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"maRRai nam kaamangaL maaRRu"- (PART 23)

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The Story of Saint Poosalar: Conquest of “kaama”

---------------

through Sublimation of Desire --

“bhakti yOga”

-----------

 

Next to Man's "mating instinct", it is his "homing

instinct" that is perhaps the most powerful passion

("kaama") ruling his life.

 

Every man in the world dreams first of acquiring a

"beautiful, loving wife". It is the primal urge of

"kaama" within the human breast. But after a wife has

been won, the next thing every man dreams about is

acquiring a "nice big house" where he and his wife

"could then live happily ever after".

 

This universal dream for a "home-sweet-home" where the

ideals of both conjugality and domesticity can come

together to reside in everlasting union and bliss

("kaama") --- this dream too is in fact yet another

manifestation of the Vedantic "purushArtha" called

"kaama" which all men aspire. In the 4-fold scheme of

Vedantic "purushArtha", the 3rd and 4th are known as

"inbam" and "veedu", Tamil expressions which in

ordinary day-to-day parlance mean "happiness" and

"home". None can fail to appreciate the subtle

significance behind the linguistic association between

the two.

***********

 

Many are the poets in the world who have been inspired

to give expression to this great twin-ideal of human

sexuality and human domesticity. A "home" somewhere on

Planet Earth that one could possess and proudly call

"one's own" is a very deeply sentimental and universal

yearning of Man indeed. The English poet Alexander

Pope defined Man's Happiness as little more than being

"bound by a few acres of land" around his home:

 

"Happy the man whose wish and care

A few paternal acres bound,

Content to breathe his native air

In his own ground".

(Alexander Pope: "The Quiet Life")

 

Another English poet S.Rogers waxed eloquent about the

happiness of domesticity i.e. a comely wife and a cozy

home upon a hill beside a brook running quietly

through the valleys....

 

"Mine be a cot(tage) beside the hill,

A bee-hive's hum shall soothe my ear;

A willowy brook that turns a mill

With many a fall shall linger near.

 

The swallow, oft, beneath my thatch

Shall twitter from her clay-built nest;

Oft shall the pilgrim lift the latch

And share my meal as welcome guest.

 

Around my ivied porch shall spring

Each fragrant flower that drinks the dew;

And Lucy (my wife), at her wheel, shall sing

In russet gown and apron blue.

 

The village-church among the trees

Where first our marriage-vows were given,

With merry peals shall swell the breeze

And point with taper'd spire to Heaven".

 

(S.Rogers: "A Wish")

 

*************

 

Being "homeless" in this vast, lonely world is one of

the most terrifying prospects for Man. If there was no

such thing as a "Home" to which we could all daily

return at nightfall to retreat and to retire from our

weary, working lives, our plight would be unimaginably

sad and troubled. We would find ourselves lost in the

sheer and frightening desolation that we know envelops

all the world as it spins eternally through the dark,

cold emptiness of endless, timeless space.

 

Soldiers upon a battle-field, especially, are the ones

most prone to yearn for the peace and security of the

homestead. Amidst the death and pain, the blood and

guts, the carnage and grief surrounding them all the

time while in battle, soldiers who encounter Death

almost every day of their lives are indeed the ones

who most acutely experience the pain of loneliness

that overwhelms every man who finds himself far, far

away from home. The pain of such soldierly pathos was

captured in extremely moving verse once by an old

English poet:

 

"Our bugles sang truce, for the night-cloud had

lower'd,

And the sentinel stars set their watch in the sky;

And thousands had sunk on the ground overpower'd,

The weary to sleep and the wounded to die.

 

"Methought from the battlefield'd dreadful array

Far, far away I had roam'd on a desolate track;

T'was autumn -- and the sunshine arose on the way

To the home of my fathers, that welcomed me back.

 

"Then pledged we the wine-cup, and I formally swore:

From my home and my weeping friends never to part;

My little ones kiss'd me a thousand times o'er

And my wife sobb'd aloud in her fulness of heart".

 

*************

 

The love and longing that every man carries within him

for a home are indeed as powerful a passion in life as

the love he harbours for his Woman. Wife and home are

but two sides of the same "kaama" coin.

 

A man will willingly travel to the ends of the world

to secure a home. He will go to any lengths -- beg,

borrow, steal or undertake any penance ("tapas") -- to

acquire a house. I have lived and worked in the

Arabian Gulf for well over 12 years now. Every year I

have seen plane-loads of my countrymen arrive here all

in search of fortune. I have witnessed them toiling

hard for several years. They work hard and earn much

and though thrift and prudence manage to put aside

handsome savings. And almost everyone whom I took the

liberty to ask "What made you leave your native

shore?" always had this reply for me, "To make money,

of course; make enough to build a nice house back home

for myself in India!". That stock reply never fails to

vividly remind me of one of several of my own dreams

which, many years ago, brought me here too from my

native land.

 

What is true of the expatriate worker from India in

the Arabian Gulf is perhaps true to a much lesser

degree in the case of other Indians who too have

ventured out to other far-flung parts of the world in

search of a fortune. Still it is true: at the end of

the day, they all simply want one thing in life --"To

build a nice big house back home one day in India

where I and my wife can live happily (ever after)!"

 

Such is indeed the awesome power of attraction and

attachment("kaama") for a house that a man will want

to move the tallest mountain or cross the high sea for

one!

 

***************

 

The complex feelings of "kaama" associated with one's

home are nowhere as clearly manifested than in the

extraordinary behaviour of a person immediately after

he has proudly secured his earthly abode.

 

For millions of those living and working in India --

all the 1 billion-odd teeming humanity in that vast,

blessed country -- building and owning a house has

nowadays become something of a national obsession.

Getting a house is a "lifetime dream". From the day a

young Indian couple marries until the day it owns an

"apartment" (or, better still, "an independent

bungalow"), the couple virtually "eats, dreams and

breathes 'home, home and home'".

 

>From the day the young couple eventually owns one

(thanks to the mortgage-loan that the "friendly ("main

hoon na!") "housing-bank" advertising itself as a

"dream-merchant", advanced them) until their dying

day, the young "home-owners" are usually as deeply

infatuated with their house, and as deeply engaged in

continually beautifying and embellishing it, as they

are with each other. And what extraordinary ways

indeed such love ("kaama") for the home manifests

itself!

 

Some "dream-couples", for example, dream of turning

their "beautiful new living room" into that "perfect

hi-tech home-theatre that we'd both always wanted in

life --- replete with "Bose-speakers and Dolby-

projection systems with hi-resolution flat-screen

wall-mounted LCD" (whatever that means!). Now,

whenever I meet such effusive couples, it has never

ceased to intrigue me why someone would want to take a

hefty 20-year mortgage to buy a nice big-house only to

then turn it into a stuffy domestic cinema-hall!

 

Then there are other couples whose love for their home

makes them want to proudly turn it into an art-gallery

of sorts. They will show off their "lifetime

collection" of antique pieces and objets-de-art. Jade,

porcelain, china, crystal etc. from exotic parts of

the globe, as well as all manner of bauble and

frippery from the remotest corners of the world, not

to mention a few imitation Monet or Picasso reprints

thrown in for effect.... all these will find a pride

of place on a shelf-rack in their brand new

drawing-room!

 

Then there are some couples who will use books to

elaborately ornament their homes. Walking into their

homes can often be an experience only somewhat less

awesome than entering the sprawling reading-rooms of

the British Museum Library. You will find

floor-to-ceiling shelves all loaded-up with books and

tomes of every sort on every possible subject in the

world. Hard-back, paper-back, leather-bound,

vellum-wrapped books, collector's editions,

dictionaries, encyclopaedia, best-sellers; fiction,

travelogue, biography, history, popular science,

poetry, drama.... you name it, you will see it all

there in their living room all stacked up in shiny,

freshly varnished shelves.

 

There is yet another type of "kaamic" feelings for a

home that exhibits itself in human behaviour. Many

couples these days are inspired by what are known as

"environmental concerns". Besides subscribing to those

great global causes for which the worldwide

environmental organization known as "Greenpeace" today

fights, these couples choose to voice such concerns at

home too by turning the private living spaces of their

home into a bold 'environmental statement'. Nothing

gives them greater pleasure than letting everyone

walking into their house discover that the host and

hostess are both such great "lovers of the earth's

forests" that they've willingly brought large chunks

of it right into their bedroom even. Walking around

the house you will notice that much of their living

space has been converted into make-believe tropical

rain-forest bottled inside a mini-greenhouse. Indoor

plants, vine, orchids, rhodendrons, bonsai, ivy,

potted-cactus, Amazonian creepers, Japanese

cherry-blossom.... all these you will see right there

swirling around the sofa or settee you are seated upon

while you converse with the proud couple sitting

happily hand-in-hand before you, reminding you once

again of the old English verse above:

 

"Around my ivied porch shall spring

Each fragrant flower that drinks the dew;

And Lucy (my wife), at her wheel, shall sing

In russet gown and apron blue".

 

**************

 

Thus, so intense and pervasive indeed is Man's love of

his earthly home, and indeed so deep his attachment to

it, that his feelings of "kaama" for the house that he

loves to call is his "very own" lasts for an entire

lifetime. It is what you might call "a passionate

love-affair"; one that survives and endures time... as

long, in fact, as the one for his spouse which neither

wilts nor fades "until Death do them part".

 

****************

(to be continued)

 

Regards,

dAsan,

Sudarshan

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

________

India Matrimony: Find your partner now. Go to http://.shaadi.com

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