Psychology and Metaphysics -13

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Psychology and Metaphysics 13

 

Passions and Fear

 

Yes I am Siva-Self or to be neutral but which means the same I am LOVE-Self for

they say Siva is Love ( anbee Sivam) . Within me lurks another possibility,

another kind of SELF I can be BENEATH the Brahman-Self, that self that rejoices

in NEGATION, the self the says neti neti to everything real by way of DISTANCING

itself from the world, the Viyavakarika World, thinking that it will ensnare me

, bind me , chain me down and make me be concerned with the worldly and through

that bring me into moral conflicts of al kinds. This is especially so because

of that young damsel there with large bosom that arouses within me sexual

feelings that would make me SURRENDER myself to her and thereby lose my

independence. I realize in me a weakness , the presence of sexual desires that

would impel me to forget the scriptures and all that and live a life on her

laps. I can see within me strong passions swelling deep deep down and make me

her UNITE with her in body and soul to attain a completion , a saturation. But

noting that it would deprive me of my freedom and that I would become a

passionate lover who would then forget the metaphysical world, I resolve that I

should never fall to the 'temptations' and following the Jagadguru

Sankaracariya, taking him as infallible, NEGATE that women and in order to do

that also NEGATE the whole world and assume the posture of the ASCETIC and

perhaps also wear the saffron robes to WARN such woman that I am NOT available

for their embrace. I also keep them away from my GAZE so that their captivating

eyes and large bosom do not affect me at all.

 

I may also sing the Saundariya Lahiri to overcome that Lahiri that the real

woman there unfailingly arouses within me so that I enjoy a kind vicarious

romantic passions but without any commitment of LOVE. In enjoying the Lahiri of

Feminine Charms in poetry I build a defense mechanism against the onslaughts of

the charming women around. I may lose in myself also in the aesthetical -- music

dance and so forth and in this become the typical modern Brahmanah , someone

locked up in the UNREAL through poetry music dance and such fine arts. For fear

of the world of passions that would make me FUSE with a women with total

indifference to her caste affiliations cultic identities and so forth I maintain

myself in a world of mental

creations but through a mental acrobatics and a twisted Logic the igamined

becomes the REAL and the real world becomes UNREAL, a Mytttai!

 

My Ardhanari Self

 

But I find myself I cannot be such a false person and live happily a life of

pretensions. The reversed ontology where the real is made unreal, the unreal

is made real makes me a sick man, a hypocrite , a false individual, a coward

who cannot FACE reality and LIVE the life bravely accepting all that transpires

there with its pains and pleasures. I as a man , is already sexual, I am only a

half and the woman there who has entered my heart and spurts joys of romantic

passions FILLS ME UP, completes my self and in the completion of which I find a

SANTHI, a peace of mind.

 

I thus forsake my pretended asceticism and embrace that women in matrimonial

alliance, lead a family life bringing up children, work hard to maintain the

family in good shape and order so that the children grow up as good citizens

and what not. Me as the husband , she as my wife, and both parents with

children, enjoy FEELINGS that saturates me and provides me with a fulfillment

that hundreds of Vedas cannot provide. I also find myself enjoying NEW kinds of

Passions not only with my wife also with my children. I learn what it means to

a FATHER, what it means to be a Responsible Husband , a dutiful son to my

parents and so forth. I also realize the immense importance of the political and

economic life and hence one who truly appreciates the Viyavakarika World as my

mainstay and without which the Paramartika cannot beappreciated.

 

I also realize a magical transformation taking place within me. My sexual

passions get transmuted and become simply LOVE that seeks NOTHING in return and

impels me just to give to society whatever I can. Thus slowly the feeling of

CARE becomes an important ingredient of my self and my metaphysical life too

becomes something that is centered on Bakti !

 

The Adyaar Self

 

I am a family man and as I grow in my FEELINGS as a family man with my

metaphysical insights enlarging the realms of my CARE and CONCERN, I begin to

feel that the whole of humanity is my FAMILY -- Vasudeva Kudumbakam perhaps. As

more metaphysical insights are gained while still in family and the

UNDERSTANDING of EXISTENCE grows and all because I DO NOT NEGATE but live it

bravely and fully, my feelings get transmuted from that of the physical

sexuality with its possessiveness to that genuine LOVE that CARES for all. I

grow from a man of narrow and small family into that of the LARGE FAMILY where

the my kith and kin become the whole of the humanity and the vast world --

neigh the whole cosmos becomes by HOME.

 

At this point I notice that I become an ADYAAR, simply a servant who does

whatever that can be done to alleviate the pains of suffering humanity just as

I did to my wife and children. My fatherhood and along with my wife our

Parenthood , embraces the Whole Humanity with CARE as the most important

ingredient of our life.

 

I find myself I cannot become a Sadguru or a Jagadguru and what not but only a

humble servant. a CiRu ToNdan, doing whatever I can by way of reducing the

pains of the suffering humanity without seeking anything in return including

their eulogies and adulation. I want to live the life of an ordinary man deeply

in LOVE with my wife and children and TOGETHER do whatever we can to help out

the others whom we see now as NO MORE ALIENS and hence whom I cannot anymore

NEGATE in the typical Vedantic way.

 

The Negation of Vedanta gives way to Bakti of Siddhanta and in that also I

simply becoming an Adyaar, a humble servant of the suffering humanity !

 

But how has all these happened? What is the METAPHYSICS of it all?

 

 

 

 

 

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