for ashish

[Guest guest]

Anu simply went on spitting piles of false

allegations on me. I reasoned, I sweared; but, no use. All she wants

to say that I am the biggest lier of this world. And what she thinks

she is? The goddess of truth herself!!!

 

 

Dear ashish,

 

I do not work on AI, but yes I am smart enough to learn how to forge

IPs or any damned thing in this world if I seriously put my mind in

to it, but no I do not know it yet. And no, I am not the Godddess of

truth. Sometimes I even live a lie when I spend my day whiling away

when I should be working at my current plans in life, like I did

today.

 

 

And guess what, her buddy, Birendra has also joined her now and

started pointing fingers at me. He has been instantly declared the

giant ball of purity by Anu. Why? Because he has supported her.

Remember, yesterday she was claiming that you, Seren Dipity, do not

exist and I use your identity to support and praise myself. She was

even throwing open challenges on me.

 

Ashish, you one told me about how much power you have acquired by

sadhana, You have told me about the lakhs and lakhs of mahavidya and

guru mantra chant you have done. In fact I have done very little

almost nothing. I am very irregular with my chanting and take it like

a joke.

So why is that some one who is a speck as compared to you in this

field is able to do you and your reputation harm. Come on, who can

harm a Sadhak of a mahavidya. And, I have supported and protected

birendra in this public forum from the day there was wrath directed

towards him.

 

Yes, I am the cause of this mess. I had posted "God of truth be ye

alone my guide". So be it.

Something transpired between birendra and me which offended me and

no I will not post it here. Birendra has had more than his share of

troubles from this group. And I have since forgiven him. and since

at least till then I respected and confided in you I told you.

But, no never is my worse dream would I have posted a false mail for

him just to malign him. You did that without my knowledge or consent,

perhaps in your affection for me and over reaction. And yes, I sided

with birendra in the public forum even then. But no I chose not to

point fingers at you. Ashish remember a thing I say to you today.

Truth contains within it, its own proof. And whatever needs to be

proved by crutches cannot be truth.

 

May be that would have closed the matter, but super angel posted a

mail defending birendra. What disgusted me most about you was when

you first posted a message from the immunamed account once again in

birendra's characteristic style and then used the same account to

malign him. Such vengefulness, such wrath, such hatred and such

cunningness I have never before witnessed in my life and pray to God

that I never do again. And I pray that it leaves you too. And again

after protecting birendra, I disowned you this time after I realized

it was you again who caused this commotion. And then those hoards of

mails containing "virus" from various IP addresses. I am not a

psychologist, but I think your effort was directed only in one

direction to put the blame on an element other than you. What could

be the driving motive — guilt?? It was totally unnecessary because no

one suspected you here. Whether I have been doing this—only one

answer I leave it to the discretion of my guru bhais. And I never

intended to say anything here. It was you who came and bawled here

about a friend suspecting you of forging mails etc. even then in my

reply I tried my best to protect you.

 

She says, I tried to assassinate the character of Birendra. May I ask

why would I do that? Now, it's my turn to throw open

challenges.

 

I accepted it and answered. Birendra had offended me and you did it

for me. that was your way of protecting me.

 

On the other hand, I am in direct contact with Gurudham and Guru

Trimurty. I am Bade Guruji's disciple for last 14 years.

 

Yes, you have a lot more devotion than me. and have performed more

sadhanas too.

 

Was I harming someone here? Was I harming

someone's interest by posting mantras, promoting sadhanas and

promoting Gurudham?

 

No ashish you were not. You were doing a good job, which deserves to

be commended. But not this way. With a false admirer snubbing people

not letting any other voices surface. You can have enough real ones

for your work by the grace of guruji. I never intended to say any

such thing. But even in the two-minute conversation you could not

help your ways and popped up as seren_dipity totally lacking serenity

from a point on. And yes that annoyed me. go back and read the mails

you posted from the seren account. Only ahsish talks the way he did,

everyone in this group knows that. Your scream session started from

that point on. Perhaps my new found calmness disturbed you.

You know ashish. I am not a great Sadhak OK. So yesterday, I just

went to chant guru mantra with a pledge to never return tio issp. The

only thought I got was that I have to go back. But yes it could be my

own ego instead of guruji's will. I have a huge one at that.

 

 

 

Of course, I was and I still am. I am a big

problem for all those who hate Guru Trimurty. things; but hey, I

promote Gurudham and Matra Tantra Yantra Magazine.

Can it be termed as silly? Moreover, what good did she do to this

group by creating the current situation?

 

You created it a lot more by your reactions than me.

 

What good did she do to help

that kid Naveen whom she used to target me?

What good did you do? You snubbed him unnecessarily.

Did she help his family

financially?

 

No, did you?

Did she help him secure a better future with proper

education?

No, did you?

Did she help his father get a job?

No, did you?

What good did she do to

Anurag, Rohit, Anupam, Charanjit, Bishnu, Birendra or any other

member of this group?

 

Did you do any good to them?

What good did she do to Guru Trimurty or

Gurudham?

 

What good have you done to them?

 

If she hasn't done anything good for anyone, what right she

has to blame me for anything?

 

Because I have never harmed anyone either. That way I am very much

like homeo pathic medicine.

 

Would she care to explain or this

question will also go unanswered like many others?

 

You are feeling frustrated by my calmness aren't you? Ashish I am

myself surprised, forget about you. GOD knows where it is coming from.

 

If this person; Anu, Birendra, Rajesh, whoever it is; declares me a

lier, how he/she is going to prove that he/she is not a lier

himself/herself?

 

Hey ashish, you always spell check unlike me. lier is wrong. It

should be liar.

 

Beware members, this is a big and dirty game targetted not only

against me and you, but Gurudham and Guru Trimurty.

 

Ashish, have you heard that song

"Parda nahin jab koi khuda se, bando se parda karna kya." as you just

mentioned, my name is anupama.

Whatever I can say to guruji I can surely say to you all. I will give

to the trap you are looking for. But promise me you will not howl for

a few more days. Whatever you wish to say for me, say calmly. Say it

with dignity, say it with grace. And remember they are the most

important things in life, in relationships.

 

I came in contact with gurudham when guru dev was there, but I never

got a chance to meet him. My contact then was primarily with arun

bhaiyya who answered the calls and became my pal. so though I did get

a phone call from gurudham about Guruji's demise (because of my

closeness to bhaiyya). So essentially I became a disciple after

guruji passed away. I think there are several very wonderful people

at gurudham. They are so simple and so nice and so devoted. And yes,

I am close to shrivastav uncle too. Among guruji's sons, I have great

respect for nand kishoreji. But my experiences with the other two

have not been so nice. And no I will not elaborate further.

 

I will explain this with the help of an incident—was in 95 shraadh

when there was a lot of noise in Indian papers about ganesh ji's

statue drinking milk. I too went because I visited the shiv temple

daily those days. So I took a huge spoon to test if ganesh ji was

actually drinking milk. So there I saw the milk disappear three

times. But I was not so convinced that it was a miracle. Now as you

have announced I pretend science in life. After returning or next day

I spoke to a friend who I jhave been kind enough to rate equal to me

in intelligence and gave some surface tension, film theory. He

brought them down to nough with with some..These quasi scientific

theories…something something. So my explanation was not a good one.

Does that mean that it was miracle may be, does that mean it could be

scientifically proved may be. One experiment was too few to make

conclusions either way. This is exactly my opinion about gurudev's

younger sons.

 

 

It is very much possible that I am wrong in this, but I will not go

to anyone as a guru with doubt in my heart. And, no I do not look

upon them as my surrogate gurus, only his sons. If guruji announced

in some shiver or whatver, and I am disobeying his orders, that is my

problem and it is between us - guruji and me. And as for devotion to

guruji is concerned ask anyone who has come to me for help, and by

guruji's will there have been more than one. I have never advocated

dikshas because I have decided not to take them myself. I am prepared

to take the harder way. But I have always advocated guru mantra,

chetna mantra, gayatri mantra samagri only from gurudham if possible.

And have never prescribed a chant session, which is less than 1 or 2

hrs a day. And no, like rajesh parmar I have no personal profits in

mind.aprt from amy be acquiring some good punya for me.

 

 

 

I leave you today, again with the same words I said. If a single

statement I made is incorrect may the wrath of my guru be upon me.

indeed I have no right to malign my guru bhai and I have made a

mistake in that case and deserve to be punished and may it happen.

Your devotion to guru ji, your attempt to spread his knowledge are

not equalled by anyone here. Leave alone me. you really have been

trying and you have my full support. Only be a little open please and

have confidence in yourself and your guru. The name of swami

nikhileshwarand is not so weak that mention of another saint scares

people away. And yes I agree material posted here even when stolen

from a website should be given proper reference. Ashish, do not look

upon this whole thing as a battle field where you have to win people

over for your guru. Like I mentioned in the previous mail samskaars

will decide who joins and who leaves. If birendra discusses some

sivananda, yogananda etc that does not mean people will stop doing

sadhanas on hearing him. You really need not be hyper about it.

 

But remember one thing today, you alone have created so much negative

environment here in the past few months. Also one more thing, I

rarely announce my location and full name on the internet. And I

think you suggested and agreed with that. So I think this was

unneccassry, but you are not in your senses, so let it be. Just one

request. You are the only person I have trusted in this group as my

brother and you have several photographs of me. in any spate of anger

please do start posting them with horns added teeth protruding or

whatever. I have yet to marry. No, no I trust you as my brother but

still… So good wishes.

Take care please

And ashish I am sorry if I have hurt you even if you were wrong.

 

Jai gurudev

Anu

 

Wait I will send you calvin and hobbes as a parting gift! I think

everyone should read them. even those who are spiritually

enlightened.