Satsang from SAT on Existance

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This is from the discourse.

 

Existence

Satsang

February 3, 2002

 

[R.S. signifies Russell Smith; N. signifies Nome; laughter means that

everyone was laughing, not just the speaker.]

 

R.S.: This world, indeed, this universe, has innumerable objects of

endless shapes, sizes, color, and dimension, but there is a singular

Existence behind and beyond it. There are innumerable people, with

different characteristics, but there is a singular Existence

underneath all those characteristics and beyond all of them.

There may be many facets of your personality, but underneath all

those facets, behind and beyond them, is a singular Existence, the

Self. There may be innumerable thoughts, inclusive of the ones that

you refer to as emotions, but behind and beyond those thoughts is a

singular Existence that does not change.

What people refer to as their sense of "I' or sense of ego rises and

falls. The Maharshi referred to this as the "I" notion or the "I"

thought. Behind and beyond this "I" thought is a singular Existence

that is your true identity. This is what this morning's discourse is

about.

N.: If we perceive the objects and not the underlying Existence, if

we perceive many beings and not the underlying invisible Being, or

Existence, if we perceive the thoughts but not the real, indivisible

Consciousness that is underlying all of them, or if we perceive our

individuality and its accompanying personality and do not perceive

the actual Existence, such is the dreaming called delusion or

ignorance.

Self-Knowledge, or the Knowledge of Reality, is the perceiving of

Existence first as the substrate or the background behind and beyond,

and then further perceiving it as it really is, just by itself.

In all of the experiences of the objects, in all of the experiences

of your thoughts, there seems to be some sense of reality. If we look

at that superficially, we think that these thoughts are real and that

these objects are real. We do not see where the sense of reality

derives, and thus the view of reality is actually veiled. One is

seeing what is unreal and taking it to be real, and one is not seeing

what is real.

R.S.: In your experience, there is a sense of existence, and we

normally say that these things exist or these thoughts exist. This is

what we refer to when we say that they are taken as real or have a

sense of reality to them. There is a sense that these things are

happening or existing. What is that existence?

N.: Compare that with the sense of your own existence, your own

identity. You may appear to possess various attributes or

characteristics as a personality, as someone embodied, engaged in

activities, and such. All of them seem to be real or seem to be "I"

especially as they are occurring or if you dredge them up in memory.

The activities and characteristics can change, yet the sense of

identity or "I" remains just as strong with each one. The sense of

identity must come from something else and not from the particular

thoughts and not from the particular characteristics and personal

attributes that are subject to change. The sense of "I" must come

from something else and not from the activities in which your body

may engage. From where does the sense of "I" derive?

From where does the sense of reality or existence come? If

you want to see reality, this is the question you must ask yourself.

If you want to see who you are, this is the kind of questioning you

must put to yourself. If you ask these kinds of questions of

yourself, you will find that finding out reality and finding who you

are are actually one and the same thing.

R.S.: So, what is real? What exists? What is it that you are really

perceiving or feeling as existence? The sense of existence does not

come from just the objects, unless you are willing to say that the

objects in your dream are as real as the ones in the waking state.

The appearance of objects, per se, is not the Existence.

N.: If we want to see Existence itself, we cannot use our senses as

the means of determining that Existence, just as your dream senses

will not really tell you what is there. Your dream senses will tell

what is occurring in the dream, but not what is actually existing. It

is similar in the present case. The sense of your body will give

sensations, but they will not tell you about the actual Existence

that underlies everything. The senses will show you merely the

appearances, which are ultimately illusory. They will not show you

Existence itself. If we want to know Existence, we need to use a

deeper way of knowing.

R.S.: Likewise, just as your senses will not show you this Existence

that is behind and beyond, and ultimately One without a second, so

your thoughts will not show it to you. Your thoughts will not show

you this sense of Existence, or pure Being, which is behind and

beyond every thought. You may think that your thoughts exist. "For

whom do they exist?" is the question. You may say for yourself. What

is that self? Who is that self? From where does that basic sense of

existence come?

N.: The Maharshi would often point this out in his instruction when

someone would raise question in description of the world or of

thoughts, gross or subtle, the world of objects and the objects of

thought. He would ask them, "Do these things declare their own

existence or do you say that they exist?" If the seeker was

perceptive, he or she would immediately recognize, "I am saying that

they are existing." He would then point out that in our actual

experience the sense of existence is coming from you and you need to

find out who that you really is. Make an inquiry to find out, "Who am

I?" and determine what that "I" is.

If we take the "I" to be a body and we so misidentify, we will think

of bodily and sensory things as actually being existent.

R.S.: Then, you will think that your existence is limited to bodily

experience. You will think that your existence began at birth, that

it was young, then old, and then older, and that your existence will

terminate. That is, you think that you will die. Whatever happens to

your body you will think is happening to your existence. If your body

loses a limb, you will say that your existence is now a quarter lost.

N.: If you have so much as a haircut, you would assume that you lost

some of your existence and now it is on the floor. (laughter)

R.S.: We must take the inquiry deeper. The sense of existence cannot

be sought or known in bodily terms. It is not physical, and it is not

bodily. Your true existence is not male or female, not a particular

height or weight, and not a particular age or size. Where you need to

look for your Existence is not in the physical or bodily

characteristics.

N.: If the misidentification was in terms of, "I am the body," there

is the corresponding view that all the sense objects exist. If we

inquire and know that we are not the body, what then has happened to

all this that you thought was existing. The Maharshi says, "Has

anyone ever seen the world without a body?" The meaning of this is

that if you take your position to be the body, you will regard all

the objects around that body as existent. If you know that your own

Existence is not the body, your whole experience and not just your

intellectual view of what is existent is changed from then on, once

you recognize and establish yourself in the Knowledge that you are

not the body.

Similar is it with something subtle. Each thought seems to be so real

and existing at the moment of its occurrence, until it is replaced by

some other thoughts that seem equally real as the preceding thought.

>From where is the sense of reality derived?

Do you say that the thoughts are existing or do they stand up of

their own and declare, "We are existing, we are true, and we are who

you really are"? The sense of identity, which is the sense of your

existence, and the sense of their being real and of existing at all,

are coming from a common source, but that source is not the thoughts

themselves anymore than it is derived from the objects.

R.S.: In deep sleep, when thoughts cease, your Existence does not

cease. In deep meditation, when thoughts cease, Existence does not

cease.

You may not remember deep sleep, and you may not even know that deep

sleep is thought-free. Of the two, I would strongly recommend the

meditation approach, since there will be a sense of being conscious

or of knowledge in it. It is lit up, as it were. You will consciously

know that Existence continues even when thoughts cease. Such is one

of the many values of meditation.

N.: Whatever we regard as our existence we will regard as existing

everywhere. Whatever your take up as your identity determines your

view of reality. If you want to see the real Existence as it is, you

must see your own existence as it is. If you misidentify, you assume

yourself to be something more limited and bound than what you really

are. That bondage causes suffering. If we want to be free of bondage

and suffering and if we want to see Reality as it is, we must know

ourselves. This is accomplished by finding out who we are.

This inquiry is being taken up now along the lines of tracing

existence to its root, its source. It is tracing the substrate or

background upon which all the images of thoughts, objects, and such

are being projected. Look past the images, past superficial

appearance, which is a passing illusion, to the actual Existence

itself. That is the first step.

Then, we will want to see Existence as it is and not in relation to

any kind of illusion.

R.S.: Sometimes, when you meet people and get to know them, you want

to know who they really are. How do you know who someone really is?

If you know yourself, you know who others really are. If not, you may

be looking at physical characteristics, their thoughts as they

express them, or their thoughts as you think about them, as you think

that they think. (laughter).

There is an old Zen story in which the seeker asks the master, "How

can I see another person's mind?" You may think of that as the

other's self if you wish. "Is it possible to actually know another

person's mind," he asked. The master replied, "Is it possible to know

another person's mind without knowing you own?"

In the same way, is it possible to really know the existence or the

identity of another if you do not know your own? Otherwise, you will

only see the surface. To inquire within yourself is to dive below the

surface and to see who and what you really are. That is to

simultaneously perceive who and what everyone and everything else is.

N.: If you perceive who you really are, then bodiless you are,

without birth and death, without form, size, shape, and activity. If

you perceive yourself and see that you are not the mind, anything

conceivable is then not yourself. You are the vast Consciousness, the

infinite and the eternal, and cannot be encapsulated in any thought.

If you perceive who you are, you are no mere individual entity, or

ego. In the absence of an ego, what exists is Being without form,

Consciousness without limit, and Bliss without obstruction or

interruption. It is all peace in itself, and it is absolutely

formless, with no creation and no destruction and never undergoing

any kind of change or modification.

All the changes and modifications pertain to things that you are not.

If you know yourself by tracing out the changeless substrate, the

background from which the sense of existence seems to be pouring out

into all the experiences, you will realize yourself as the Existence

itself. You will realize that you are not any of those things that

have beginning and end, limitation and form.

If you see yourself in this manner, then what happens to all else?

All else gets swallowed up, as it were. It was "all else" so long as

you took yourself to be an ego, the mind, the body, and such. The

more form you took on, the more there was something else. The more

form of your identity is dissolved, the less there is of all else. If

you perceive yourself as you really are, this Self, which is

infinite, has nothing outside of it. This Self, which is formless has

nothing inside it. This Self, which is indivisible, has nothing

dividing it into parts. It is just one Self that alone exists for all

eternity.

Why, then, being an illusion, do things seem to be real? Sri Sankara,

who taught pure Advaita Vedanta, pure, nondual, highest Knowledge,

said that the unreal things appear to be real because of their

source. Even though they are unreal, they appear to be real because

their source is real. If their source were not real, you would know

that they were unreal to begin with. You would know the unreal to be

unreal. In illusion, it seems that the unreal is real. The

nonexistent seems to be existent. It is because, even in illusion,

you are seeing or knowing in some way, the real Existence, which is

the source or the background. Again, he said that this is the first

step. Then, you need to see the Existence as it is free of any kind

of limitation superimposed upon it. That is what Self-inquiry

accomplishes. It reveals the real Existence, your own Being free of

any kind of superimposed limitation, free of any ignorant notion

regarding what is real or who you are.

R.S.: The Maharshi gives the analogy of the movie and the screen. The

screen represents Existence, pure Being. The images are appearances

or what we take to be real. What allows them to be mistaken to be

real is nothing other than the screen. It is this true Existence, the

one singular sense of Being, this One that cannot be divided and is

One without a second, that is changeless and whole, free and

complete, that allows even the perception of multiplicity. Do not be

fooled by the images. Look to the screen. Do not stand on the level

of multiplicity. Look to where it is One, One without a second.

N.: Do not be fooled by your own senses, but see the actual

Existence. Do not get caught up in the imagination of your own

thoughts, but see your real Consciousness, your real Being, in its

own light by itself.

Of the two questions, "What exists?" and "Who am I?" the meaning is

the same. For practice purposes, "Who am I?" as the Maharshi pointed

out, is the direct way. Otherwise, one will be endlessly attempting

to theoretically figure out what is all this. But if we inquire to

find out, "Who am I?" the answer is finally revealed regarding what

actually is. It is just one Self.

R.S: So, inquiry is an inquiry into this Self, or pure Being, or pure

Existence. It is in that Self-Knowledge that the question, "What

exists?" is answered, beyond words.

 

We are Not two,

Richard