From Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa's talks...(58) True Earnestness for God

[Guest guest]

>

> Master: "I was then suffering from excruciating

> pain because I had not

> been blessed with a vision of the mother. I felt as

> if my heart were being

> squeezed like a wet towel. I was overpowered by a

> fear that it might not be

> my lot to realize Her in this life. I could not bear

> the separation any

> longer: life did not seem worth living. Suddenly my

> eyes fell on the sword

> that was kept in the Mother's temple. Determined to

> put an end to my life, I

> jumped up like a madman and seized it, when suddenly

> the Mother revealed

> herself to me, and I fell unconscious on the floor.

> What happened after that

> externally or how that day or the next passed , I do

> not know, but within me

> there was a steady flow of undiluted bliss

> altogether new, and I felt the

> presence of the Divine Mother.

>