New Member - Asking for comments in some spiritual experiences!

[Guest guest]

9.0pt;font-family:Arial">Om Namah Shivaya!

9.0pt;font-family:Arial">Everybody in this group please accept my humble namaskaaram!

May you and your familes/friends be blessed by the omnipresent Mahadev!

My name is Rahul and I am 25 years

old and currently residing in Dallas, TX (USA). I was

introduced to the practices of Tantra at an early age by my father who is a

devotee of Durga and also a r of ‘Mantra, Tantra, Yantra’

magazine. I am a new member of this group and have been very impressed by the

knowledge and expertise of the members on the subjects of Tantra and

general spiritual matters. It is my objective to learn from all of you and also

to obtain your honest critique on my own spiritual practices.

 

Personally, I am a devotee of Shiva

& Durga (Kali, Dhoomavati, Baglamukhi & Matangi) and I have accepted

none other than ‘MAHADEV’ himself as my spiritual/tantric guru

– a request which I believe he has been kind enough to accept. By the

grace of mahadev, I came to know about the 10 mahavidyas when I was 18 years

old and as of today, my daily prayer includes the following;

 

- Ganesha Mantra

- Shiv Rudrashtakam

- Durga 108 names

- Kali 108 names

- Dhoomavati Kavach

- Dhoomavati Stotram

- Dhoomavati 108 names

- Baglamukhi 108 names

- Matangi Kavach

- Matangi 108 Names

- Kshma Prarthna

 

In the course of time, I have

experienced certain incidents that defied logic and seem to be the work of a

‘higher’ power. Here are a few examples;

 

- My 3 year old acute acne was cured

within a mere month – never to return again – by praying to goddess

Matangi. And I’ll be damned if I had not tried every medicine in town

prior to that to no avail.

 

- While reading the story of Tirupati

Balaji I was very moved by the stories of his kindness and mercy on his

devotees. I prayed to him and at the end of the prayer, donated all fruits of

my prayer to the good of others but also jokingly suggested that if he still

wants to grant me a wish then I ask that he join me to worship my guru ‘Shivji’

on the auspicious occasion of ‘Mahashivratri’ which was to occur in

a few weeks. Indeed, not expecting anything whatsoever, I forgot all about it.

On the eve of ‘Mahashivratri’ when I was in line to surrender my

prayers and offerings to mahadev, a young guy that I had never seen before

approached me and repeatedly insisted that he knows me, is my friend,

and that we were supposed to meet today in the temple. I wasn’t in any

mood of talking since I was uttering prayers and after a customary

introduction, seeing he was empty handed, gave him half of all my offerings

including packets of milk. He accepted, thanked me for the offerings, smiled

and arrogantly walked straight into the shiva temple, a move not

noticed/protested by any of the devotees in line. I was somewhat offended and

wanted to have a word with him when he came out. But that was the last I ever

saw of him. He went in, but he never came out, as I would have seen him

(entrance and exit being the same) and was nowhere to be found when I entered

the shiva temple.

 

- At the famous ‘Jwalamukhi’

shrine in H.P. (our kul-devi), there is a small statue of chaturbhuja mahakali

on the back wall of the shrine. Being a kali devotee, I once offered a chunari,

prayers & my own blood to mahakali, and then proceeded for a parikrama of

the shrine. Upon my return to the statue at the end of the parikrama (which

took barely 30 seconds), I discovered that the chunari was gone! I was

outraged. I said bad things to mahakali and told her that she could have at

least kept someone from stealing my offering until I left her temple. Crying,

sad and very upset, I left the temple and refused to take her prasadam from the

priest. That same night I had a dream in which she appeared telling me that she

took the ‘chunari’ to where she resides and it was not stolen!

Needless to say, I was in the temple the next morning again crying and offering

my apologies to her for my stupidity and ignorance.

 

- Within a year and half of worship,

I was admitted to a university in Bridgeport, CT – USA for studies.

My father’s friend prepared all the paperwork and I was granted a visa to

the

font-family:Arial">United States without being asked a single

question by the embassy officer even though the paperwork submitted clearly

showed that I was unable to fully support myself financially in the United

States

font-family:Arial">. Today, after 5 years in the US, I am almost

finished with my higher studies and work as a ‘Financial Analyst’

for a multi-billion dollar corporation.

 

Recently however, there has been an

occurrence that has left me preplexed and I am desperate too seek an

explanation from the members of this forum who seem to have devoted their

entire lives in the pursuit of tantra and worship.

 

About 2 months ago, I stayed out late

with friends at a social gathering and did not return home @ my usual time to

say my daily prayers. When I did come home, there was still time to pray before

the clock struck

9.0pt;font-family:Arial">midnight but I was too tired and did not even

realize when I fell asleep on my bed without praying.

 

The next morning, at approximately 6:30 AM, while I was

fully-awake but still lazily lying in bed unwilling to get up, I felt like

someone was walking on my bed with gentle steps. And it was not an illusion

because I could feel the mattress compress and the bed-sheet and my blanket

move with each step just as of there was a real person walking on the bed.

Whoever it was, would take 4 gentle steps, starting from right next to my feet

all the way to my waist and then walk backwards. I pulled away the blanket from

my face and turned back to look but saw nothing.

 

Wondering and clueless, I pulled the

blanket over my face again and was wondering about the incident when to my

horror, it happened all over again - 4 steps starting right next to my feet

going all the way to my waist and then 4 steps backwards. Horrified, I decided

to call for help but remembered that I had forgotten to pray the previous

night. Intuitively, with apologies, I recited the following shloka to goddess Matangi;

 

Shyaamaangim Shashishekharaam Trinayanaam

Vedeh Karairbibhratim,

 

Paasham Khetamathankusham Dridmasim Naashaya

Bhaktdvisham,

 

Ratnalankaran Prabhotjwalatanum Bhaswatkiritam

Shubhaam,

 

Maatangim Mansa Smaraami Sadyaam, Sarvaarth

Sidhipradaam.

 

… and requested that if

it’s her, she kindly proceed to the prayer spot (make shift temple in one

of the book-shelf spaces in my apartment) and I shall come and pray to her

immediately after my shower. And the next thing I heard was the bed-room door

(which was already left open somewhat the night before), further swing open as

if someone was leaving the room.

 

Needless to say, I did take a shower

and finished my prayers but was very shaken by this experience. After a few

weeks when I felt somewhat normal I began to dismiss the incident as a figment

of my imagination.

 

So this recent Friday (11/11/05),

while praying to goddess Matangi I requested the goddess that if I am not

mistaken to assume that it was her walking on my bed that morning, can she

please do something to prove it to me? I prayed that I am shaken to assume to

the contrary (spirit activity) as I believed that I was immune and protected

from all such unwelcome omens and it is affecting my belief in all my prayers.

That Friday night (11/11/05), I fell asleep

praying to goddess Matangi and the next morning (Saturday – 11/12/05), much to my

surprise, the entire process was repeated again although much earlier (5:00 AM).

 

I can assure you that I woke up only

a few minutes before the incident but was fully alert. Only this time, I

wasn’t scared. After walking on my bed once and back, the footsteps

stopped but on my insistence (I mean it, I asked her to do it again), it

occurred once again. She took 4 steps forward and 4 steps backwards the exact

same way as in the last incident.

 

Of all the goddesses that I worship

daily, I have a very different and special relationship with Matangini devi.

She’s the one that seems to be most active around me and easiest to

please of all the rest. I know that in her 108 names, it is said that,

“Whosoever recites these names with devotion and love, the GODDESS

MATANGI RESPECTFULLY RESIDES WITH THAT WORSHIPPER.”

 

And so I believe it’s time for

me to disclose major incidents of my spiritual journey thus far to people I

believe are far more knowledgeable in the field of yoga/tantra than me. I

especially ask fellow devotees of goddess Matangi to comment on my post and

share their own experiences, such as mine, if any.

 

I am hoping for a more thoughtful

insight into my experiences by the esteemed members of this forum and I

sincerely hope that my thoughts will not be dismissed as hallucinations of a

delusional mind because I assure you – they are not so!

 

Om Namah Shivaya!