Questions from a newcomer

[Guest guest]

List Moderator's Note: Welcome to the list, Jennifer and thanks for the

introduction. We look forward to your active participation with thoughtful

questions and comments. Hopefully, someone will provide answers to your

insightful questions. Welcome again.

 

 

Hello,

 

I joined this list a few weeks ago and have been reading messages. I have

found them very interesting.

 

I joined because I have some questions regarding Hindu teachings, related to

the nature of consciousness and the process of enlightenment, or awakening.

 

I am a stay at home mother to two children and I live in the Metro DC area.

I am a practicing Christian but love the teachings of all religions. When I

was in my early 20s and started having spiritual experiences, I read Hindu

teachings. They nourished me and helped me greatly on my path.

 

I am now reading a book called "Vasistha's Yoga" and it is helping me as

well.

 

But I have been having intense spiritual experiences lately and I began

looking for a place to have some questions answered. Perhaps someone on this

list

would be so kind as to take some time and help me. I am afraid I am not

familiar enough with your terminology to use it comfortably so I will use my

own

words

 

1. Is fear a necessary part of the process of becoming truly free? I have

experienced a great deal of fear, and dread, when confronted with spiritual

realizations. For example, in processing the idea that "I" am nothing, an

illusion, I dealt with a great deal of fear and pain in doing so. I feel I have

completed a cycle and have a new awareness and peace now, and do not feel that

heavy dreadful feeling. But it was very diffulcult for a while.

 

So my question is: Is fear a part of the process? Is that awful dread a

necessary part, since a part of the ego is dying?

 

2. My second question is related. I have been experiencing that everything

is one. That I am all of life, my children, the trees, etc. But to fully

realize this and experience this all the time, and live as in a dream while

fully

awake, as I read in the scriptures, I experience a deep loneliness.

 

Where in the Hindu teachings is this spoken of or explained? I would like to

know how others deal with this, how they experienced it, and how it resolves

itself. I feel that to fully realize I am one with the universe, I have to

experience this most horrible reality that I am all there is. It is like the

archetypal dream where you wake up and realize you are alone, there is nobody

else in your house. I lie in bed at night and am so sad to think that my

husband, my children, are in reality the same as me, I am all there is, there is

nobody else. If diversity is an illusion, it is a very lonely universe.

 

What is the teaching about this loneliness? It is truly is more than I can

bear at times. Is this why God created the universe, because he could not bear

to be alone?

 

Thank you for any help on these matters.

 

Warmly,

Jennifer Damashek