Reminiscences of Shri Kunju Swamigal - 48

[Guest guest]

Dandapaniswami used to supervise the work in the kitchedn.He used to

make different kinds

of chutney.He used to grind them in the mortar and Sri Bhagvan used

to help him.Sometimes

Sri Bhagvan would grind and he would help.In those days,there were

only seven or eight

people who stayed in the ashram permanently.Sri Bhagvan used to help

us with cutting

vegetables,grinding etc.As Dandapaniswami was a Brahmin,he would not

let us help him with

his grinding work.

Sri Bhagvan used to grind every day.Once some blisters appeared on

the little finger of His

right hand.Some of us were greatly distressed at this.We asked

Dandapaniswami to stop making

preparations which involved grinding.He didn't listen to us.I said to

Sri Bhagvan in private,

"Please do not grind when you have blisters on your hand.I cannot eat

anything prepared by

you in that condition."

Next day Dandapaniswami again arranged for the perparation of some

chutney.Sri Bhagvan ground

the ingredients that day also.I did not eat the chutney and someone

reported this to

Sri Bhagvan.

At the next meal,Sri Bhagvan sent for me and asked me whether he

could eat.I was puzzled.

I did not understand what He meant.He said to others,"I have to obey

people like him;otherwise

they won't eat.I have to act according to their orders.Everyone,when

he comes here,comes

first as a sadhu.As time passes,they order us about and expect Swami

(Sri Bhagvan) to obey

them." I was stung by what He said.For about three days,He asked me

whether He could go out,

take His bath or eat.I could not bear those remarks any longer.I

decided to leave for

Tirupathi the same evening and spend some days there to recover my

peace of mind.I spoke to

Ramakrishnaswami and also got the permission of Sri Bhagvan to go to

Tirupathi.I planned

to go to Tirupathi by the evening train.

That afternoon Sri Bhagvan started on His Giripradakshina all of a

sudden.Ramakrishnaswami

asked me to accompany Sri Bhagvan and others.I started out with an

extra dhoti and towel

necessary for the travel.Sri Bhagvan walked unusually slowly that

day.As it was not proper

to go ahead of Him,I did not walk faster.I knew i would not be able

to catch the train.

Seeing my train go,Sri Bhagvan said,"There goes your train!Fly,fly to

it." So saying,He

laughed.Others also joined in the laughter.I didn't say anything.

We reached the ashram at night.After supper,"It seems he asked you

not to grind chutney.

It seems you said that he expected you to obey his orders.He is very

upset and wants to

apologise to you," said Dandapaniswami.Immediately Sri Bhagvan

said,"Why shoud I get angry

with him? What wrong has he done?Unable to see the blisters on my

hand he refused to eat the

chutney I had prepared.What is there to be angry about in this? He

thinks Iam annoyed and

so he wants to go to Tirupathi! What a wonderful fellow! Even at the

ashram he eats without

much relish.He puts water into his sambar and rasam and swallows the

whole thing as if it

were medicine!What will he get outside?How will he eat?Moreover his

old teacher

Malayalaswami put his hand in mine and asked me to look after

him.Tomorrow if he comes and

asks me where his disciple is,what can I say?This fellow says cooly

that he will go to

Tirupathi!" He said the whole thing laughingly and I felt happy.Sri

Bhagvan wanted to remove

the illusion that i was doing service to Him and i was looking after

Him.The whole thing was

a drama enacted by Sri Bhagvan to remove my ego.

 

in Sri Bhagvan,

Sriram