(No subject)

[Guest guest]

this is my reply to one of the several mails i got from ashish

recently.

 

i request all new members and non guru bhais to totally ignore this

mail and not laugh at us.

 

 

 

"Dear Anu,

 

I am sorry for bothering you. I was in a good mood and

good times reminded me of you. So, I wrote you. I

didn't know that you still hate me."

 

i do not hate anybody. not a single person in this world. though i

am capable of negative emotions, but they are usually short lived. it

is not my ground state.

 

"During your 'Operation Eliminate Ashish', you once wrote that you

will never see again the amount of hatred I have.

Well, you have, in you."

 

ashish i do not hate you. i think your question is why do you not

treat me like old times. a chinese girl who is my neighbor came over

and cried about misunderstanding with a friend. people change,

relationships change. the only secret of drawing love (of any kind)

is making yourself like honey. and people will be drawn like bees.

cajoling coaxing screaming and slapping do not help in this regard.

they are usually counterproductive. in more than one of my

relationships i have taken distance and asked time

with no commitment for future. please leave me alone for now. may be

in a few months i feel differently about you and am able to get back.

right now i cannot. i have back log of personal mails. i do not write

to my mother and my sister regularly enough, there are

serious issues about me i am trying to resolve right now. i do not

socialize much though because of my

previous history several people will be happy to have me back in

their parties. all i have to do is walk in uninvited. i really have

other priorities and issues both in the outer world and in my inner

world. iam under stress and confused on several issues.

 

" I don't know about you; but, for me, the bro-sis stuff

is eternal."

 

nothing is eternal for me. even the men i loved in previous lives or

will love in future lives are just a shade of passing experiences on

my soul. we are all free of all bondage. the only relevant thing is

to be 100 percent honest to what is the present without worrying

about past and future.

 

" If you consider me evil, you made the

worst mistake by sending me Rakhi."

 

i do not consider you evil. i consider you capable of infinite

goodness and with a lot of potential.

 

"I can't see you; but, I can see your ID in ISSPLIST.

So, as long as you are there, you have me with you."

 

 

i will try not to post then

 

"You want to get rid of me, then revert the damage done

to me and restore my reputation."

 

all right. i will do so today again.

 

 

i wish to repeat a few things for ashish and his peace of mind.

i am sorry that i blamed him of posting from two accounts. he did not

do it. seren dipity ji i am sorry please

come back to our group and help us like old times.

 

i am sorry i blamed ashish for posting a mail twice on birendra's

behalf. ashish did not do it. it was the coincidence that caused the

misunderstanding in my mind. i am sorry ashish forgive me. birendra

forgive me, and everyone forgive me.

 

i am sorry that i blamed ashish for sending viruses here. in all

probability he did not do it. here is to quote from his mail as he

blames me from hiding facts from you all.

 

"It's 3:30 AM here and I still working. This week, I

found over 900 which had the same messages posted to

ISSPLIST a few months ago with viruses. These groups had public

archives. There can be more with private archives.

 

The point is, you could have done what I am doing now

before blaming me and publically insulting me. But,

you did not."

 

i am sure on your personal query he will reveal these 900 groups to

you. i am sorry that i did not do such a survey before blaming him. i

am very sorry. please forgive me ashish and everyone else.

 

once again i am really sorry for all the confusion, all the hurt i

caused ashish. but i also wish to be left alone. i request all people

who hold ashish in high regard to write to him and make him feel

better about himself as he is very depressed and talking about

committing suicide.

 

jai gurudev

anu