My life (11c) : samadhi -end of it

[Guest guest]

The night is passing by and then my mind is chanting the stotra the beautiful

discription of Lord Shiva "Brahmanda vyapta dEhaa bhasita himarucA bhAsamAnA

bujaMgaiH".. His body has occupied the whole universe, he is wearing a creasent

as an ornament on his forehead... My thoughts made me look towards the crescent

moon... Then I have started seeing him... The whole sky has become vibrant and

something started happening to me... The crescent looked at me as if it is

holding the key... As if a person in the darkness who is searching the room door

can find the door by the small light which peeps through the keyhole, I found a

way to look at him... I have started looking at the crescent... I felt my

wholebody had become featherlite... I was lifted into the sky... I was thrown

down again on a very soft surface... I stoodup but I didnot feel my legs, I

satdown... The whole universe gave me a different look. And I saw him... The

omniscient omnipotent allpervading him, standing tall in the sky just like it is

described in the stotra.... He is too big to grasp, too big to the sences to

grasp... I was shaken.... All of a sudden I felt fear, which has been an unknown

thing to me all the while.... But now, I am afraid.... And I have closed my

eyes... By the time I open my eyes... The sky has become normal... But I saw him

in human form standing in front of me.... AND that moment has changed my entire

life.... And it is still writing the future course of my life... And he keeps

guiding me forever... Can I explain how he looked? NO... Can I tell you how I

felt? NO... It was an experience which I have longed for... And I have

slowly drifted again in to a state.... He has become a transperent blue ocean of

lite to me... Slowly I have merged in to it... Then I have seen...

 

I can see everything --- all my past.... All my past lives have passed in front

of me. I have seen myself as many enlightned souls. I was that so-called

Srotriya and Brahmanistha, I was that Sankara who was adored by all those

people. I was that Buddha... I was that avadhuta... I was that great devotee of

Lord Vishnu... And I was that great Asura who hated Vishnu... I was many.... I

have seen more than past 700 lifes of mine, but seeing more would do no good AND

I have realized... I have realized that I am... And I am/was in a deep blue

ocean of light..

 

There I see many bubbles each one beginning as small growing big, changing

colors and then bursting. I see myself in each bubble. Then I was a great king

once with all the wealth I could enjoy, with all the luxory, but one day grief

stricken I cursed my own wealth, I begged OH GOD why am I born in these golden

chains, I wish I am born as a begger or as somebody.... There in that deep blue

ocean my own voice has echoed and it has created ripples touched all the bubbles

and lo the next moment I see myself manifested as another bubble, this time a

terrible begger; a begger who was hated by everybody, some children were

throwing stones at me, unable to bare the pain I cried out loud again OH GOD

what did I do? why am I born in this kind of misery... I wish I live a peaceful

life... AND there in that deepblue ocean of light my own voice has echoed again,

again created ripples again I see myself born as an imbessile, by birth I was

deaf, dumb, can't move my legs.... I dont know what is hunger, I dont know how

or why to go to toilet.... I am flesh which is just living, breathing.... I am

at obsolute PEACE, a peace that is all which I wanted, but then during that life

--- one fine day I came in to a little senses --- I saw a woman crying out loud!

I saw a man trying to conceal the pain in his heart bravely and trying to

console her saying "GOD gives us children... we must have sinned a lot in our

past lives that is why we got this kind of child".... I looked at that child....

LO it was me! in that living flesh, as a result of my obsolute peace.... But

then the moment I saw those people crying out loud, out of pure love towards

me... I wished again... I wished "OH GOD...I why am I born like this these two

parents of mine are so kind and loving I wish I take out their misery, I wish I

am born as a perfect child to give them happyness"...

 

Again, in that deep blue ocean of light my own voice has echoed. It has touched

all the bubbles, in front of me the bubble of that flesh living in peace has

bursted, and immediately another bubble is created. I am there to those same

parents who were crying out earlier, happily playing in their hands... They seem

to be so contented that I am born as a happychild! I have realized that I can

do anything undertheir protection. But then I seem to have overstepped the

rules of the society, I have become a big robber, looted the treasery of the

king and the king has hanged me. Before executing the king has allowed me a

wish.... There I wished again "OH GOD! I want to be a king"...

 

Again in that deep blue ocean my voice has echoed... I see all bubbles I am back

in to the bubble where I have started my journey... Again from there I tread

through another path... Becoming a greatly respected siddhapurusha, but then to

become another bubble! All along there is this wish I could make.... And the

wish is making all that happen. Then I have realized that I am.... I have

realized that all this is happening because of my wish.... And then I wished...

I wished "OH GOD! I wish I dont have the power to wish"... But I seem to have

made a wrong wish! I has taken me to some life where I lived another

insignificant life.... Again after undergoing a lots of bubbles, finally I had a

chance again to realize.... Then I have realized that I am.... Do they call this

realization "Nirvikalpasamadhi"! I dont know.... But you are the deep blue

ocean, you are the bursting bubble all along... You have the power to wish....

AGAIN I have realized that all this is happening because of my wish.... And then

I HAVE STOPPED WISHING.... I have remained as I am, living my life as it is

supposed to live. Do they call that as "Sahajasamadhi"? I dont know...

 

I dont remember how long I was there.... But while continuing the search in the

bubbles, I have come to this life.... And my teacher was smiling and she

appeared right infront of me.... She was healing my hurting wounds... She has

become my mother and feeding me with her hands.... I was very hungry and I was

crying to eat more.... The more I ate the more she gave... And she told me with

her compassionate voice "Madhava! now it is time for you to return.... To

continue as you are....". I was woken up by a person who came to search for

me... Ashram people were worried that I am gone for long. They told me that

Swamini Saradapriyananda gave a call from Tirupati and told them to search for

me at this spot.... Which has confirmed my faith in my teacher, a teacher who

knew in and through of me... A teacher who cares. She is the embodiment of

Goddess Saraswati the giver of immortal education, she is the Mother Annapurna

who feeds the spiritual hungry.. She is my everything who has helped me go

through my experiences.

 

The person who came to take me down had to literally carry me down the hill.

Then I had to take rest for a few days. After a few days Swamini Amma has

returned back to the ashram, the first thing she did was to see me. The first

instruction she gave me was "Now that you know all...Behave humble...". That

instruction meant a lot to me. And my proximity with Lord Shiva and all other

Pramathas has increased and my teacher was a part of all those regular

experiences. Often I witness the deepblue ocean of light.... All the time I

used to share my expreinces with her, she used to instruct what needs to be

done. Now you can imagine how much her physical departure did hurt me...

 

Oneday I was sitting all by myself again and I told to myself "SO YOU REALIZED!

BIG DEAL!". I did not let the life change me after that... but I let myself

carried on by the life.... just like that a feather gets carried out by wind and

by dust, but sun and the moon, till it reaches it eternal rest.

 

 

(I will continue further when ever he wishes...)

 

Om tat sat...

 

Yours,

Madhava

 

--

 

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[Guest guest]

respected mr madhava

we feel proud to be associated with people like u

with regards

n k bali

 

 

--- Madhava Turumella <madhava wrote: >

The night is passing by and then my mind is chanting

> the stotra the beautiful discription of Lord Shiva

> "Brahmanda vyapta dEhaa bhasita himarucA bhAsamAnA

> bujaMgaiH".. His body has occupied the whole

> universe, he is wearing a creasent as an ornament on

> his forehead... My thoughts made me look towards the

> crescent moon... Then I have started seeing him...

> The whole sky has become vibrant and something

> started happening to me... The crescent looked at me

> as if it is holding the key... As if a person in the

> darkness who is searching the room door can find the

> door by the small light which peeps through the

> keyhole, I found a way to look at him... I have

> started looking at the crescent... I felt my

> wholebody had become featherlite... I was lifted

> into the sky... I was thrown down again on a very

> soft surface... I stoodup but I didnot feel my legs,

> I satdown... The whole universe gave me a different

> look. And I saw him... The omniscient omnipotent

> allpervading him, standing tall in the sky just like

> it is described in the stotra.... He is too big to

> grasp, too big to the sences to grasp... I was

> shaken.... All of a sudden I felt fear, which has

> been an unknown thing to me all the while.... But

> now, I am afraid.... And I have closed my eyes... By

> the time I open my eyes... The sky has become

> normal... But I saw him in human form standing in

> front of me.... AND that moment has changed my

> entire life.... And it is still writing the future

> course of my life... And he keeps guiding me

> forever... Can I explain how he looked? NO... Can

> I tell you how I felt? NO... It was an experience

> which I have longed for... And I have slowly

> drifted again in to a state.... He has become a

> transperent blue ocean of lite to me... Slowly I

> have merged in to it... Then I have seen...

>

> I can see everything --- all my past.... All my

> past lives have passed in front of me. I have seen

> myself as many enlightned souls. I was that

> so-called Srotriya and Brahmanistha, I was that

> Sankara who was adored by all those people. I was

> that Buddha... I was that avadhuta... I was that

> great devotee of Lord Vishnu... And I was that great

> Asura who hated Vishnu... I was many.... I have

> seen more than past 700 lifes of mine, but seeing

> more would do no good AND I have realized... I have

> realized that I am... And I am/was in a deep blue

> ocean of light..

>

> There I see many bubbles each one beginning as small

> growing big, changing colors and then bursting. I

> see myself in each bubble. Then I was a great king

> once with all the wealth I could enjoy, with all the

> luxory, but one day grief stricken I cursed my own

> wealth, I begged OH GOD why am I born in these

> golden chains, I wish I am born as a begger or as

> somebody.... There in that deep blue ocean my own

> voice has echoed and it has created ripples touched

> all the bubbles and lo the next moment I see myself

> manifested as another bubble, this time a terrible

> begger; a begger who was hated by everybody, some

> children were throwing stones at me, unable to bare

> the pain I cried out loud again OH GOD what did I

> do? why am I born in this kind of misery... I wish I

> live a peaceful life... AND there in that deepblue

> ocean of light my own voice has echoed again, again

> created ripples again I see myself born as an

> imbessile, by birth I was deaf, dumb, can't move my

> legs.... I dont know what is hunger, I dont know how

> or why to go to toilet.... I am flesh which is just

> living, breathing.... I am at obsolute PEACE, a

> peace that is all which I wanted, but then during

> that life --- one fine day I came in to a little

> senses --- I saw a woman crying out loud! I saw a

> man trying to conceal the pain in his heart bravely

> and trying to console her saying "GOD gives us

> children... we must have sinned a lot in our past

> lives that is why we got this kind of child".... I

> looked at that child.... LO it was me! in that

> living flesh, as a result of my obsolute peace....

> But then the moment I saw those people crying out

> loud, out of pure love towards me... I wished

> again... I wished "OH GOD...I why am I born like

> this these two parents of mine are so kind and

> loving I wish I take out their misery, I wish I am

> born as a perfect child to give them happyness"...

>

> Again, in that deep blue ocean of light my own voice

> has echoed. It has touched all the bubbles, in

> front of me the bubble of that flesh living in peace

> has bursted, and immediately another bubble is

> created. I am there to those same parents who were

> crying out earlier, happily playing in their

> hands... They seem to be so contented that I am born

> as a happychild! I have realized that I can do

> anything undertheir protection. But then I seem to

> have overstepped the rules of the society, I have

> become a big robber, looted the treasery of the king

> and the king has hanged me. Before executing the

> king has allowed me a wish.... There I wished again

> "OH GOD! I want to be a king"...

>

> Again in that deep blue ocean my voice has echoed...

> I see all bubbles I am back in to the bubble where I

> have started my journey... Again from there I tread

> through another path... Becoming a greatly respected

> siddhapurusha, but then to become another bubble!

> All along there is this wish I could make.... And

> the wish is making all that happen. Then I have

> realized that I am.... I have realized that all this

> is happening because of my wish.... And then I

> wished... I wished "OH GOD! I wish I dont have the

> power to wish"... But I seem to have made a wrong

> wish! I has taken me to some life where I lived

> another insignificant life.... Again after

> undergoing a lots of bubbles, finally I had a chance

> again to realize.... Then I have realized that I

> am.... Do they call this realization

> "Nirvikalpasamadhi"! I dont know.... But you are

> the deep blue ocean, you are the bursting bubble all

> along... You have the power to wish.... AGAIN I have

> realized that all this is happening because of my

> wish.... And then I HAVE STOPPED WISHING.... I have

> remained as I am, living my life as it is supposed

> to live. Do they call that as "Sahajasamadhi"? I

> dont know...

>

> I dont remember how long I was there.... But while

> continuing the search in the bubbles, I have come to

> this life.... And my teacher was smiling and she

> appeared right infront of me.... She was healing my

> hurting wounds... She has become my mother and

> feeding me with her hands.... I was very hungry and

> I was crying to eat more.... The more I ate the more

> she gave... And she told me with her compassionate

> voice "Madhava! now it is time for you to

> return.... To continue as you are....". I was woken

> up by a person who came to search for me... Ashram

> people were worried that I am gone for long. They

> told me that Swamini Saradapriyananda gave a call

> from Tirupati and told them to search for me at this

> spot.... Which has confirmed my faith in my teacher,

> a teacher who knew in and through of me... A teacher

> who cares. She is the embodiment of Goddess

> Saraswati the giver of immortal education, she is

> the Mother Annapurna who feeds the spiritual

> hungry.. She is my everything who has helped me go

> through my experiences.

>

> The person who came to take me down had to literally

> carry me down the hill. Then I had to take rest for

> a few days. After a few days Swamini Amma has

> returned back to the ashram, the first thing she did

> was to see me. The first instruction she gave me

> was "Now that you know all...Behave humble...".

> That instruction meant a lot to me. And my

> proximity with Lord Shiva and all other Pramathas

> has increased and my teacher was a part of all those

> regular experiences. Often I witness the deepblue

> ocean of light.... All the time I used to share my

> expreinces with her, she used to instruct what needs

> to be done. Now you can imagine how much her

> physical departure did hurt me...

>

> Oneday I was sitting all by myself again and I told

> to myself "SO YOU REALIZED! BIG DEAL!". I did not

> let the life change me after that... but I let

> myself carried on by the life.... just like that a

> feather gets carried out by wind and by dust, but

> sun and the moon, till it reaches it eternal rest.

>

>

> (I will continue further when ever he wishes...)

>

> Om tat sat...

>

> Yours,

> Madhava

>

> --

>

> _____________

> Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at

> Mail.com

> http://www.mail.com/?sr=signup

>

>

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>

>

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>

 

=====

 

with best wishes,

 

N.K.BALI

 

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[Guest guest]

Shri Madhva wrote..

> And I saw him... The omniscient omnipotent

> allpervading him, standing tall in the sky just

> like it is described in the stotra.... He is too big

> to grasp, too big to the sences to grasp... I was

> shaken....... But I saw him in human form standing >

> in front of me.... AND that moment has changed my

> entire life.... And it is still writing the future

> course of my life... And he keeps guiding me

> forever.

Hari Om,

Dear Madhava,

Your moving account reinforces our faith

in our spiritual ways.

 

By the way, you did not mention what happened to the

rebuilding of the ashram which was devasted by

cyclone.

Did the graduation ceremony of dharmaveer course take

place and did Swami Chainmayananda visit it as per

schedule?

Pranams.

P.B.V.Rajan

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Dear Rajan,

 

Hari Om!

 

Thanks for reminding me! In deed, I was there on the mountain for total 7

days. After getting down to the earth, it is again a duty for me to help

rebuild the ashram. The ashram has received a lot of money in the form of

donations so that we could build it better than it was previously there. We

also had surplus money so that a beautiful Shiva temple (in the shape of a

Shivalinga) was also constructed inside the ashram. Our gurudev Swamy

Chinmayananda came in the end of December and gave us certificates and also

performed the Pranapratistha for the linga in the newly constructed

Shivatemple. What more! My other teacher late Sri Kotayyagaru (FYI: He is the

meternal uncle to the present Jagadguru Sri Bhartitirtha of Sringeri -- Sri

Kotayyagaru and Sri Bharatitirtha's mother shared the same womb), who has given

me the mantropadESa and gave me glimpses in to the world of the real tantra and

mantra, was the chief priest --- on the request of my teacher Swamini

Saradapriyananda he performed and overseen the magnificient vedic ritual of

Pranapritistha... In deed, there were more experiences to follow before the

pranapratistha, I will share them when he permits.

 

By the time our Gurudev Swamy Chinmayanandaji came to the Ashram, there was not

even a hint left that just 3 months back this Ashram was completely destroyed!

On that occassion Swamy Chinmayanada said these words: "I am impressed by

Saradas (he calls his student, my teacher as "Sarada") remarkable work of

making these Dharmaviras. I am really impressed with the progress of

Dharmavira Madhava, and his remarkable work of help rebuilding this ashram in

such a short time! After looking at the course and its intention --- I am

shamelessly trying to copy this course... I am hereby instructing our CCMT

(Central Chinmaya Mission Trust) to design a course called --- not Dharmaveeras

(Heroes of Dharma) but Dharmasevaks (Servants of Dhrama).

 

Actually, that was the beginning of Sandipany Sadhanaalayas (run by Chinmaya

Mission http://www.chinmaya.org) started a short time courses of Vedanta

called "Dharma Seveks".

 

And my teacher Swamini Saradapriyananda said these words on that

occassion: "When I first heard that the Ashram is completely destroyed, the

first thing I did was to write to Gurudev. And he immediately instructed me --

nothing is an accident in this world everything is an incident when it is

destroyed by him, he will construct it. Despatch your army of Dharmaviras...".

 

 

I was the only one who is seriously undergoing the course there. Actually, by

the time Gurudev's letter has reached my teacher, she had already despatched

me :-)...

 

Looking back --- I feel blessed for being utilized as a servant for such an

occassion...

 

 

Yours,

Madhava

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quoting Rajan PBV <rajanpbv:

> Shri Madhva wrote..

> > And I saw him... The omniscient omnipotent

> > allpervading him, standing tall in the sky just

> > like it is described in the stotra.... He is too big

> > to grasp, too big to the sences to grasp... I was

> > shaken....... But I saw him in human form standing >

> > in front of me.... AND that moment has changed my

> > entire life.... And it is still writing the future

> > course of my life... And he keeps guiding me

> > forever.

> Hari Om,

> Dear Madhava,

> Your moving account reinforces our faith

> in our spiritual ways.

>

> By the way, you did not mention what happened to the

> rebuilding of the ashram which was devasted by

> cyclone.

> Did the graduation ceremony of dharmaveer course take

> place and did Swami Chainmayananda visit it as per

> schedule?

> Pranams.

> P.B.V.Rajan

[Guest guest]

After reading Madhavaji's remarkable account, I felt a heart full of gratitude.

It certainly has rekindled in me faith and hope that Lord Shiva's darshan can

happen even in this lifetime. Sometimes I feel like it is a losing battle,

since I don't have anything in particular going for me. I don't have much

background in scriptural knowledge, I am not very disciplined in my sadhana, my

bhakti is not what it should be, etc... Only thing I feel is very intense

longing, seemingly causeless and unconditional. Advaitins are saying that

scriptural knowledge is the only means to attain liberation. Is that true?

Wouldn't that eliminate someone like me as a candidate? Can not Lord Shiva

Himself guide me to the non-dual state?

 

Regards,

Gasusima

[Guest guest]

Namaste Gasusimaji

 

All of us are entitled to this knowledge. On our part we can always pray to

Maheshwara to bless us with a guru who is well versed in the scriptures and

a brahmanishtaa. After all the Guru is none other than Ishwara himself.

Let us pray.

>

> Gasusima [sMTP:Gasusima]

> Monday, January 07, 2002 5:15 PM

> advaitin

> Re: My life (11c) : samadhi -end of it

>

>

> After reading Madhavaji's remarkable account, I felt a heart full of

> gratitude. It certainly has rekindled in me faith and hope that Lord

> Shiva's darshan can happen even in this lifetime. Sometimes I feel like

> it is a losing battle, since I don't have anything in particular going for

> me. I don't have much background in scriptural knowledge, I am not very

> disciplined in my sadhana, my bhakti is not what it should be, etc... Only

> thing I feel is very intense longing, seemingly causeless and

> unconditional. Advaitins are saying that scriptural knowledge is the only

> means to attain liberation. Is that true? Wouldn't that eliminate

> someone like me as a candidate? Can not Lord Shiva Himself guide me to

> the non-dual state?

>

> Regards,

> Gasusima

>

>

>

>

> Discussion of Shankara's Advaita Vedanta Philosophy of nonseparablity of

> Atman and Brahman.

> Advaitin List Archives available at:

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> To Post a message send an email to : advaitin

> Messages Archived at: advaitin/messages

>

>

>

> Your use of is subject to

>

[Guest guest]

--- Gasusima <Gasusima wrote:

> After reading Madhavaji's remarkable account, I

> felt a heart full of gratitude. ... Only thing I

>feel is very intense longing, seemingly causeless

> and unconditional. Advaitins are saying that

>scriptural knowledge is the only means to >attain

..liberation. Wouldn't that eliminate someone >like

me as a candidate? Can not Lord Shiva Himself

> guide me to the non-dual state?

 

Dear Gasusimaji,

 

Namskar,

You are already a qualififed candidate by your

expression of longing. If that is combined with your

filling the mind with thoughts of God's consciousness,

(by any one of the means available to you) that is a

good enough for liberation of the soul from its

existing condition to the next level. No knowledge of

Vednata is required. This is as per Swami

Ashokananda's book, now being posted in summary form.

 

Your doubt is quite common in India as, more than

99.99% of the population do not have access to

vednatic text in its original form or the arrangement

of being taught by a qualififed Guru. However most of

them have similar longing as you have. Hence the

number of various alternative routes already discussed

widely in this forum. There are instances of devote

ladies like Mira bai (in north india) and Kodai Andal

(in south india) who have achieved union with God,in

recorded history- not mythology, without going through

the formal-"Advaitin-as per-scriputres" route.

 

We must also interpret Shri Madhavji's postings in the

correct perspective. When I asked him in person that

why such experiences do not happen to me or to others

- and I asked this question while on a seashore in

Jeddah, he said looking at the waves- "Rajan all the

waves reach the shore. Should the wave number 10 worry

why the wave no 1 is reaching the shore- there is no

need- your turn will come- this is the design of the

universe." It was obvious I could not do several

things he did, but I kept looking for some better

easy-to-do solutions, I found a lot of answers - some

from him, some from his Guru- Swamini

Sharadapriyananda and now more recently by reading the

book of Swami Ashokananda.

 

What I understood (and accept at the moment)is that

humans are at different levels of consciousness

depending on their own past deeds and still capable of

changing their future destiny by efforts they must put

on themselves, to reach back to godhood- if they wish.

However there is a theory with strong advoactes and a

devoted following, that even all these efforts need

not be done, "if", it is realized- by formal means

that - you are God- but that is a big "If". Till that

time, there is no harm- as I see it- to go the beaten

path and follow the Karma- Bakthi routes as well as

stive towards Gyana.

Hari Om.

P.B.V.Rajan

 

 

 

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