The experience of the Self #3

[Guest guest]

>From No Mind I Am The Self..David Godman

The experience of the Self #3

 

Saradamma: It is my nature to love. I am love itself. I am

overflowing with love and I want love and I want to give it all the

time. I cannot stop myself from giving this love. Swamy sometimes

tell me to be careful; he says that devotees who tell me that they

love me this year may have completely forgotten about me by the

following year. I know from my own experience that this it true, but

even with Swamy's words `Be careful' ringing in my ears, I cannot

stop the love from flowing.

 

 

 

When she is talking about the Self Saradamma often calls it `the

Heart'. Usually she uses this term as a synonym for the Self but

sometimes she also uses it to indicate the Heart-center on the right

side of the chest. This center is the one which Swamy spoke about as

being the source of the `I'-thought. In the following conversations

she talks about this center and her experience of it both before and

after her Self-realization.

 

 

 

Question: I heard Swamy talking about your experience of the Heart-

center. Was this permanent and how did it affect you afterwards?

 

Saradamma: When the mind dies in the heart it is dead forever. It

never rises again. I cannot say what my experience of this state is

because it cannot be described in words. But I can say a little about

how this affected me. There are now no worries, no fears and no

desires; the experience itself I cannot describe.

 

Before Self-realization I sometimes went into samadhi. As I went

into and came out of these states there was an awareness of the Heart-

center on the right side of the chest. However, since realization, I

know that the Heart cannot be located in the body. The Heart in the

Self and it is immanent in all things. It is the source of everything

and it is neither inside the body nor outside. It is everywhere.

 

 

 

Saradamma: Just before my Self-realization I was aware of the `I'

thought going up and down form the head to the Heart-center. It went

up and down in a flash but I was still aware of it happening.

 

 

 

When my eyes were closed the `I' would go back to the Heart-center,

but as soon as I opened my eyes it would rush up to the brain again.

When the `I' went back temporarily into the Heart-center there was a

feeling of constriction and tightness here [saradamma clenched her

fist and put it on the bottom right-hand side of her chest as she was

saying this]. There was also an intense prickly feeling as if

hundreds of ants were running around in the vicinity of the Heart-

center. When the `I finally died the feeling of constriction and

prickliness stopped and was replaced by an overwhelming feeling of

emptiness, openness, peace and bliss. I know immediately that my `I'

had died forever, and that's why I wanted to give up the body. I know

that nothing mattered anymore because I had realized the Self.