Psychology and Metaphysics-12

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Psychology and Metaphysics 12

 

 

Teleology and the Brahman-Self Again

 

I am ETHICAL with a an innate competence to discriminate the right from the

wrong in my own way and in which I agree with others but not always. Though many

Muslims sincerely believe it is RIGHT to destroy temples because they perpetuate

idolatry, I cannot agree with them. Despite all my metaphysical illuminations

because of philosophic interest, I find myself wandering to the temple and

exalt the deities there particularly Siva Nadarajah in whose contemplation I

continuously get many meaningful and profound metaphysical

illuminations. So I am not only in conflict with myself but also with others or

at least with some.

 

Thus ethical life is both a life of agreement and disagreement and where

sometimes the disagreements can take violent turns where even the ordinary

individuals become crazy with a maddening mob psychology where only

irrationalities hold sway. But this is also a LESSON to me - later when I become

cool and free of that, I reflect back and realize that I can be taken over by

irrationalities and ACT against my will as if taken over or possessed by some

demons outside me and there somewhere.

 

But am I prone to be thus forever? Cannot I be FREE of this stressful ethical

life where I continuously feel joy and remorse alternatingly, where I feel so

guilt prone that I feel so so miserable full of angst and anguish?

 

With this question I enter into another kind of hermeneutic investigation about

myself. Now my ethical self itself becomes the TEXT where the Surface Structure

is my Ethical Self, the one whose has value systems and also one who develops

value systems one after another. What was good before is no more so and what was

despicable before now becomes something very close to the heart. I cannot

resolve my ethical values but only transpose myself from one to another and this

inner transposition ASCEND from a value system initially very barbaric into

something more humane etc.

 

Thus as an ethical individual I DEVELOP, grow up as an individuals in which

because of the inner conflicts and the excruciating pains I suffer , I

DISCONSTRUCT myself and evolve as an individual with higher and more noble kind

of ethical values.

 

At this point I realize that while the whole universe may be cyclic, emerging

being-there, dissolving and emerging again and so forth, I in contrast, is

caught up with a TELEOLOGY - there is a sense of direction for my existential

struggles, there is a TOWARDS-WHICH that is already within me and which is

taking me towards a higher plane of existence and that too without me being

aware of it. The ethical struggles are instituted within me for a purpose, it

would appear, to take me towards a higher ground where the whole of existence

would become qualitatively different.

 

Thus as the Deep Structure of my ethical self lies a notion of a LIMIT, a self I

can be and here it would appear a self that would have TRANSCENDED functioning

with ethical value systems and thus become post-ethical. There is a PURE-SELF

as a possibility within me in which I am NOT possessed by any of the deimons,

good or bad but shine forth in just in PURE LIGHT, in PURE RADIANCE in which no

ethical values arise and in which I am also FREED of the existential involvement

which always come along with moral struggles of some kind of other.

 

This SELF is then the Sunyata, the Brahman-Self but now seen as the Absolutely

Pure, that which is freed from all deimons that fetter me into the worldly and

existence of the average. I may , just as a heuristic to keep me away from the

worldly lures of political power sexual bliss social popularity etc., tell

myself it is all Maya, a Magical Play for trapping me and binding me down,

temporarily forgetting that I arose from that entrapment and that I have always

the possibility for FALLING back. I cheat myself, become inauthentic but all in

order to prevent falling back into the lure of the world. I become ASCETIC and

try to keep myself hygienically pure by keeping AWAY the world of the ordinary

life and walk around as the Brahmanjaani,

with the eyes totally closed to the world, calling that viyavakarika, something

I should AVOID, and keep myself well entrenched in the paramartika, through

saravaNam mananam Nittyasanam and so forth. I should study only the Vedantic

texts that untiringly proclaim that the Viyavakarika world is a MAGICAL TRAP and

hence something I should AVOID at whatever cost, saying NETI NETI etc.

 

The Siva-Self

 

While such a Brahman-Self that cheats itself about the world may be appealing to

some, I feel that is NOT my authentic self and there is a SELF beneath it that

I should seek out and understand. But why am I not satisfied with this

Brahman-Self and should seek something even deeper ?

 

The Brahman-Self is LOVELESS self, it does NOT CARE for the world and the

ordinary people there. It DISMISSES the suffering humanity by avoiding as

despicable; my Brahman-Self NEGATES them rather mercilessly and makes me a

TYRANT of a kind where I Live among them but in total INDIFFERENCE to their

plights, a heartless monster who kills them with INDIFFERENCE but at the same

seeking out their adulation and worship. While remaining indifferent to their

problems in life, I seek out their worship, unquestioning obedience in which

they listen to me and do as told without any hesitations.

 

This hypocrisy hits me hard and makes feel that is NOT my authentic self for I

notice that in my ethical development , the higher values compared to the lower

have MORE LOVE in them that as progress as a person and become more and more

HUMANE I also become more and more LOVING. While I negate only the lower I

accept and rejoice at the higher including the aesthetical. My feelings have

undergone a TRANSFORMATION because of my ethical struggles so that I am MORE

LOVING and CARING. I forget about my own needs, I become less egocentric and

hence less negating and more accepting. My LOVE gets extended from the narrow

circle of my friends and relatives, community and nation towards the WHOLE of

HUMANITY.

 

Thus beneath the Brahman-Self that is prone to negate the world there lies the

Siva-Self, the self that knows only to love and CARE for all no matter who they

are . At the thought of this essence of myself, I feel I have hit upon my TRUE

essence, yes, I say , this self is what I am really, that I OUGHT to be.

 

But how has all these become possible? How is that this possibility did not

occur earlier and only now after becoming a Brahman-Self and noting the pains it

produces in my heart?

 

 

 

 

 

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