Thy ownself [1]

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Thy ownself

 

Jeddah, 23/7/2000, 4AM

 

"tatpadaM darSitaM yEna tasmaiSree guravEnamaH"

 

Every human is a king of his own inner kingdom! The thing that we call as human

is an abstract being. When we deal with any human, we are subtly dealing with

the individual self --- the Ego! In sanskrit this is called as Ahamkara, also

called as JeevabhAva.

 

I wonder whether you ever peeled an onion! When you start peeling an onion,

taking off every sheath, one after the other, finally nothing remains in your

hand, because all the onion consists is an array of sheaths. Same way, human

also consists of sheaths visible/invisible! That is the reason why I said human

is an abstract being. The Physical body which consists five sense organs and

five organs of work; The mental body and the casual body all these are sheaths

of human.

 

A person may look dark at his physical body level due to his skin complexion. If

anybody, who deals with this dark skinned fellow, discriminates him saying he

got dark complexion then that person could be identified as dealing with the

Physical sheath of human! A person may be a great writer, he may have written

wonderful stories, which are quite enchanting. Imagine any fan of him, they are

all in adoration towards the storywriter's mental body. A writer is another

abstract being, called human, who is imagining things at his mental body level

and writing. Same way a scientist might get name and fame due to his

intellectual prowess, still when somebody deals with him, is really dealing with

his mental body. This is how we involve ourselves with the world.

 

I question "do you know me"? If your answer is "Yes of course! You are Madhava"

then you are wrong! If you answer is "Yes you are so and so, born so and so,

working as so and so., husband of so and so, father of so and so." then also you

are wrong. Perhaps, my question could never be answered, "Do you know me?". Then

I wonder "Do I know you?", if I presume that you are all so and so, then I am

wrong. Perhaps, this question can not be answered now... "Who are you?". Neither

I know myself, nor I know you. Neither you know me, nor you know about yourself.

We all identify each other with the help of the sheaths. The funny thing is that

I identify myself with my sheaths and act in the world. If I don't identify then

I can't act. I identify myself as a computer professional and I work. I identify

myself as a husband, as a father, as a son, as a brother and I act accordingly.

But then "who am I" who is putting on such wonderful act! I should be an actor

then, yes I am, and the world is my stage, all fellow humans are my co-artists.

Everybody has his or her role to play, and I have my own!

 

During the times of deep meditations we get rid of all other sheaths, or forms

of identifications, and reach to a state where we confront our own Ego. We don't

know how to transcend it, we stop there and get amazed with the play that the

Ego is putting on with the world. We stop to marvel at the power of the Ego,

which is the commander-in-chief, the Ego the king. We fall in trap with the Ego

and fall back. This is exactly where we come out of meditation. Did you ever

wonder what forces you out of meditation? Imagine you sat for meditation, after

some time the alarm goes off, you get up and attend your ablutions. Is that the

alarm, which has forced you out of meditation? NO! It is the Ego, which forced

you out of meditation. It says "Hey! You can't sit in meditation for long

because you got to do so and so work, you got to go for a walk, you got to fetch

the milk." The "I" keeps certain tasks at hand in order to go into meditation

and gets out of the meditation recalling all those tasks. Imagine if you have

nothing to do and then you went to meditation, then you can stay there

comfortably for some more time, yet you will come out of it because then your

Ego forces you out in order to perform the bodily functions, hunger, thirst etc.

 

Did you ever wonder about the color of the Ego? Yes, there is a color to the

Ego, it is Gold, pure Gold. An attractive Yellow color, reaching which you are

forced back from meditations. It is rare that one can encounter ones own ego in

meditations, but it is possible. But the moment you reach that state you start

crying, you go in to ecstasy. You are like a tennis ball and It is like reaching

a wall, hitting which you bounce back. Each meditation is a game, removing all

obstacles you reach the edge... and you bounce back... It is like a water pond,

you are a ripple trying to reach your source, you hit the source you bounce

back...

 

All our great seers have cried to transcend this Ego. They begged for the help

of their most dearly deity so that they could get out of it. For example in our

Esopanishad the Seer requests the SunGod to remove the veil, which is in golden

color, which is veiling the truth. (pushan tvaM apAvRuNu satya dharmArtha

drushTayE)

 

Let us see how the I is playing all this wonderful drama..

 

[TO BE CONTINUED..]

 

I remain yours,

 

Madhava