Meditation:A BIRD CANNOT FLY WITHOUT TWO WINGS

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Read this on papaji and ramana

 

The story of Sri H.L.Poonja (Papaji) as told to David Godman

I APPROACHED THE MAHARSHI in a belligerent way.Are you the man who came to see

me at my house in the Punjab? I demanded. The Maharshi remained silent.

 

I tried again. grave;Did you come to my house and tell me to come here? Are you

the man who sent me here? Again the Maharshi made no comment.

 

Since he was unwilling to answer either of these questions I moved on to the

main purpose of my visit. Have you see God? I asked And if you have, can you

enable me to see Him? I am willing to pay any price, even my life, but your

part of the bargain is that you must show me God.

 

No, he answered. I cannot show you God or enable you to see God, because God is

not an object that can be seen. God is the subject. He is the seer. Don t

concern yourself with objects that can be seen. Find out who the seer is. He

also added, You alone are God as if to rebuke me for looking for a God who was

outside and apart from me .

 

His words did not impress me. They seemed to me to be yet one more excuse to add

to the long list of those I had heard from swamis all over the country. He had

promised to show me God, yet now he was trying to tell me that not only could

he not show me God, no one else could either. I would have dismissed him and

his words without a second thought had it not been for an experience I had

immediatly after he had told me to find out who this I was who wanted to see

God.

 

At the conclusion of his words he looked at me, and as he gazed into my eyes my

whole body began to tremble and shake. A thrill of nervous energy shot through

my body. My nerve endings felt as if they were dancing and my hair stood on

end. Within me I became aware of the spiritual Heart. This is not the physical

heart. It is, rather, the source and support of all that exists. Within the

Heart I saw or felt something like a closed bud. It was very shiny and bluish.

With the Maharshi looking at me, and with myself in a state of inner silence, I

felt this bud open and bloom. I use the word bud , but this is not an exact

description. It would be more correct to say that something that felt bud-like

opened and bloomed within me in the Heart. And when I say Heart , I dont t mean

that the flowering was located in a particular place in the body. This Heart,

this Heart of my Heart, was neither inside the body nor out of it. I cant give

a more exact description of what

happened. All I can say is that in the Maharshi s presence and under his gaze,

the Heart opened and bloomed. It was an extraordinary experience, one that I

never had before. I had not come looking for any kind of experience, so it

totally surprised me when it happened.

 

Though I had had an immensely powerful experience in the presence of the

Maharshi, his statement You alone are God and his advice to find out who the

seer is did not have a strong appeal to me. My inclination to seek a God

outside me was not dispelled either by his words or by the experience I had had

with him. I thought to myself, It is not good to be chocolate. I want to taste

chocolate I wanted to remain separate from God so that I could enjoy the bliss

of union with Him.

 

When the devotees came in that afternoon I viewed them all with the rather

prejudiced eye of a fanatical Krishna bhakta. So far as I could see they were

just sitting quietly, doing nothing. I thought to myself, No one here seems to

be chanting the name of God. Not a single person has a mala (rosary) to do japa

with. How can they consider themselves to be good devotees? My views on

religious practice were rather limited. All these people may have been

meditating, but so far as I was concerned, they were wasting their time.

 

I transferred my critical gaze to the Maharshi and similar thoughts arose: This

man should be setting a good example to his followers. He is sitting silently,

not giving any talks about God. He doesn t appear to be chanting the name of

God himself, or focussing his attention on Him in any way. These disciples are

sitting around being lazy because the Master himself is sitting there doing

nothing. How can this man show me God when he himself shows no interest in Him?

 

 

With thoughts like these floating around in my mind, it was not long before I

generated a feeling of disgust for both the Maharshi and the people who

surrounded him. I still had some time before I had to report for duty in

Madras, but I didnt want to spend it with all these spiritually lazy people in

the ashram. I took off to the other side of Arunachala, a few kilometres away,

found a nice quiet spot in the forest on the northern side of the hill, and

settled down there to do my Krishna japa alone and undisturbed.

 

I stayed there for about a week, immersed in my devotional practices. Krishna

would often appear before me, and we spent a lot of time playing together. At

the end of that period I felt that it was time to go back to Madras to make

preparations for my new job. On my way out of town I paid another visit to the

ashram, partly to say goodbye and partly to tell the Maharshi that I didn t

need his assistance for seeing God because I had been seeing Him every day

through my own efforts.

 

When I appeared before him, the Maharshi asked, Where have you been? Where are

you living?On the other side of the mountain, I replied. And what were you

doing there? he enquired.

 

He had given me my cue. I was playing with my Krishna, I said in a very smug

tone of voice. I was very proud of my achievement and felt superior to the

Maharshi because I was absolutely convinced that Krishna had not appeared to

him during that period.

 

Oh, is that so? he commented looking surprised and interested. Very good, very

nice. Do you see Him now? No sir, I do not, I replied. I only see Him when I

have visions.

 

I was still feeling very pleased with myself, feeling that I had been granted

these visions, whereas the Maharshi had not. So Krishna comes and plays with

you and then He disappears, said the Maharshi. What is the use of a God who

appears and disappears? If He is a real God, He must be with you all the time .

 

 

The Maharshi s lack of interest in my visionary experiences deflated me a

little, but not to the extent that I was willing to listen to his advice. He

was telling me to give up my search for an external God and instead find the

origin and identity of the one who wanted to see Him. This was too much for me

to swallow. A lifetime of devotion to Krishna had left me incapable of

conceiving the spiritual quest in any other terms than that of a quest for a

personal God. ... ... Having therefore got, in my own jaundiced opinion,

nothing from the Maharshi except a good experience and some bad advice, I

returned to Madras to take up my new job.

 

I found a nice house to live in, big enough to accomodate my family, and began

my work. The job itself did not interest me much but I did it dutifully and to

the best of my ability because I had a wife and children to support. All my

spare time and energy was devoted to communing with Krishna. I made a puja room

in my house, informing my wife that when I was in it, I was never to be

disturbed... ...

 

>From my childhood on, from about the age of eight, I had been in love with

Krishna. I knew about Krishna bhaktas and how they behaved, but I had never

heard of saints who just sat quietly. In the Punjab people showed their

devotion by singing bhajans. With this background I didn't appreciate what I

saw when I first encountered the Maharshi. One day though, all this changed.

The Maharshi himself appeared before me in Madras and said, 'Krishna bhakti

alone is true. Krishna bhakti alone is true.' By this time I knew that he never

left Tiruvannamalai for any reason, so I had to assume that it was some kind of

vision. I went back to Tiruvannamalai to get confirmation of this

manifestation. I wanted to ask him if he really had appeared to me and said

these things about Krishna bhakti.

 

I had had some disagreement with him on my first visit and this disagreement had

somehow stuck in my mind. If someone always agrees with you, you don't think

much about him. But if you have had a quarrel with someone, that person and the

quarrel you have had are always surfacing in your mind. That was what was

happening to me in Madras. Thoughts of the Maharshi would often come to me

because I didn't agree with his views on God. I went back to Ramanasramam and

asked the Maharshi, 'Are you the person who appeared to me in Madras and told

me, 'Krishna bhakti alone is true?' ' He heard my question but he didn't give

me a reply. While I was waiting for an answer, a group of devotees came from

Vrindavan. They were on a tour of pilgrimage places in the South. On their

visit to Tirupati they had heard that there was a swami in Tiruvannamalai who

was worth visiting. So, they all came along to have darshan. The leader of the

group presented the Maharshi with a picture of

Krishna playing the flute for Radha. It was a beautiful picture.

 

As the Maharshi was looking at the picture, tears started trickling down his

cheeks. When you have intense devotion for Krishna, you can easily pick out

other devotees who have that same passion. I could see that these were real

tears of devotion and that they came from the heart and not from the mind. As I

watched the tears trickling down his cheeks, I felt them trickling into my own

Heart. It was a divine shower that filled my own Heart with love. He was so

happy looking at that picture, and I felt so happy looking at him appreciate

it. I thought to myself, 'This man has been hiding his devotion from me. He

doesn't like to show it publicly, but now I have found out his secret. He is

just as much a bhakta as I am.'

 

A bird cannot fly without two wings. After this revelation I saw that the

Maharshi was soaring on the twin wings of bhakti and jnana (devotion and

transcendental knowledge). From that moment on, my doubts evaporated and I had

immense faith in him.... When I tried to resume my chanting, I found that I

could not repeat the name of Krishna any more. Somehow my mind refused to

cooperate. I couldn't read any of my spiritual books either. My mind,

thought-free and quiet, refused to concentrate on or pay attention to any of

the spiritual objects I tried to put in front of it. It was all very

mystifying.

 

For a quarter of a century the divine name had been flowing effortlessly through

my mind; now I couldn't even utter it once. My thoughts turned once more to the

Maharshi in Tiruvannamalai. ... ... I sat in front of him and began to tell him

my story. For twenty five years I have been repeating the name of Krishna. Up

till fairly recently I was managing 50,000 repetitions a day. I also used to

read a lot of spiritual literature. Then Ram, Sita, Lakshman and Hanuman

appeared before me. After they left, I couldn't carry on with my practice. I

can't repeat the name any more. I can't read my books. I can't meditate. I feel

very quiet inside but there is no longer any desire in me to put my attention on

God. In fact I can't do it even if I try. My mind refuses to engage itself in

thoughts of God. What has happened to me and what should I do?' The Maharshi

looked at me and asked, 'How did you come here from Madras?' I didn't see the

point of his question, but I politely

told him the answer : 'By train.' And what happened when you got to the station

at Tiruvannamalai?' he enquired. 'Well, I got off the train, handed in my

ticket and engaged a bullock cart to take me to the ashram.' And when you

reached the ashram and paid off the driver of the cart, what happened to the

cart?' It went away, presumably back to town,' I said, still not clear as to

where this line of questioning was leading. The Maharshi then explained what he

was driving at. The train brought you to your destination. You got off it

because you didn't need it anymore. It had brought you to the place you wanted

to reach. Likewise with the bullock cart. You got off it when it had brought

you to Ramanasramam. You don't need either the train or the cart any more. They

were the means for bringing you here. Now you are here, they are of no use to

you. That is what has happened with your chanting. Your japa, your reading and

your meditation have brought you to your spiritual destination. You

don't need them any more. You yourself did not give up your practices; they left

you of their own accord because they had served their purpose. You have

arrived.'

 

Then he looked at me intently. I could feel that my whole body and mind were

being washed with waves of purity. They were being purified by his silent gaze.

I could feel him looking intently into my Heart. Under that spellbinding gaze I

felt every atom of my body being purified. It was as if a new body was being

created for me. A process of transformation was going on Ñ the old body was

dying, atom by atom, and a new body was being created in its place. Then,

suddenly, I understood. I knew that this man who had spoken to me was, in

reality, what I already was, what I had always been. There was a sudden impact

of recognition as I became aware of the Self. I use the word 'recognition'

deliberately, because as soon as the experience was revealed to me, I knew,

unerringly, that this was the same state of peace and happiness that I had been

immersed in as an eight-year-old boy in Lahore, on the occasion when I had

refused to accept the mango drink.

 

The silent gaze of the Maharshi re-established me in that primal state. The

desire to search for an external god perished in the direct knowledge and

experience of the Self which the Maharshi revealed to me. I cannot describe

exactly what the experience was or is, because the books are right when they

say that words cannot convey it. I can only talk about peripheral things. I can

say that every cell, every atom in my body, leapt to attention as they all

recognised and experienced the Self that animated and supported them, but the

experience itself I cannot describe. I knew that my spiritual quest had

definitely ended, but the source of that knowledge will always remain

indescribable.

Ravi Sankar

Lusaka,ZambiaAshish Mahajan <ash.mahajan (AT) worldnet (DOT) att.net> wrote:

"It doesn't matter what terms you use (words are the least reliable formof

communication), it all comes down to living in awareness. And then,it becomes

total awareness.And what is it of which you become totally aware? You

eventually becomeaware of Who You Are.Daily meditation is one way you may

achieve this. Yet it requirescommitment, dedication--a decision to seek inner

experience, not outerreward.And remember, the silences hold the secrets. And so

the sweetest soundis the sound of silence. This is the song of the soul.If you

believe the noises of the world rather than the silences of yoursoul, you will

be lost.[Question:] So daily meditation is a good idea?A good idea? Yes. Yet

know again what I have just said here. The songof the soul may be sung in many

ways. The sweet sound of silence may

beheard many times.Some hear the silence in prayer. Some sing the song in their

work.Some seek the secrets in quiet contemplation, others in lesscontemplative

surroundings.When mastery is reached--or even intermittently experienced--the

noisesof the world can be muffled, the distractions quieted, even in the

midstof them. All of life becomes a meditation.All of life is a meditation, in

which you are contemplating the Divine.This is true wakefulness, or

mindfulness.Experienced in this way, everything in life is blessed. There

isstruggle and pain and worry no more. There is only experience, whichyou may

choose to label in any way you wish. You may choose to labelall of it

perfection.So use your life as a meditation, and all the events in it. Walk

inwakefulness, not as one asleep. Move with mindfulness, not mindlessly,and do

not tarry in doubt and fear, neither in guilt norself-recrimination, yet

reside in permanent splendor in the assurancethat you are grandly loved. You are

Always One with Me. You areforever welcome. Welcome home.For your home is in My

heart, and Mine in yours. I invite you to seethis in life as you will surely

see it in death. Then you will knowthat there is no death, and that what you

have called life and death areboth part of the same unending experience.We are

all that is, all that ever was, and all that ever will be, worldwithout

end.Amen."Typed from Conversations with God, Book 3, by Neale Donald Walsch,

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