Sri Alavandhaar's SthOthra Rathnam verse- 47- Inspite of all my undeserving disqualifications, I am still desirous of mOksham! Fie upon me

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SrI:

SrImathE Gopaladesika mahadesikaya namah:

 

Dearest Srivaishnavas,

 

Earlier he performed Saranagathi in 22nd verse. Now he

has described the mOksham and sought as the fruit for

his prapatti performance in 46th verse.

 

Alavandhaar thinks that he Lord appears to ask: The

sages have performed Prapatti as part of bhakthi yoga

and have performed bhakti yoga. You have performed

effortlessly Prapatti and have sought mOksham- and

responds describing His dayaa guNA (compassion) and

his own disqualifications and his undeserving

characteristics.

 

dhigasuchim avineetham nirbhayam (dhayam) maama lajjam

parama purusha yO(S)ham yOgivaryaagragaNyai:

vidhi siva sanakaadhyair dhyaathum madhyantha dhooram

thava parijana bhaavam kaamayE kaama vrittha: [47]

 

Oh Parama purushaa! Unparalelled Supreme One! I- who

is lowliest of the lowliest; - who is impure in manas,

vaak and kaayam (speech, mind and action), who is

immodest; who is audacious; who never adheres and acts

in accrodance with saasthrAs; who transgresses at all

times; who acts to the whims and fancies of mind’; who

is impudent; who thinks that this is an independent

self; who is self willed; -

 

Inspite of all the above which are my qualifications,

still I am desirous of mOksham and would like to be

the eternal servant at Your feet- which even the likes

of Chathurmukha BrahmA, Rudran [sivan] and Sanaka muni

et al can not even conceive and attain… I am so

shameless; and fearless… and fie upon me… for being

so… I hate myself for being so shameless and not

bothered that others would laugh at me for seeking

mOksham with such [great] qualifications…

 

Following in accordance in saasthrAs; adhhereing to

what saasthrAs presecribe abd perform karma anushtanam

based on that strictly; eating saatvika food and if

one does lead the life then slowly sattva buddhi would

develop. Then will one listen to discourses, prostrate

elders, vidwAns, and hear their sad upadEsams humbly

and obediently. One would serve the elders and

Acharyas with respect and great bhakti for them

listening and following what they instruct and

initiate. Even when they consider such Acharyan as

their Lord himself, they are still scared and have an

apprehension that they are not qualified and deserving

to approach You for seeking mOksham; even if others

praise them as vidwAns and saatvIki, they feel ashamed

for being what their nature is (though they are quite

pure) and hide themselves from elders and perform

their anushtAnam without being noticed and exist with

utter humility. Even such great mahaans are not equal

to BrahmA, Rudran and even the Parama vairAgIs- like

Sanaka rishis. Even they themselves are not scared of

asking for mOksham from You and feel that they are not

deserving yet.

 

Otherwise, they would have sought and asked and got

mOksham- long ago.. the very fact that they have not

yet got- means they do not yet consider themselves as

deserving. But look at me- I have not studied anything

in order. One may say- it is inappropriate for me for

me to ask mOksham shamelessly. But I am

kaaamavrutthan- desirous. I am even desirous of this

mOksham. It is clear that I am so.

 

In as much as I transgress all saasthrAs and do not

abide by the same, I do NOT follow the mOksha

saasthram also and seek from you the mOksham with all

such disqualifications and seek shamelessly. When

thinking of it, I myself hate me for being so. But

still, please listen to me and my plea further.

 

Alavandhaar ThiruvadigaLE SaraNam

Regards

Namo Narayana

Dasan

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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