danger-help

[Guest guest]

dear gurubhais,

here iam the damned thing with my yet another

dangerous problem and i desperately need ur help.some days back i

came to know of a woman who has a temple in her house with godess

durga idol installed inside and a very small wooden/metal image near

it which i didnt see on my first visit to the temple.the women is

well known as the women has some sort of power and claims that she

can solve problems.every one comes there thinking that she has the

power because of maa durga.

 

but what i found out was that it was becos of the yakshini(the small

idol) she has obtained

she has hid the fact from everyone.she is very much after money and

keeps on uttering ugly curses at her neighbours(who are good/bad i

dont know).there is a small tree outside the temple to which she

offers flowers.colored rice etc.

 

 

i was into weed and alcohol heavily which i renounced after taking

guru diksha.but the effects of those habits were in my body so on my

first visit to the temple i innocently prayed to mother durga that

please purify my mind and body.without knowing the fact that the

woman and her yakshini would take advantage of it in the future.

 

on the 1st day itself i asked her about a problem which had followed

me all my life.and she said that it was becos my ansestors were

landlords and they have installed some powers(a bhuta gana which i

initally thought as devi because of some confusion) in our long

forgotten land which belonged to the family and now as the temple

they reside has crumbled they are angry with the succsessors and they

are troubling me.

 

after that i came home and resumed hanuman sadhana after eating the

prasad of yakshini(thinking that it was durga maa's prasad).but in

between the sadhana some thing shot from my stomach to the heart and

suddenly i started feeling dirty.and i strongly felt that something

is desperately stopping me from doing sadhana.and i could not do the

sadhana bcos of the dirty feeling.even now it happens but not with

that intensity.the prasaad may have been used to take control of me

 

the woman obviously had come to know that i have aguru who gives the

knowledge of tantra and she is afraid/jealous of me.i had disclosed

about the yakshini to my relatives who goes to the temple regularly

and i think the yakshini-woman is angry on me becos of that.she gets

money from the people who visit the temple and she respects only

people with money and simply ignores other people.

 

 

next time when my mother went to the temple(who unfortunately

beleived in her more than me)

she started to tell her about my past mistakes which my mother was

not knowing which upset her very

much.that is the time i came to know that she is really after me.i

saw the yakshini clearly when i was sleeping in my house around

midnight she had a snake like look and was staring at me then

suddenly automatically i heard bagalamukhi mantra once in my mind . i

shouted and it dissappeared

even now occasionally the vessels in the kitchen rumbles without

reason.one night when i was desperately doing sadhana inspite of all

odds the vessels banged so heavily as if someone was throwing

them.and early morning a women started to throw lemons in front of

our house placed a cut lemon on either side of our staircase which

leads to the front door and ran away.

all the members in my family has nightmares very often.the lady sends

subtle threathening messages through my relative which only i can

understand.

 

 

this is not the only problem.there is my friend(backstabbing) by name

Saravanan who used to talk aggressively against tantra and i have

known him for 4 years we were classmates.but i recently discovered

coincidentially that he himself practices tantra secretly he has read

some books from other sources and people. even before i knew about

gurudev and was clever enough to hide it by his badmouthing the

tantra attitude.as soon as knew about gurudev i gave all the

information about the magazine i gave him my own magazine(a issue on

tantric shatkarm jan-2003) and even thought of giving him rs.500/- to

receive gurudiksha thinking that he was a dear friend.but that dear

friend of mine instead of getting happy suddenly started to sulk and

getting afraid features swarmed his face.i dint understand why that

happened.but after some days slowly things started to unfold

(gurudevs grace may be).he is person filled with deceit and vengance

and before this many times he had done tantra prayogs on poor me

because i had objected him on using a very ugly word on another

friend which caused him so much of humiliation in the college.to

avenge his humiliation he had done tantra prayogs on me. and now he

is afraid that i may do acounter ritual to remove the affects.he also

knows that i have come to know about his evil deeds but on the

surface we both act as nothing happened.he indierectly always says

that "i will render you useless for life.and he is trying to ucchatan

me from gurupooja".whenever i do a tantra nivaarann sadhana he calls

up and in a very disturbed voice which he tries to hide asks me that

wheather iam doing any sadhana.i cant avoid him because he is in very

good trems with my parents who beleive outsiders and think that iam a

fool looks like he has also done something on my parents.and whenever

i have done it i have heard that even the yakshini women gets ill.but

i suspect that a major prayog is being done on me and if these two

get togeather i dont think that i will live and be sane.they seem to

have a upper hand always over me and my days are slipping away one by

one without being able to do any sadhana..the family

dieties,yakshini,evil friend these things happend at the same time

and iam baffled by it.please suggest something

 

i refrain from doing maarann prayog bcos iam afraid that i may spoil

my gurus name and i had ignored them thinking that gurudev will look

after me.but now i realise that who iam i? to call myself a disciple

neither i have met him in person nor i have lead aappreciable sattwic

life till a year ago.i have just received diksha by photo.do you

think he will accept me as his disciple because he is the only guru

of whom i can be proud.and being a shishya is the only thing that

can make my lifegraceful.

 

 

your suggestion is invaluable please help

 

abhijith hegde