Enlightening Humor

[Guest guest]

My apologies on injecting some non-Ramana material on this list, but I

just could not resist...

 

- Ashish Mahajan

 

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Drive your Karma, Curb Your Dogma

 

 

Swami Beyondananda's Guidelines for Enlightenment

 

1. Be a FUNdamentalist. Make sure that the fun always comes before the

mental. Realize that life is a situation comedy that will never be

canceled, a laugh track has been provided, and the reason we are put in

the material world is to get more material. Have a good laughsitive

twice a day which will insure regularhilarity.

 

2. Remember that each of us has been given a special gift just for

entering ~ so you are already a winner!

 

3. The most powerful tool on the planet today is tell-a-vision. That is

where I tell a vision to you, and you tell a vision to me. That way, if

we don't like the programming we're getting, we can change the channel.

 

4. Life is like photography. You use the negative to develop. And no

matter what adversity you face, be reassured: Of course God loves you ~

He's just not ready to make a commitment.

 

5. It is true. As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts, thought

particles tend to get caught between the ears, causing a condition

called "truth decay". So be sure to use mental floss twice a day.

 

6. If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments and truly

live like nomads. That's where I no mad at you, you no mad at me. That

way, there will surely be nomadness on the planet. And peace begins with

each of us. A little peace here, a little peace there, and pretty soon

all the peaces will fit together to make one big peace everywhere.

 

7. I know great Earth changes have been predicted for the future, so if

you're looking to avoid earthquakes, my advice is simple. When you find

a fault, don't dwell on it.

 

8. There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is toilet

train the world, and we'll never have to change it again.

 

9. If you're looking to find the key to the Universe, I have some bad

news and some good news. The bad news is, there is no key to the

universe. The good news is, it has been left unlocked.

 

10. Finally, everything I have told you is channeled. That way, if you

don't like it, it's not my fault. And remember, enlightenment is not a

bureaucracy. So you don't have to go through channels.

 

CSwami Beyondananda, 1998

 

 

 

The FUNdamentalist Humanifesto:

How to Become Fooly Aware

By Swami Beyondananda

 

 

I have long been a supporter of the human potential movement. No matter

what I see on the 6:00 news, I still feel we have the potential to be

human. But how do we actually actualize our humanity? How do we

humanifest our full potential? Many teachers are telling us that the

shift is already taking place. Perhaps you have felt the gears grinding

in your own karma. Well, there is no better way to lubricate your

transmission than with laughter. That is why so many formerly-serious

people have joined the humorin' potential movement and become

FUNdamentalists -- accent on "fun."

 

Like many of you, I began as a seeker of wisdom. I came of age during

the sects revolution, and I explored all kinds of kinky sects. But I

never felt fulfilled. I finally saw the light when I woke up one morning

with a sugar hangover at a biker crash-pad. I was wearing an orange

leather vest and reeked of incense. Yes, I had become a Harley Krishna.

I took a good look at myself in the mirror, and that's when enlightning

struck and I found foolfillment. I became fooly-realized the moment I

realized that I was a fool -- and there was nothing to do about it but

laugh. And I've been preaching FUNdamentalism ever since.

 

The Five Fundamentals of FUNdamentalism

 

1. Life Is a Joke -- But God Is Laughing With Us, Not At Us. God is

tuned to the Comedy Channel, and we are His Funniest Home Videos. We

take turns being comedian and straight man (and yes, a gay woman can be

a straight man -- it happens all the time), so we get the fool spectrum

of experience. And we have free choice. We get to choose whether or not

we laugh. While we FUNdamentalists are ardently pro-laugh, we are

pro-choice as well. We honor every human being's right to not be amused.

But I figure, why resist a Farce that is greater than any of us? If life

is a sitcom, might as well sit calm and enjoy it.

 

2. Fun Is Fundamental. FUNdamentalists believe that life is

fundamentally fun -- that underneath all the stress, distress and

negativity, there is an deep well of joy. Each time laughter bubbles up

from that well, we experience deep wellness. A fooly-aware person need

only look in the mirror to begin laughing. So play to God daily.

Surrender to the Farce, and smile ... you're on Candid Karma.

 

3. A Laugh Track Has Been Provided. The FUNdamentalist scriptures tell

us that on the Eighth Day, God saw the world was funny and created

Laughter. And since we were humoring Him, He decided to humor us. So He

provided a laugh track so we could laugh along. But when things get

serious, we lose track of the laugh track. Fortunately, the best way to

overcome gravity is with levity. We can use the levitational pull to

help us rise above whatever is bringing us down -- and help us get back

on track.

 

4. We Are Put In the Material World To Get More Material. Spirit is

immaterial, so it must materialize to experience anything. Without

material existence, there would be nothing to laugh about and no one to

do the laughing. We have been given the human jestive system to turn the

material of life into laughter. When we laugh, God laughs. And when we

laugh with God, we are using the spiritual to heal the material. To be

happy in life, you must be able to take a joke. And if you can leave a

few as well, all the better.

 

5. Nonjudgment Day Is At Hand! When a majority of human beings would

rather laugh than condemn, we will have an uncritical mass, and this

will usher in Nonjudgment Day. On Nonjudgment Day, we will all win

beauty contests. Lawyers will disappear, and all our trials will be

over. On this glorious day when enlightning strikes, our clown chakras

will open, we will become fooly-realized, and we will finally get the

joke. The world will stop -- and everyone will get off.

 

 

 

Copyright C 1999 by Steve Bhaerman. All rights reserved.

Excerpted from Swami's new book DUCK SOUP FOR THE SOUL.