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hesychast prayer / little poem

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In every possible way I could I proceeded step by step on my lonely journey into

the unknown, into the immaculate darkness of myself.

The hardships, loneliness; the utter despair!

So much have I unlearned, given away, left behind, never to look back again, not

knowing what next would challenge me, regardless of my hellish fatigues.

I am a lonely man now, young yet old, desperate yet full of rapture forsaking

all man could ever dream of.

Who could have warned me of the conscious diamond that swallows all time and suffering?

I am the thundering oceans, I am the mysterious stars and the uncaused shining

heavens above, still nothing is here, o lost soul, you can ever relate to.

"Lord, have mercy!"

 

The living dried wood of the known invites me to be burned as a sacrifice of Love,

I stand here alone and now am daring to make this ultimate sacrifice, purified

through divine struggle as I am,

Myrrh fragrance forming shapes of Cherubim's embracing and comforting me with ancient hymns of Eden,

I collapse: hands folding together in the dark and dusty little corner of "me",

"Lord, have mercy!"

 

I am lost now, back in my eternal abode, I wander around these spheres unsure:

"Know you are everything: the walls, the garden and even the throne".

I don't feel at home, vagabond, owner and inhibitor of a celestial palace

existing in itself.

My reign is compassion -so it seems- never have I been other: the natural state

of being what I am: the limitless expansion of Intelligence.

My kingdom is founded by the living and intelligent sound of galactic creation

-OM-, how, Beloved, could I have forgotten?

How could I have ever forgotten I am, indeed, the Unlimited Mercifier, the Friend?

"Lord, have mercy!"

 

By knowing nothing I found out the mystery of the all Pervasive,

I was there before the birth of man and fish and trees, abiding as "I-I",

I was there witnessing the dreamlike appearance of the eternal Destroyer: "I-I",

I am here to witness the final collapse of thought: "I-I".

"Lord, have mercy!"

 

I have seen my own deathbed this dreaded day in spring, blooming blossoms, and

the old apple tree in the corner of the garden, oh Joy!

I have seen this body grow from the warmth of my mothers breasts to an old and

satisfied man lost in not knowing, forgotten, abandoned.

I AM beyond the apple tree, my death will be a lonely one, reunion with the

Friend on such a spring day should be a mystery.

"Lord, have mercy!"

 

I am humanity - I AM

I AM I-I

 

Amen.

 

---Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.Checked by AVG anti-virus system

(http://www.grisoft.com).Version: 6.0.516 / Virus Database: 313 - Release Date:

9/1/2003

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---Dear Ben ,thanks very much for posting this most excellent Poem .It is worth

reading and

re-reading over and over again, it is pregnant with meaning! Love and every

best wish , in His

Grace, Alan

 

 

In every possible way I could I proceeded step by step on my lonely journey

into the unknown,

> into the immaculate darkness of myself.

> The hardships, loneliness; the utter despair!

> So much have I unlearned, given away, left behind, never to look back again,

not knowing what

> next would challenge me, regardless of my hellish fatigues.

> I am a lonely man now, young yet old, desperate yet full of rapture forsaking

all man could ever

> dream of.

> Who could have warned me of the conscious diamond that swallows all time and

suffering?

> I am the thundering oceans, I am the mysterious stars and the uncaused shining

heavens above,

> still nothing is here, o lost soul, you can ever relate to.

> "Lord, have mercy!"

>

> The living dried wood of the known invites me to be burned as a sacrifice of

Love,

> I stand here alone and now am daring to make this ultimate sacrifice, purified

through divine

> struggle as I am,

> Myrrh fragrance forming shapes of Cherubim's embracing and comforting me with

ancient hymns of

> Eden,

> I collapse: hands folding together in the dark and dusty little corner of

"me",

> "Lord, have mercy!"

>

> I am lost now, back in my eternal abode, I wander around these spheres unsure:

"Know you are

> everything: the walls, the garden and even the throne".

> I don't feel at home, vagabond, owner and inhibitor of a celestial palace

existing in itself.

> My reign is compassion -so it seems- never have I been other: the natural

state of being what I

> am: the limitless expansion of Intelligence.

> My kingdom is founded by the living and intelligent sound of galactic creation

-OM-, how,

> Beloved, could I have forgotten?

> How could I have ever forgotten I am, indeed, the Unlimited Mercifier, the

Friend?

> "Lord, have mercy!"

>

> By knowing nothing I found out the mystery of the all Pervasive,

> I was there before the birth of man and fish and trees, abiding as "I-I",

> I was there witnessing the dreamlike appearance of the eternal Destroyer:

"I-I",

> I am here to witness the final collapse of thought: "I-I".

> "Lord, have mercy!"

>

> I have seen my own deathbed this dreaded day in spring, blooming blossoms, and

the old apple

> tree in the corner of the garden, oh Joy!

> I have seen this body grow from the warmth of my mothers breasts to an old and

satisfied man

> lost in not knowing, forgotten, abandoned.

> I AM beyond the apple tree, my death will be a lonely one, reunion with the

Friend on such a

> spring day should be a mystery.

> "Lord, have mercy!"

>

> I am humanity - I AM

> I AM I-I

>

> Amen.

>

>

> ---

> Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.

> Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).

> Version: 6.0.516 / Virus Database: 313 - Release 9/1/2003

>

 

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