Does ego exists in the Present?

[Guest guest]

>Gummuluru Murthy <gmurthy

>

>Why does the ego not have existence in the present? My perception is:

>it is the ego's thinking that there is a past and a future that sets up

>the tri-kAlAs. Without that thinking, there are no tri-kAlAs, it (the

>kAlA) is always in the ever-present mode.

>

>The only situation when ego is not present is in the deep sleep or in

>the wake-up state at realization. Am I correct in that thinking?

>

>> [rest of the fine article deleted]

>

>

>Regards

>Gummuluru Murthy

>------

 

Does Ego exist in the present? This is a very good question. To

appreciate this in full implication, one has to understand what is ego? -

 

Here are my thoughts.

 

What is ego? If some one asks me who am I, the response I give to that

question defines my ego.

 

Most of the answer pertains to my past - I am so and so, born this and this

place, to these parents, married to this person, father of this person,

studied this and this, working at such and place, etc.

Or the answer related to my future aspirations, expectations, fears and

frustrations, goals and so on.

 

Thus the answer pertains to my relations to the past up to this last

fraction of the second or to the future first fraction of the next second

and beyond.

 

At present who am I?

 

Other than a conscious existent entity that is present any answer pertains

to past or future. At the present I can only answer as "I am" - any further

addition is adjective qualifying the past or future.

 

At Present there is no Time factor - since it requires two to define the

time - past and present and present and future. The present is a dynamic

present ( moving coordinate system always at the origin zero on the time

scale!)- where there is only the presence of the conscious, existent

entity. Interestingly all actions can only be done in the present and

enjoyments can only be done in the present. But 'I am' only there in the

present - not as this or that but just as I am. That is the reason why if

one tries to go after this ego to find who this fellow is, he will

disappear since he has no existence in the present. What is present is

only "I am" without any qualifications.

 

I am this and that may be statement one can make in the present. I am not

even sure any more if this statement is even correct - since the statement

is the reflection of the thought that is just gone. In fact, if one asks a

question what is a thought - thought itself is a reflection of the past

memory, which includes about my future aspirations and fears stored as past

in my memory. Memory is loaded with not only the objective knowledge -

chemistry, physics etc. which may not have any thing to do with me, but my

subjective notions about the past, present and future. Identity with the

subjective notions is the ego which is the false 'i'. When I know who

really I am, my false notions about myself fall, but the objective knowlege

- padaartha vijNaana - remains.

 

What is ego - true answer cannot be given since it is not true. Hence all

the rattling answer is given above!

 

I give up!

 

But before I really do, Here is what I remember from Bhagavan Shankara's

definition of ego given in the VivekachuuDaamaNi -Please check the sloka

if I have given correctly.

 

nigadyatentahkaraNam manodhiiH,

ahamkRiti chitta miti swavRittibhiH

manastu sankalpa vikalpa naadhibhiH

buddi padartha vyavasaaya dharmataH

atraabhimaana ahamityahamkritiH

swaarthanu sandhaana guneNa chittam||

 

Here he divides the antah karaNa (inner instrument) - into four aspects -

manas, buddhi, ahankaar and chitta- all thought process, but classified

into four based on the nature of the thoughts.

oscillating thoughts - sankalpa and vikalpa - to do or not to do - is the mind.

Determining or discriminating thoughts and the thoughts involving the

knowledge of the padaartha - for example - chemistry etc. - are buddhi.

' atra abhimaana - aham iti - there (thoughts related to mind and

intellect) possessiveness or longingness (includes durabhimaana), I like

this and not that etc with the notion that aham iti - I am this - is the

ahankaara or ego. Hence abhimaana includes the mamakaara - this is mine

notion. Hence ego involves - I am this and this is mine- both notions.

But 'this' refers is the memory of the thoughts of the mind and intellect.

 

If I can truly identify with what exists in the present since that is that

really counts then - that is the supreme ego! - aham Brahmaasmi! - When I

have that BIG EGO - no more identification that ' i am only this and this'

- I am the total without any exclusions. That EGO is eternal which is

eternally present in the present.

 

Hari Om!

Sadananda

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

K. Sadananda

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