Guest guest Posted October 22, 2003 Report Share Posted October 22, 2003 Dear friends, In a few days now the joyous festival of Deepavali will descend upon us (Oct 25, '03). The Light of Auspiciousness will spread through our homes, families and hearts! Let me wish you all members and your families a very Happy Deepavali! May the Almighty who resides on the Hill of Venkatam protect us always! ********** Deepavali is the time for new clothes and new goods! It is an occasion that long tradition has turned into custom for our families to go on a merry, unrestrained shopping spree. In India especially, Deepavali is when a whole nation goes to market on a buying binge! Building up slowly throughout the year like a gathering storm, the pent-up desires of people -- for cars, silks, jewellery, home-appliances, real-estate or whatever -- their desire for all these new things or what is called "goodies" of the world finally boils over in a virtual riot of shopping during the weeks leading to and following Deepavali! Once the shops announce their 'Sale', 'Festival offer' and 'Festival bonanzas', the cash-registers begin whirring overtime and business swings into overgear! Jostling crowds of womenfolk go hither and thither, from shop to shop, from bargain to bargain, clamouring for this thing and that, flashing their dazzling credit-cards and wallets as if there were no tomorrow! Come hell or high tide, whatever be the cost, and no matter how many shops they must climb up or down, the ladyfolk will go to the very ends of downtown Madras, Dubai or LA if that's where on earth they can buy that new piece of jewellery just out in the market this season! Before the 'mAmi' next-door beats them to it, they must somehow buy that ravishing new brand of 'churidar' just out in the market... And while the wives busy themselves in the souk, all that the poor, harried husbands can do meanwhile (after having been comprehensively relieved off their salary and Deepavali bonuses) is lag behind in the mall's parking-lots, driving round and round in endless circles, looking for a slot in a roiling sea of honking vehicles, billowing exhaust and angry, policemen blowing their whistles to shoo them all away... For most of us, be it in India or abroad, this is what 'Happy Deepavali' has become: an annual orgy of frenzied consumerism. The 'Festival of Light' is half observed at home these days; the other half, the more important half of Deepavali, is celebrated over the 'bargain-sale' counters of Spencer Plaza at Chennai, the City-Centre in Dubai or at WalMart in LA perhaps... ********* A new personal wardrobe, however, ought never to be the only reason for celebrating Deepavali or the sole highlight of the festival. Deepavali is actually nothing if not a festival of annual renewal... renewal both without and within. There is an urge within each one of us that we can all easily recognize -- it is the urge for a periodic renewal of inner spirit. It is a far more powerful urge than the need for mere new apparel. The annual change-out of garments during Deepavali is only an outward expression of such deeper inner need. It would be a big mistake on our part to think that life-renewal is easily attained by a mere change of clothes or designer-jewellery. In Tamil there is an old proverb: "aaL pAdhi aadai paadhi" If clothes maketh half the man, the qualities he possesses maketh the rest of him. The test of good taste in a man lies not only in how smartly he is turned out but also in his manners and the personal qualities he carries within him. Both sartorial elegance and sterling character must combine in equal measure to make anyone into a man of substance. So if Deepavali is occasion to add to a man's wardrobe, it is equally good occasion to expand the wardrobe of one's inner being too. One therefore needs to renew the apparel of the soul too by clothing it with at least one brand-new quality every year. Patience, for instance, could be the quality to wear one year. Courage, next, could be the garment to acquire the following Deepavali. Kindness or Courteousness could be next... and so on and so forth... When our soul too gets thus annually renewed, with one new quality being added each year as new clothes for it ("aaL pAdhi aadai paadhi"), the festival of Deepavali then becomes not only joyous but also truly meaningful. ********* This Deepavali (2003) I feel I would really love to acquire, if at all I could by any means, a brand new human quality for myself. It is the quality called 'Detachment'. Detachment is a very rare quality and a very difficult one to attain for the noblest of men in this world. If Detachment were to be an automobile it would surely rank as, say, a 'Rolls Royce 2004-Limited Edition'; if it were diamond jewellery it would surely be a DeBeers piece; and if it were richest woven silk, it would surely be the finest variety ever to come out of the looms of Kancheepuram. Of all the human qualities known to man, Detachment, without doubt, is the most outstanding and the most priceless one... Oh, how I would love to buy this quality! I am not ashamed to say that I now covet Detachment as greedily I as I know (in my college days many years ago) I once used to yearn for a new pair of Levi-Strauss jeans on Deepavali day. My desire for Detachment, I find, is becoming more and more intense as the years go by, and more so especially after I found it being hailed in the 'Bhagavath-gita' where Lord Krishna Himself endorses it as: yadrucchha lAbha santushtO dvandhAtheethO vimatsarah I samah-siddhAvasiddhow cha krutvApi na nibhadhyatE II (IV.22) Nothing in the world perturbs the man Who remains content with whatever comes his way; Envy, success, failure, strife -- Nothing moves or unmoves the Man of Detachment. Whenever I read this verse of the Gita I cannot help thinking, "How wonderful, O how wonderful it would be, indeed, if only I could go to a clothes-store and purchase Detachment off the shelf as easily as I might pick up a beautiful Lacoste T-shirt at Debenhams on a Deepavali day." ********** Detachment is a god-like quality. Indeed, it is an adornment for God Almighty and is even one of the several attributes of excellence and auspiciousness ("kalyANa-gUNa") said to define Him. In the 'Vishnu Sahasranamam' there is a beautiful stanza describing the Almighty Vishnu as the very embodiment of that rare quality of Detachment. It reads as follows: rAmah viramah viratah: mArgO nEyO nayOnayah veera shaktimatAm srEshtO dharmO-dharma-viduttamah (Stanza 43) The 398th 'nAma' of the Sahasranamam is "viratah:" --meaning, "the One who is ever Un-attached or Detached". Explaining this quality of Detachment as it is to be found in God Himself, Sri Parashara Bhattar, in the magnificent commentary he wrote on the 'Vishnu-Sahasranamam', draws our attention to a poignant incident from the "sundara-kAndam" (the 4th of the seven 'kAndA-s' or Parts of the 'Valmiki Ramayana'): When Hanuman met Sita in the Ashokavana, the prison-grove in which Ravana incarcerated her in Lanka, she was briefed of Rama's whereabouts and condition. Sita listened to Hanuman's briefing with joy tinged with pain. She could not suppress a wave of memory that suddenly swept her mind. With hot tears filling her eyes and emotion choking her heart she recollected to Hanuman in meltingly beautiful words her memories of the early days she'd spent as the young bride of Rama. While speaking in that nostalgic vein, Sita began to extol the lofty and noble character of Rama. She spoke of the many good qualites Rama possessed, of both the the heart and head, but she paused to make special mention to Hanuman of one particular quality her husband had that was unparalleled by anyone in the world in her own estimate: "dharmApadE satyajatascha rAjyam mAmchapyaranyam nayatah padAtim ..." (V.36-29 Va.Ram) "He gave up a throne and a vast kingdom And walked away into the wilderness with me Solely on a matter of dhArmic principle!" After many months of painful separation from her husband Rama -- a period during which she often wondered whether she would ever remain alive to see him again -- when the moment arrived when Sita was to recollect her Lord, there was only towering quality of his by which she could instantly recall him --- it was Rama's great quality of Detachment -- "viratah"! It was the quality of supreme and serene Detachment with which Rama had accepted the fact, at the very last moment, that he was not going to be coronated King of Ayodhya, that he must make way for his brother Bharatha instead, and furthemore, he must leave the kingdom for 14 long years of exile in the wilderness of the forests... Who else, Sita herself marvelled to Hanuman, who else but a man of such supreme "viratah" her beloved Rama possessed, could ever pass up a throne, a kingdom, wealth, pomp and all as nothing but mere trifle ...and walk away just like that! ********* Now, we may ask, what exactly is the nature of this rare and wonderful quality, Detachment? One of my favourite religious authors, Sri Eknath Eswaran, in his book "Thousand Names of Vishnu", has a splendid explanation. I reproduce it below: "Epictetus has an excellent metaphor for teaching detachment, perhaps the most important skill to acquire for living in a world of change. "Remember," he says, To behave in life as you would make sure to behave at a banquet. When something is being passed around, as it comes to you, stretch out your hand and take a portion of it gently. When it passes on, do not try to hold on to it; wen it has not yet come to you, do not reach out for it with your desire but wait until it presents itself. So act toward children, toward spouse, toward office, toward wealth. Epictectus would have been at home at a Hindu banquet, for we have three unwritten rules (of detachment): One is that there is a regular apportionment of space on the piece of banana leaf that serves as a plate. You don't pile things on top of each other. Each delicacy is served in a particular order in its appropriate place. Second, when something delicious is put in front of you, you don't start in gobbling immediately; you wait until everybody has been served. Children get so impatient that a mother sometimes has to train her little one by slapping his wrist gently; but by the age of five or so all are able to sit patiently waiting for until the serving is done and everyone observes a few moments' repetition of the 'mantram' ('parisheshana mantram'). After that, as Sri Ramakrishna says, conversation stops; the only sounds you hear are of eating and drinking. The third rule is that when you are done, you have to wait until the last person has finished the last bite before you get up. This unwritten code of banana-plate manners makes even the largest family feast go smoothly. In personal relationships, Epictetus suggests, we should observe the same kind of restraint. Don't try to cling to people, to hold people to you; everything changes and if you try to arrest relationships and hold on to others (or to things), making them conform to your own needs, you will lose all the magic of life. William Blake says it beautifully: He who binds to himself a joy Does the winged life destroy; But he who kisses the joy as it flies Lives in eternity's sunrise. ************ How right is Eknath Eswaran indeed! And how admirably he says it! Many people think that Detachment means withdrawal from the world! This is utter rubbish. The Man of Detachment is not some world-weary soul who rejects everything around him. Nor is he some severe ascetic who shuts everything and everyout of his life. Detachment from the world does not mean derailment from it. Detachment means exactly what Krishna explains it as in the 'Gita' verse we saw above -- "yadrucchha lAbha santushtO..." i.e. Detachment means never yearning for the unwanted, unnecessary things of the world. Detachment means knowing exactly what is really essential for one in this life and world and being perfectly content with it ..."santushti". It means cheerfully accepting whatever comes one's way in the natural course of things and events. Detachment means never scrambling after or grasping desperately at all the petty things of this world we see around us -- the things by which we really shall gain nothing except perhaps whet some whim or vanity of ours.... True Detachment lies in the ability to let go of things and people... willingly, gracefully, without a tinge of regret and self-pity in us. ********** In the midst of all the frantic shopping now going on around me on the eve of Deepavali this week ... I find me saying this to myself deep within my heart: "Detachment is what I want. It is one of the best gifts I know I could ever give myself! Can somebody please tell me if there is a store somewhere in the world where I could go and purchase some Detachment in a bargain-sale?" ********* HAPPY DEEPAVALI, ONCE AGAIN, ALL OF YOU!!! Regards, dAsan, Sudarshan ______________________ India Matrimony: Find your partner online. 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