Guest guest Posted July 17, 2001 Report Share Posted July 17, 2001 Dear Srivaishanvas, I've been a regular reader of the bhakti group. Couple of days back i was hearing yayati's prabhavam by sri krishna premi. There he was explaining about marriages. he was telling that a brahmana can marry a kshatriya/vaysa/other caste women, but a brahmana woman cannot marry anybody other than a brahmana. My question here is two fold. 1) Can some body explain why this is so? is this mentioned in the shastras? 2) Then can an iyer woman marry an iyengar man & vice versa? Please excuse if i have unintentionally hurt anybody's feelings. adiyen, Anand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 17, 2001 Report Share Posted July 17, 2001 The way I would interpret it: 1. Our society like many others is a patriarchal. Gotram, as well as property etc of the father is taken both by wife and the children. 2. Marriage is considered not just between the individuals for sensuous pleasure but for upbringing a family. 3. It is likely that father being the head of the family will insure that the customs and traditions including samskaara-s and vedic rituals are followed by his sons. Hence even if he marries other casts the traditions and culture is not degraded. Vyaasa was born to a fisher-girl, yet ended up as paarashara, as the greatest scholar. 4. A woman marrying a non-brahman will end up with culture that belongs to her husband and it is unlikely that she will be able to provide the needed environment - spiritual, cultural, educational and financial backing needed for the maintenance of the culture she was born with. 5. Looking from these angels it is obvious why the rules have been laid down that way. 6. These rules follow (Manu) dharma shaastra not really the shruti-s. ------- Regarding the question of iyer versus iyengar - All are Brahmins - Only sagotra is not sanctioned to avoid marrying in the same family. Otherwise there are no restrictions. But from the family traditions one has to make sure the families are compatible. Otherwise one will be more unhappy! Traditionally Iyengars being Srivaishhnavates and Iyer being Saivates, one can run into problem in terms of following the rituals at home. Gods may not have a problem but the followers of god will end up having problem. One has to watch out. Hari Om! Sadananda >Dear Srivaishanvas, > > I've been a regular reader of the bhakti group. Couple of days back >i was hearing yayati's prabhavam by sri krishna premi. There he was >explaining about marriages. he was telling that a brahmana can marry a >kshatriya/vaysa/other caste women, but a brahmana woman cannot marry anybody >other than a brahmana. My question here is two fold. 1) Can some body >explain why this is so? is this mentioned in the shastras? 2) Then can an >iyer woman marry an iyengar man & vice versa? > >Please excuse if i have unintentionally hurt anybody's feelings. > >adiyen, >Anand. > >----------------------------- > - SrImate rAmAnujAya namaH - >To Post a message, send it to: bhakti-list >Archives: http://ramanuja.org/sv/bhakti/archives/ > > >Your use of is subject to -- K. Sadananda Code 6323 Naval Research Laboratory Washington D.C. 20375 Voice (202)767-2117 Fax:(202)767-2623 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 17, 2001 Report Share Posted July 17, 2001 Dear sri Anand, Sri sadananda has written on this already. I just wanted to add my 2cents worth. 1. Most youngsters ie. of marriageable age don't realize what they are getting into since "iyer" and "iyengar" does not mean anything to them in a serious way. Other factors become important in their minds and these issues slip through unnoticed. One has to understand what a custom can do to people. How would you follow a simple principle "mere to giridhar gopal, dusaro na koi" (or deep devotion to srimannarayana which is essential for prapatti or bhakti - without anya devatha samparka (relations with anya devatas) on a daily basis, If a srivaishnavaite marries an iyer (predominantly saivite)?. I am not saying it is impossible but is difficult. 2. Call me "immature". Atleast I have fooled many people successfully that I am interested in vedanta philosophy and spend a lot of time on it. After 20 years of such studies and contemplation, even today I will be unable to focus on srimannarayana in my home when I do aradhanam to saligramams If I have other devata murthys or Lingams in my puja griham (altar). Particularly if my wife teaches and brings up my children in a non-pure vaishnava way, it will affect me a lot on a daily basis. I clearly know that "srimannarayana is antaryami and " angani anya devatah".. taittiriupanisad). However daily practice is difficult. Why is this so? Very simple "objects are more powerful than senses" - indriyebhya parahyarthah ie. what you see (ie. images of deities) affect your daily life and are stronger than our control of senses. However I do know of people who can focus well. But I cannot. Even if elders can focus, what examples can be given to children who grow up around them? 3. I was very open when I was going to get married ( 17 years back). However, my grandfather cautioned me :" you should be open and kind to everyone and treat all traditions with respect. But you should make decisions that will make you follow your culture with ease. It will be very difficult to instill a different tradition to a woman who comes as a bride or a man who comes as a bridegroom into a different family. Samskaras which form a personality are difficult to change over years. During the first few years before and after marriage there may be a lot of apparent adjustments to keep each other happy. However, during later years, differences stand out as big as a nose on the face which you cannot avoid noticing!" 4. I know that there are lot of exceptions to these issues. However, the general trends don't change. 5. I Just thought of sharing these so that it may be useful to those who are planning to get into the next phase of their lives. How is this related to Vedanta? You bet your life and your vedantic thoughts will be governed by your close associates and daily activities. When I was young I used to dream that I will always be surrounded by brilliant philosophers who will guide me eternally. In modern times, A couple spend more time in life together than a teacher / student. Acharya sishya relationship is so needed and so difficult to get. Like how Lord Krishna ends his Gita, so I state " yathecchasi tatha uru". - The information is provided... you do what you feel is right for you having thought about all these issues. Adiyen Krishna. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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