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A NEW DRESS CALLED "virataha" FOR THIS YEAR's DEEPAVALLI!

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Dear friends,

 

In a few days now the joyous festival of Deepavali

will descend upon us (Oct 25, '03). The Light of

Auspiciousness will spread through our homes, families

and hearts! Let me wish you all members and your

families a very Happy Deepavali! May the Almighty who

resides on the Hill of Venkatam protect us always!

 

**********

 

Deepavali is the time for new clothes and new goods!

It is an occasion that long tradition has turned into

custom for our families to go on a merry, unrestrained

shopping spree. In India especially, Deepavali is

when a whole nation goes to market on a buying binge!

Building up slowly throughout the year like a

gathering storm, the pent-up desires of people -- for

cars, silks, jewellery, home-appliances, real-estate

or whatever -- their desire for all these new things

or what is called "goodies" of the world finally boils

over in a virtual riot of shopping during the weeks

leading to and following Deepavali!

 

Once the shops announce their 'Sale', 'Festival offer'

and 'Festival bonanzas', the cash-registers begin

whirring overtime and business swings into overgear!

Jostling crowds of womenfolk go hither and thither,

from shop to shop, from bargain to bargain, clamouring

for this thing and that, flashing their dazzling

credit-cards and wallets as if there were no tomorrow!

 

 

Come hell or high tide, whatever be the cost, and no

matter how many shops they must climb up or down, the

ladyfolk will go to the very ends of downtown Madras,

Dubai or LA if that's where on earth they can buy that

new piece of jewellery just out in the market this

season! Before the 'mAmi' next-door beats them to it,

they must somehow buy that ravishing new brand of

'churidar' just out in the market...

 

And while the wives busy themselves in the souk, all

that the poor, harried husbands can do meanwhile

(after having been comprehensively relieved off their

salary and Deepavali bonuses) is lag behind in the

mall's parking-lots, driving round and round in

endless circles, looking for a slot in a roiling sea

of honking vehicles, billowing exhaust and angry,

policemen blowing their whistles to shoo them all

away...

 

For most of us, be it in India or abroad, this is what

'Happy Deepavali' has become: an annual orgy of

frenzied consumerism. The 'Festival of Light' is half

observed at home these days; the other half, the more

important half of Deepavali, is celebrated over the

'bargain-sale' counters of Spencer Plaza at Chennai,

the City-Centre in Dubai or at WalMart in LA

perhaps...

 

*********

 

A new personal wardrobe, however, ought never to be

the only reason for celebrating Deepavali or the sole

highlight of the festival.

 

Deepavali is actually nothing if not a festival of

annual renewal... renewal both without and within.

There is an urge within each one of us that we can all

easily recognize -- it is the urge for a periodic

renewal of inner spirit. It is a far more powerful

urge than the need for mere new apparel. The annual

change-out of garments during Deepavali is only an

outward expression of such deeper inner need. It would

be a big mistake on our part to think that

life-renewal is easily attained by a mere change of

clothes or designer-jewellery.

 

In Tamil there is an old proverb:

 

"aaL pAdhi aadai paadhi"

 

If clothes maketh half the man, the qualities he

possesses maketh the rest of him. The test of good

taste in a man lies not only in how smartly he is

turned out but also in his manners and the personal

qualities he carries within him. Both sartorial

elegance and sterling character must combine in equal

measure to make anyone into a man of substance.

 

So if Deepavali is occasion to add to a man's

wardrobe, it is equally good occasion to expand the

wardrobe of one's inner being too. One therefore needs

to renew the apparel of the soul too by clothing it

with at least one brand-new quality every year.

Patience, for instance, could be the quality to wear

one year. Courage, next, could be the garment to

acquire the following Deepavali. Kindness or

Courteousness could be next... and so on and so

forth...

 

When our soul too gets thus annually renewed, with one

new quality being added each year as new clothes for

it ("aaL pAdhi aadai paadhi"), the festival of

Deepavali then becomes not only joyous but also truly

meaningful.

 

*********

 

This Deepavali (2003) I feel I would really love to

acquire, if at all I could by any means, a brand new

human quality for myself. It is the quality called

'Detachment'.

 

Detachment is a very rare quality and a very difficult

one to attain for the noblest of men in this world. If

Detachment were to be an automobile it would surely

rank as, say, a 'Rolls Royce 2004-Limited Edition'; if

it were diamond jewellery it would surely be a DeBeers

piece; and if it were richest woven silk, it would

surely be the finest variety ever to come out of the

looms of Kancheepuram. Of all the human qualities

known to man, Detachment, without doubt, is the most

outstanding and the most priceless one... Oh, how I

would love to buy this quality!

 

I am not ashamed to say that I now covet Detachment as

greedily I as I know (in my college days many years

ago) I once used to yearn for a new pair of

Levi-Strauss jeans on Deepavali day. My desire for

Detachment, I find, is becoming more and more intense

as the years go by, and more so especially after I

found it being hailed in the 'Bhagavath-gita' where

Lord Krishna Himself endorses it as:

 

yadrucchha lAbha santushtO

dvandhAtheethO vimatsarah I

samah-siddhAvasiddhow cha

krutvApi na nibhadhyatE II (IV.22)

 

Nothing in the world perturbs the man

Who remains content with whatever comes his way;

Envy, success, failure, strife --

Nothing moves or unmoves the Man of Detachment.

 

Whenever I read this verse of the Gita I cannot help

thinking, "How wonderful, O how wonderful it would be,

indeed, if only I could go to a clothes-store and

purchase Detachment off the shelf as easily as I might

pick up a beautiful Lacoste T-shirt at Debenhams on a

Deepavali day."

 

**********

 

Detachment is a god-like quality. Indeed, it is an

adornment for God Almighty and is even one of the

several attributes of excellence and auspiciousness

("kalyANa-gUNa") said to define Him.

 

In the 'Vishnu Sahasranamam' there is a beautiful

stanza describing the Almighty Vishnu as the very

embodiment of that rare quality of Detachment. It

reads as follows:

 

rAmah viramah viratah: mArgO nEyO nayOnayah

veera shaktimatAm srEshtO dharmO-dharma-viduttamah

(Stanza 43)

 

The 398th 'nAma' of the Sahasranamam is "viratah:"

--meaning, "the One who is ever Un-attached or

Detached".

 

Explaining this quality of Detachment as it is to be

found in God Himself, Sri Parashara Bhattar, in the

magnificent commentary he wrote on the

'Vishnu-Sahasranamam', draws our attention to a

poignant incident from the "sundara-kAndam" (the 4th

of the seven 'kAndA-s' or Parts of the 'Valmiki

Ramayana'):

 

When Hanuman met Sita in the Ashokavana, the

prison-grove in which Ravana incarcerated her in

Lanka, she was briefed of Rama's whereabouts and

condition. Sita listened to Hanuman's briefing with

joy tinged with pain. She could not suppress a wave of

memory that suddenly swept her mind. With hot tears

filling her eyes and emotion choking her heart she

recollected to Hanuman in meltingly beautiful words

her memories of the early days she'd spent as the

young bride of Rama.

 

While speaking in that nostalgic vein, Sita began to

extol the lofty and noble character of Rama. She spoke

of the many good qualites Rama possessed, of both the

the heart and head, but she paused to make special

mention to Hanuman of one particular quality her

husband had that was unparalleled by anyone in the

world in her own estimate:

 

"dharmApadE satyajatascha rAjyam

mAmchapyaranyam nayatah padAtim ..."

 

(V.36-29 Va.Ram)

 

"He gave up a throne and a vast kingdom

And walked away into the wilderness with me

Solely on a matter of dhArmic principle!"

 

After many months of painful separation from her

husband Rama -- a period during which she often

wondered whether she would ever remain alive to see

him again -- when the moment arrived when Sita was to

recollect her Lord, there was only towering quality of

his by which she could instantly recall him --- it was

Rama's great quality of Detachment -- "viratah"! It

was the quality of supreme and serene Detachment with

which Rama had accepted the fact, at the very last

moment, that he was not going to be coronated King of

Ayodhya, that he must make way for his brother

Bharatha instead, and furthemore, he must leave the

kingdom for 14 long years of exile in the wilderness

of the forests...

 

Who else, Sita herself marvelled to Hanuman, who else

but a man of such supreme "viratah" her beloved Rama

possessed, could ever pass up a throne, a kingdom,

wealth, pomp and all as nothing but mere trifle ...and

walk away just like that!

 

*********

 

Now, we may ask, what exactly is the nature of this

rare and wonderful quality, Detachment?

 

One of my favourite religious authors, Sri Eknath

Eswaran, in his book "Thousand Names of Vishnu", has a

splendid explanation. I reproduce it below:

 

"Epictetus has an excellent metaphor for teaching

detachment, perhaps the most important skill to

acquire for living in a world of change. "Remember,"

he says,

 

To behave in life as you would make sure to behave

at a banquet. When something is being passed around,

as it comes to you, stretch out your hand and take a

portion of it gently. When it passes on, do not try to

hold on to it; wen it has not yet come to you, do not

reach out for it with your desire but wait until it

presents itself. So act toward children, toward

spouse, toward office, toward wealth.

 

Epictectus would have been at home at a Hindu

banquet, for we have three unwritten rules (of

detachment):

 

One is that there is a regular apportionment of space

on the piece of banana leaf that serves as a plate.

You don't pile things on top of each other. Each

delicacy is served in a particular order in its

appropriate place.

 

Second, when something delicious is put in front of

you, you don't start in gobbling immediately; you wait

until everybody has been served. Children get so

impatient that a mother sometimes has to train her

little one by slapping his wrist gently; but by the

age of five or so all are able to sit patiently

waiting for until the serving is done and everyone

observes a few moments' repetition of the 'mantram'

('parisheshana mantram'). After that, as Sri

Ramakrishna says, conversation stops; the only sounds

you hear are of eating and drinking.

 

The third rule is that when you are done, you have to

wait until the last person has finished the last bite

before you get up. This unwritten code of banana-plate

manners makes even the largest family feast go

smoothly.

 

In personal relationships, Epictetus suggests, we

should observe the same kind of restraint. Don't try

to cling to people, to hold people to you; everything

changes and if you try to arrest relationships and

hold on to others (or to things), making them conform

to your own needs, you will lose all the magic of

life. William Blake says it beautifully:

 

He who binds to himself a joy

Does the winged life destroy;

But he who kisses the joy as it flies

Lives in eternity's sunrise.

 

************

 

How right is Eknath Eswaran indeed! And how admirably

he says it!

 

Many people think that Detachment means withdrawal

from the world! This is utter rubbish. The Man of

Detachment is not some world-weary soul who rejects

everything around him. Nor is he some severe ascetic

who shuts everything and everyout of his life.

Detachment from the world does not mean derailment

from it.

 

Detachment means exactly what Krishna explains it as

in the 'Gita' verse we saw above -- "yadrucchha lAbha

santushtO..." i.e. Detachment means never yearning for

the unwanted, unnecessary things of the world.

Detachment means knowing exactly what is really

essential for one in this life and world and being

perfectly content with it ..."santushti". It means

cheerfully accepting whatever comes one's way in the

natural course of things and events. Detachment means

never scrambling after or grasping desperately at all

the petty things of this world we see around us -- the

things by which we really shall gain nothing except

perhaps whet some whim or vanity of ours....

 

True Detachment lies in the ability to let go of

things and people... willingly, gracefully, without a

tinge of regret and self-pity in us.

 

**********

 

In the midst of all the frantic shopping now going on

around me on the eve of Deepavali this week ... I find

me saying this to myself deep within my heart:

 

"Detachment is what I want. It is one of the best

gifts I know I could ever give myself! Can somebody

please tell me if there is a store somewhere in the

world where I could go and purchase some Detachment

in a bargain-sale?"

 

*********

 

HAPPY DEEPAVALI, ONCE AGAIN, ALL OF YOU!!!

 

Regards,

 

dAsan,

Sudarshan

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

______________________

India Matrimony: Find your partner online.

Go to http://.shaadi.com

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