body else without bothering about it- Like that, mothers, you

have been scolding me. What can I do? What else can I do after seeing

Nambhi’s beauty; The kireetam (crown) so nicely placed on His Head, The

Personification of Beauty has entered into my mind completely and

refuses to go out. He ALONE is the sum total of excellent taste of

sugarcane juice, milk and nectar. Whatever measures I take to forget

Him, He keeps staying in my mind and is not leaving. It is completely my

DISBILITY AND BEYOND MY CONTROL. Please do not scold me like that.

 

10. Lovers, if separated, as days pass by, forget each other. (Small

absence enhances love; long absences extinguish it) But, for me, it is

the other way; As seconds tick, the love for Him expands exponentially

and I languish more and more. No body else can get to know the Beauty of

Thirukkurungudi Nambhi that has filled my mind so completely. Isn’t His

jyOthiswarUpam unmatched, unparalleled one? Those NityasUris have all

assembled in Groups to pay obeisance to Him. Among that flood of His

Beauty, He stands as a personification of Greatest shining, most

enjoyable Form. Whatever way, whoever he is, one can NOT attempt to know

Him with their own efforts. Hence, I JUST SIMPLY CAN NOT forget His

Form, since I have been blessed by his grace to enjoy His Beauty. In as

much as I can NEVER forget His Beauty, others can NEVER get to know

that. (Had they known that Beauty, they would have agreed with me)

 

11. Emperumaan is the SarvEshwaran, who can NOT be simply understood by

someone’s own efforts. (He has to be known only by His mercy on us).

Sri Sadagopar has composed 1000 Pasurams as flowers and offered them to

that SarvEshwaran. Those who read these ten out of those 1000, will be

SrI VaishNavas on this earth. (means, even if they are in samsaaric

ocean, they are SrI VaishNavas and are considered equal to NityasUris.)

 

AzhwAr thiruvadigaLE saraNam

 

 

 

Ram Ram

 

With Best Regards

 

NarayaNa dAsan madhavakkannan

 

 

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