Souris, II

[Guest guest]

Three days later, I found father trying to meditate

according to Bhagavan's method. I also started practicing

it after reading the booklet 'Who am I?'. In the beginning

the more I tried to battle against thoughts, the stronger

they seemed to become. After ten days Bhagavan's form

imprinted itself on my mind which became quiet as a

consequence. My mind was filled with joy and love for

Bhagavan. From that day instead of pursuing self-enquiry

my mind felt greatly attracted to Bhagavan's form. It was

his way of helping in my sadhana. Without his grace no

sadhana, no amount of effort, can bear fruit. I was filled

with eagerness to see Bhagavan after reading Paul Bruntons's

'Search in Secret India'.

 

As a birthday gift my father took me to Sri Ramanasramam

during the Easter vacation. The sight of Arunachala from the

railway station delighted my heart. Bhagavan smiled at me

bewitchingly as we entered the hall as if he had known me

for a long time and was expecting my arrival. I took to him

like fish in water and was immediately lost in deep contemplation.

I was literally in the seventh-heaven for a first couple of days.

On the third day, after lunch, I had a splitting head-ache.

We were staying far away from the ashram and there was no

place to rest. In the evening just when I was stretching my legs

near the well, someone came and shouted at me saying that

Bhagavan's sofa would be put nearby and that it would be

sacrilegious to stretch my legs towards him. My mind rebelled.

I started thinking, 'What is the use of my coming here? Bhagavan

does not know who I am. It does not matter to him whether I

come or do not come. The whole atmosphere at the ashram

is uncongenial'.

We left immediately. But that was the first and the last time

I entertained such feelings about Bhagavan.

 

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Souris In: Unforgettable Years

to be continued

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